Author Topic: "Exes" on Facebook  (Read 3716 times)

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PeasNCues

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"Exes" on Facebook
« on: August 17, 2010, 08:39:35 AM »
Hey - I wasn't sure whether this was techno-etiquette or dating etiqutte. Perhaps is the mutated byproduct of both!

I went out on a date sunday that went really well (we're going out again on Friday).

As such, I posted my status on Facebook as "cute guy + zombie jokes = best date yet!" and then I went out with my fam.

When I came back, a guy I had dated briefly (a little over a month) a while ago - as in, back in april/may - (http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=78283.0) has posted in response to this post, "?? ?? ??"

I deleted the comment and blocked the guy (who was only not blocked because I had hidden his feed while I was still dating him... and then we broke up and I didn't think about it), but I thought it was quite cheeky of him to comment on my date in the first place and feel if it upset him, he should have blocked me.

What do you think?
'I shall sit here quietly by the fire for a bit, and perhaps go out later for a sniff of air.  Mind your Ps and Qs, and don't forget that you are supposed to be escaping in secret, and are still on the high-road and not very far from the Shire!' -FOTR

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Amava

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Re: "Exes" on Facebook
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2010, 08:53:20 AM »
I think I would have commented back: "And the best part? HE LOVES BUNNIES!!!"

But, that's just me. ;)

Pepper Saltzman

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Re: "Exes" on Facebook
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2010, 08:55:01 AM »
He was not rude.  He was on your friend list and able to comment on your posts.  Now he cannot.  Problem solved.

ETA:  I also don't think the comment he posted was rude.  It was just a series of question marks, correct? 
  
« Last Edit: August 17, 2010, 08:58:28 AM by Onomatopaeia Zadora »

Larrabee

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Re: "Exes" on Facebook
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2010, 09:07:48 AM »
I'm not sure if he was rude, but he was definitely odd.  What were you supposed to reply to that?

I have a policy that no exes stay friends on facebook, I'm a cut all ties kinda gal.  I only make an exception for my first ever boyfriend/ex because he's literally the nicest human being in the world. 

You definitely weren't rude to block.


TurtleDove

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Re: "Exes" on Facebook
« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2010, 09:13:52 AM »
I would be cautious about posting information about early dates in general.  If one of my early dates posted what you did, I would be a little irritated I think.  I don't think your ex-date was out of line and I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that your date upset him.  If you don't want to be friends with the guy who commented with the question marks, then by all means defriend, block, whatever.  But I don't think what he did was offensive.

PeasNCues

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Re: "Exes" on Facebook
« Reply #5 on: August 17, 2010, 09:22:48 AM »
I would be cautious about posting information about early dates in general.  If one of my early dates posted what you did, I would be a little irritated I think. 
Posts about having gone out on a good date are irritating? Why? I didn't think of that! Guy I'm Currently dating is not friends with me on facebook and we have no mutual friends, so he would not see my feed anyways.

Thanks for the feedback, everyone! It was just a little wierd to me because this was the first communication from him since I broke up with him (if he had posted on my status before, I would have been like, "Oh yeah, I have to block him!" lol. Facebook doesn't follow your out-of-computer relationship status and update itself, evidently!).  But, now that he is safely blocked, I have nothing to worry about. I also double-checked my friends list. He is the only one I needed to block. :)
'I shall sit here quietly by the fire for a bit, and perhaps go out later for a sniff of air.  Mind your Ps and Qs, and don't forget that you are supposed to be escaping in secret, and are still on the high-road and not very far from the Shire!' -FOTR

http://inanitiesofanidlemind.blogspot.com/

Granny Takes a Trip

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Re: "Exes" on Facebook
« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2010, 09:23:37 AM »
I would be cautious about posting information about early dates in general.  If one of my early dates posted what you did, I would be a little irritated I think.  I don't think your ex-date was out of line and I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that your date upset him.  If you don't want to be friends with the guy who commented with the question marks, then by all means defriend, block, whatever.  But I don't think what he did was offensive.

