Author Topic: Friends?  (Read 8318 times)

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Nora

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Friends?
« on: August 12, 2010, 08:57:57 PM »
Apparently one of my best friends thinks I'm probably a huge pothead, based solely on the fact that I'm Dutch and don't think it's worse than any other legally availably drug in this country. She seems to have translated this into "I love illegal drugs, and use them all the time".

This would be a great opportunity to use the "what an interesting assumption" line, if I where not crying so hard.
Just because someone is offended that does not mean they are in the right.

StarDrifter

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Re: Friends?
« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2010, 09:08:03 PM »
Stupid, judgemental people like that are *not* friends.

Honestly, you are better off without a person like this in your life.

...and drop us a line in the I Need a Hug folder down in Coffee Break- you sound like you can use a few!
... it might frighten them.
Victoria,

Nora

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Re: Friends?
« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2010, 09:20:32 PM »
It was a bad evening. Spent a gazillion dollars to give friends a nice evening, and then instead of "Isn't Nora nice, she bought lot's of cheese, wine, fruit, etc to present to us", it became "Don't we think Nora is too liberal, and thus probably is too much of a pothead too take care of her family".

I'm telling you; nice evening ruined.
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GoldenGemini

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Re: Friends?
« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2010, 09:30:12 PM »
Wow!  She made several galaxy-sized leaps there, didn't she?

I don't happen to hold the same opinion as you about those drugs, but I certainly don't think you're a pothead because you do, or because you're Dutch, or both!  That's really a time for the line, if not the Freeze!!

This woman knows you right? Interacts with you face to face?  How can she think that?  Does she not believe the evidence of her own eyes?  I don't even know you IRL, and I think based on your posts and pics, you take wonderful care of your family and you clearly love them a lot.  I can't believe someone who can see the love shining from you would think you don't take care of them!

I think you might need to look at this "friendship".  Hugs!


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JonGirl

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Re: Friends?
« Reply #4 on: August 13, 2010, 06:29:40 AM »


With friends like that...
I'd get rid of her real quick. I'm actually angry for you.  >:(
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zoidberg

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Re: Friends?
« Reply #5 on: August 13, 2010, 07:23:39 AM »
Good lord, way to go for a friend.
 >:(

I happen to hold the same view you do, but come on. The idea behind liberalism is exactly that: I donít need to like what you do but as long as it doesnít harm others, go right ahead. This is logical fallacy at itís best. I have several non-smoking friends who opposed the strict anti-smoking law in Germany. There are also a lot of pro-choice people out there who would never have an abortion. One does not equal the other.

Iím sorry she treated you this way. Time to cut this person out of your life, Iím afraid. Itís okay to be anti-pot. But itís not okay to insinuate you canít care for your family just because you happen to live in a liberal country.

I for one would be honored to have you for a friend.  :-*

shhh its me

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Re: Friends?
« Reply #6 on: August 13, 2010, 07:37:16 AM »
 Argh , I don't even think it's an interesting assumption , I think it qualifies as asinine.

"She must not take care of her family" from a guest in your home or host is bad enough to earn more then that's an interesting assumption.
" I find your assumptions ridiculous, illogical and highly insulting , please leave/I'm leaving"  would be appropriated.

 

Lisbeth

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Re: Friends?
« Reply #7 on: August 13, 2010, 07:38:28 AM »
I agree that this is not an "interesting" assumption, it's an irrational and really insulting one.

I would cut her out of my life too.
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Nora

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Re: Friends?
« Reply #8 on: August 13, 2010, 07:53:53 AM »
It was not said outright so much as implied. Apparently you should not discuss anything unless you want people to assume that you are in the ranks of criminals. We live in Norway where pot is illegal, but used to live in the Netherlands where I noticed that it wasn't the terrible path to hard drugs it's sometimes piped up to be.

It's not even about that, it's more about how she jumped to approximately a thousand different conclusions, and then told me I was judging her about having had an ex with drugproblems. It really came from nowwhere for me. I was flabbergasted.

This after she earlier in the evening asked me if her kid could stay with me for 3 days because she was going out of town. I just don't know what to think.
Just because someone is offended that does not mean they are in the right.

squashedfrog

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Re: Friends?
« Reply #9 on: August 13, 2010, 08:44:24 AM »
It was a bad evening. Spent a gazillion dollars to give friends a nice evening, and then instead of "Isn't Nora nice, she bought lot's of cheese, wine, fruit, etc to present to us", it became "Don't we think Nora is too liberal, and thus probably is too much of a pothead too take care of her family".

I'm telling you; nice evening ruined.

 :o what in the name of Kelsey Grammar made her think that was ok to say??????  If that had been me, she would have had a wedge of that lovely cheese stuck up her nose.

Ok modifed as I have just read the update, but I think that says volumes about her own choices than yours!

((Hugs))
« Last Edit: August 13, 2010, 08:45:55 AM by squashedfrog »

Shiraz_Much?

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Re: Friends?
« Reply #10 on: August 13, 2010, 08:48:43 AM »

This after she earlier in the evening asked me if her kid could stay with me for 3 days because she was going out of town. I just don't know what to think.
I hope that it is safe to "assume" that you won't be watching her kid for 3 days!!!
I am furious for you!   >:(

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Nora

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Re: Friends?
« Reply #11 on: August 13, 2010, 08:57:21 AM »
Thank you all for the moral support. Good to know it's not a general assumption. I'm going to try to let it go, nothing good will come of stewing.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=82203.msg1954666#msg1954666
Just because someone is offended that does not mean they are in the right.

Amava

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Re: Friends?
« Reply #12 on: August 13, 2010, 09:39:09 AM »
It can be quite sad and desillusioning to find out that people who we looked upon as friends, are actually stupid and judgemental clods.

I would not be doing anything for her in the future - and I would definitely not watch her kid for her.

Argh , I don't even think it's an interesting assumption , I think it qualifies as asinine.

"She must not take care of her family" from a guest in your home or host is bad enough to earn more then that's an interesting assumption.
" I find your assumptions ridiculous, illogical and highly insulting , please leave/I'm leaving"  would be appropriated.
lol from now on I'm going to start using the phrase "What an asinine assumption!" in my head.
And yes, the bolded sounds about right as a response.

Nibsey

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Re: Friends?
« Reply #13 on: August 13, 2010, 10:09:35 AM »
Argh , I don't even think it's an interesting assumption , I think it qualifies as asinine.

"She must not take care of her family" from a guest in your home or host is bad enough to earn more then that's an interesting assumption.
" I find your assumptions ridiculous, illogical and highly insulting , please leave/I'm leaving"  would be appropriated.

 

My SIL is always making comments like the OP 'friend' about my and SO liberal views. Actually she made the exact same comment in front of SO parents a few days ago. I always wanted to say something like above but for the sake of family harmony I can't.  >:D
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pinkunicorn

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Re: Friends?
« Reply #14 on: August 13, 2010, 11:46:01 AM »
Boy I would have got up and left had a supposed "friend" say something like that to me.

After dealing with an ex (and still dealing with him, since we have to communicate because of the kids) who makes stupid, asinine assumptions like that, I've learned quickly when the conversation turns to pointless assumptions and stupid accusations that I do not have to subject myself to that and I leave/hang up/do whatever it takes to remove myself from the situation.

Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent!
Never try to fit in when you are meant to stand out!