Author Topic: How to Respond?  (Read 2040 times)

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LadyR

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How to Respond?
« on: August 17, 2010, 10:36:25 PM »
Oh for the vils of Facebook. I recently posted some non-professional pictures of our recent wedding, to share with people who were there and people who couldn't make it (a dear friend of ours live in Hong Kong now). We got a lot of well wishes from people who weren't there, many who weren't invited, polite well wishes which made me smile and then there was this comment:

"Nice picture you look gorgeous, sorry I wasn't there but you know I didn't get an invite lol."

I honestly have no idea how to respond to that. It was made by a girl I grew up (who was one of my best friend's once, but we've long since drifted apart and haven't been more than casual acquaintances in years). What makes me feel awkward is that I think she might think that she should have been invited since we'd known each other so long and that might be her way of letting me know. Is there any polite way to comment or should I just ignore it?
« Last Edit: August 17, 2010, 10:47:18 PM by Misha726 »


jais

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Re: How to Respond?
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2010, 10:40:24 PM »
I think her response answered your question.

LadyR

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Re: How to Respond?
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2010, 10:47:36 PM »
I think her response answered your question.

What response? I'm trying to figure out how to respond to her.


jais

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Re: How to Respond?
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2010, 10:52:47 PM »
"Nice picture you look gorgeous, sorry I wasn't there but you know I didn't get an invite lol."

shhh its me

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Re: How to Respond?
« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2010, 11:17:16 PM »
  I think OP is asking whether  she should ignore it as  PA dig or treat it as a compliment with a silly joke tacked on.

OP I hear it as a PA dig and would ignore it. You know your friend  though is she type to ramble and have things come out wrong ramble a bit more and make things worse? ........ Oh love the pictures , I would have loved to been there (ohhh wait she might think I expected an invite let me fix that) But I wasn't invited (yeah that's better*send* hmmm maybe that was worse I'm sure she'll figure out what I meant)

humbleonion

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Re: How to Respond?
« Reply #5 on: August 17, 2010, 11:20:11 PM »
There's certainly nothing wrong with ignoring it.  I might be tempted to treat it as a sincere compliment & write "Thanks!" as a response.  It depends on how you think she'd react, because I wouldn't want to provoke a Facebook fight. 

A third option is to delete it entirely.

ShadesOfGrey

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Re: How to Respond?
« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2010, 11:22:47 PM »
I would just say "Oh thank you!" or "Thanks! We had a great photographer!" and not even address the other part. 
Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning. - Maya Angelou

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou

Roe

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Re: How to Respond?
« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2010, 12:28:00 AM »
I would just say "Oh thank you!" or "Thanks! We had a great photographer!" and not even address the other part. 

Pod.  This is what I was going to say because honestly, what can you say?  She wasn't invited, oh well.  She'll get over it. I would just ignore that part and focus on the compliment. ;)

Alex the Seal

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Re: How to Respond?
« Reply #8 on: August 18, 2010, 04:06:19 AM »
You know your friend  though is she type to ramble and have things come out wrong ramble a bit more and make things worse? ........ Oh love the pictures , I would have loved to been there (ohhh wait she might think I expected an invite let me fix that) But I wasn't invited (yeah that's better*send* hmmm maybe that was worse I'm sure she'll figure out what I meant)

Exactly, it could easily be something like that. I'm leaning towards seeing it as a clumsy joke & compliment, but ultimately you know this person best, OP.

Either way, I think the best thing to do is ignore the ambiguous bit and accept the compliment  :)

TootsNYC

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Re: How to Respond?
« Reply #9 on: August 18, 2010, 08:21:04 AM »
I think the best way to deal with things that you *know* are a snarky dig is to treat them like they were completely genuine.

If you wanted to respond to the inviting part, there's always the "small wedding" excuse--"we couldn't include as many people as we wanted." But I'd just skip it.

aloe

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Re: How to Respond?
« Reply #10 on: August 18, 2010, 02:27:38 PM »
Agreed that it is best to ignore it.  I think the polite thing for her to have done was to write the compliment, but leave off the 'not invited' comment.

JoanOfArc

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Re: How to Respond?
« Reply #11 on: August 18, 2010, 06:10:01 PM »
I would ignore it.  Maybe it was snarky, maybe it wasn't.  But you don't have to reply to everything on FB and, in a situation like this, it maybe best to ignore it completely.
Chicken-keeper, welder, artist, student and lover of all things literary.

Amava

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Re: How to Respond?
« Reply #12 on: August 18, 2010, 06:13:38 PM »
I'd just say "thanks!" in reply to the first part of her comment and I would ignore the rest of it.

LEMon

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Re: How to Respond?
« Reply #13 on: August 19, 2010, 06:18:30 PM »
Is this relationship exactly where you feel it should be?  If she pulls back more, would you be hurt or fine with it?  The reason I ask is because of the suggestions to respond "thanks".  If she is PA, this may say to her 'you really don't love me anymore' and may lead to more antics.

Personally, I would go with ignore.

LadyR

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Re: How to Respond?
« Reply #14 on: August 19, 2010, 08:20:23 PM »
Is this rel@tionship exactly where you feel it should be?  If she pulls back more, would you be hurt or fine with it?  The reason I ask is because of the suggestions to respond "thanks".  If she is PA, this may say to her 'you really don't love me anymore' and may lead to more antics.

Personally, I would go with ignore.

I'm perfectly fine with the relationship as it is. We were best friends in grade school, drifted apart in high school, occasionally partied together in our early 20s and lost touch almost completely when I moved away from home five years ago, though we reconnected on Facebook. She's not really a part of my life at all anymore and I'm ok with that.

I'm inclined to just ignore the comments. Thanks everyone.