I agree with your first point, but not with your second.  I would also be cautious about posting such info early, as it could come off as a bit too keen. However, the man who commented was rude and intrusive. He and Peas are broken up, and were never serious to begin with. It is none of his business who she dates, and I find it very odd that he should feel hs has a right to comment. I also draw any other conclusion but that the Peas' date upset him. Otherwise, he would either have not posted, or posted something friendly ??? is not a very freindly post. It indicates irritrated confusion.
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wetblanket

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Re: "Exes" on Facebook
« Reply #7 on: August 17, 2010, 09:52:23 AM »
This is the bunny-hater?  Hmm... I don't think his comment fully qualifies as rude, but it's definitely "off".

Delia DeLyons

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Re: "Exes" on Facebook
« Reply #8 on: August 17, 2010, 10:44:45 AM »
I think I would have commented back: "And the best part? HE LOVES BUNNIES!!!"

But, that's just me. ;)

I almost responded with pretty much exactly this, but thought maybe it wasn't good form, hehe :-)  at least I'm not alone!
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bah12

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Re: "Exes" on Facebook
« Reply #9 on: August 17, 2010, 11:43:38 AM »
I don't see typing a series of question marks as rude or intrusive.  I don't even read it as being upset about the date.  If I had read that status update, I'd be more curious about the zombie jokes than the date itself (but I never dated the OP).

Like someone said, this was never a serious relationship, so there's no logical reason to think that someone you've been on a few dates with wouldn't comment with the same level of innocent curiousity as any other facebook friend.

That being said, there's also nothing wrong with blocking him.  If you would have done this earlier, just forgot, then doing it now is ok.  It seems you don't want any contact with him and that's perfectly ok.

Granny Takes a Trip

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Re: "Exes" on Facebook
« Reply #10 on: August 18, 2010, 07:12:15 AM »
I don't see typing a series of question marks as rude or intrusive.  I don't even read it as being upset about the date.  If I had read that status update, I'd be more curious about the zombie jokes than the date itself (but I never dated the OP).

Like someone said, this was never a serious rel@tionship, so there's no logical reason to think that someone you've been on a few dates with wouldn't comment with the same level of innocent curiousity as any other facebook friend.

That being said, there's also nothing wrong with blocking him.  If you would have done this earlier, just forgot, then doing it now is ok.  It seems you don't want any contact with him and that's perfectly ok.

I thought about this further, and I came to the conclusion that you are right. As you say, though, there is nothing wrong with blocking him.
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Corvid

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Re: "Exes" on Facebook
« Reply #11 on: August 18, 2010, 08:07:31 AM »
You're all so much nicer than me.  My first thought was that his ego might be a little bruised because "the best date yet" wasn't one with him and the question marks were along the lines of "Huh?  How do zombie jokes make for 'the best date yet' and not that time when I took you to X place?"

PeasNCues

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Re: "Exes" on Facebook
« Reply #12 on: August 18, 2010, 08:13:30 AM »
Hey, just a quick update.

I went ahead and deleted my post about the date from my facebook page. I'm not sure why it would be considered bad, but I decided not to risk it!  :D
'I shall sit here quietly by the fire for a bit, and perhaps go out later for a sniff of air.  Mind your Ps and Qs, and don't forget that you are supposed to be escaping in secret, and are still on the high-road and not very far from the Shire!' -FOTR

http://inanitiesofanidlemind.blogspot.com/

Winterlight

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Re: "Exes" on Facebook
« Reply #13 on: August 18, 2010, 01:08:03 PM »
You're all so much nicer than me.  My first thought was that his ego might be a little bruised because "the best date yet" wasn't one with him and the question marks were along the lines of "Huh?  How do zombie jokes make for 'the best date yet' and not that time when I took you to X place?"

That was my thought too.
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Re: "Exes" on Facebook
« Reply #14 on: August 18, 2010, 01:27:06 PM »
You're all so much nicer than me.  My first thought was that his ego might be a little bruised because "the best date yet" wasn't one with him and the question marks were along the lines of "Huh?  How do zombie jokes make for 'the best date yet' and not that time when I took you to X place?"

That was my thought too.

Me 3

I would wonder why this ex is keeping tabs on PnQ's. It was a very brief less than a month, couple of dates kind of thing, certainly not a long history of d@ting or even having been friends before hand.

Stalkerish... much...??

OP, I'm glad you've blocked him  

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