Author Topic: Online d@ting picture issue - Update post 25  (Read 4680 times)

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audrey11

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Re: Online d@ting picture issue
« Reply #15 on: August 22, 2010, 12:45:23 PM »
Doesn't a camera add 10 pounds anyway?   ;D

Allyson

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Re: Online d@ting picture issue
« Reply #16 on: August 22, 2010, 09:49:05 PM »
I would date a guy who weighs 175 pounds. I would date a guy who weighs 190 pounds. But if I got a picture of him looking like 175 and he showed up looking like 190, I'd have a problem because I'd feel like he was misleading me.

So I think you should lookat your posted pic three and see if they are really accurate. If they're not, then I agree with the suggestion that you take a new picture and send it over.

Also, apologies for any typos, I'm on my phone and the forums software doesn't work well with my screen.

I think most people are just thinking that when it's 15 pounds, it's probably impossible to tell. I sure couldn't tell from a picture whether a guy (or girl!) was 175 pounds or 190 pounds. I *could* tell a difference of fifty or sixty pounds, sure, but less than 20? Unlikely. It might be worth getting a friend to look at the picture and make sure it looks like you, but especially since it's an upper-body/face picture, I doubt it'd be that noticeable. you're right, though, that if it does make a huge difference there should be a new picture.

crazycatlady

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Re: Online d@ting picture issue
« Reply #17 on: August 23, 2010, 09:27:46 AM »
I would date a guy who weighs 175 pounds. I would date a guy who weighs 190 pounds. But if I got a picture of him looking like 175 and he showed up looking like 190, I'd have a problem because I'd feel like he was misleading me.

So I think you should lookat your posted pic three and see if they are really accurate. If they're not, then I agree with the suggestion that you take a new picture and send it over.

Also, apologies for any typos, I'm on my phone and the forums software doesn't work well with my screen.

I think most people are just thinking that when it's 15 pounds, it's probably impossible to tell. I sure couldn't tell from a picture whether a guy (or girl!) was 175 pounds or 190 pounds. I *could* tell a difference of fifty or sixty pounds, sure, but less than 20? Unlikely. It might be worth getting a friend to look at the picture and make sure it looks like you, but especially since it's an upper-body/face picture, I doubt it'd be that noticeable. you're right, though, that if it does make a huge difference there should be a new picture.

I may not be able to tell physical weight, but I would be able to tell approximate size.  15 lbs is enough of a difference to be a Medium in a picture and a Large-Xlarge in real life.  On a first date I think it is enough to make me wonder what else the person is 'fibbing' (intentionally or not) about. 

My online dating philosophy was to put up as many pictures of me as allowed by the site, and to have them be a variety of dressy-ness, makeup, and definitely some full body shots.  I figured that if the look of me was enough to turn them off, then better to not waste my time on a date with someone who clearly didn't like me.  I'd rather focus on people who like my pics then I can fully worry about whether or not the person is someone I would even want to spend time with. 

Larrabee

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Re: Online d@ting picture issue
« Reply #18 on: August 23, 2010, 09:48:44 AM »
I would date a guy who weighs 175 pounds. I would date a guy who weighs 190 pounds. But if I got a picture of him looking like 175 and he showed up looking like 190, I'd have a problem because I'd feel like he was misleading me.

So I think you should lookat your posted pic three and see if they are really accurate. If they're not, then I agree with the suggestion that you take a new picture and send it over.

Also, apologies for any typos, I'm on my phone and the forums software doesn't work well with my screen.

I think most people are just thinking that when it's 15 pounds, it's probably impossible to tell. I sure couldn't tell from a picture whether a guy (or girl!) was 175 pounds or 190 pounds. I *could* tell a difference of fifty or sixty pounds, sure, but less than 20? Unlikely. It might be worth getting a friend to look at the picture and make sure it looks like you, but especially since it's an upper-body/face picture, I doubt it'd be that noticeable. you're right, though, that if it does make a huge difference there should be a new picture.

I won't be putting a new picture up because I've actually taken my profile down.  I wasn't happy with the sheer number of inappropriate messages I received so I exchanged e-mail addresses with a couple of guys who seemed nice and left!

I would never have tried to seem thinner than I am intentionally, but the weight gain has been quite quick and I just don't have any photos of me taken in the last few months.  I suppose I could have posed for one but I think they tend to look awful!  I prefer to put up natural photos taken in social situations where my smile is more relaxed and I'm more 'myself' if that makes sense?

I suppose I'm also thinking of this weight gain as temporary so I'm reluctant to think of the heavier me as 'me' if that makes sense, although that's my issue to deal with, not the guys.   :(

MeowMixer

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Re: Online d@ting picture issue
« Reply #19 on: August 23, 2010, 04:12:01 PM »
How long had you had your profile up for? I only ask because sometimes it takes a while to weed out the idiots.

I talked to nice guys I thought were interested in me who just disappeared. I had one guy who told me I looked like a man in one of my pictures, then months later messaged me again to ask me to pose for pictures in my undies for money... I wish I was making that up. I did the online dating thing for 3 years. Took me that long but I found my partner in crime 5 years ago through that. It takes time and a half a pound of salt (grain of salt my rump) to get through it, but sometimes it's just worth it to stick it out.

However, if you meet a guy who says he enjoys stealing bike parts run the other way! I had one date with him (he told me that on the date) and it was all I could do to get him to stop emailing me.

The adventures of online dating is worth it in the hilarious/horror stories that come with it... 

Larrabee

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Re: Online d@ting picture issue
« Reply #20 on: August 23, 2010, 07:30:12 PM »
How long had you had your profile up for? I only ask because sometimes it takes a while to weed out the idiots.

I talked to nice guys I thought were interested in me who just disappeared. I had one guy who told me I looked like a man in one of my pictures, then months later messaged me again to ask me to pose for pictures in my undies for money... I wish I was making that up. I did the online d@ting thing for 3 years. Took me that long but I found my partner in crime 5 years ago through that. It takes time and a half a pound of salt (grain of salt my rump) to get through it, but sometimes it's just worth it to stick it out.

However, if you meet a guy who says he enjoys stealing bike parts run the other way! I had one date with him (he told me that on the date) and it was all I could do to get him to stop emailing me.

The adventures of online d@ting is worth it in the hilarious/horror stories that come with it... 

I've done the online dating thing before, met my ex that way, but I think this site just attracts some less savoury characters.  Possibly because its so huge so the sheer numbers on there means there'll be more oddballs!  My favourite was the one who got very angry when I said I preferred to e-mail for a bit rather than meet within days and then declined to continue communicating at all based on his reaction to that preference.  The e-mail berating me is a classic!  The phrase 'Ivory Tower' was used, I've saved it for posterity as its so funny.

Stealing bike parts huh?  That is an interesting one!

I might be tempted to try a different site in the future

Amava

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Re: Online d@ting picture issue
« Reply #21 on: August 23, 2010, 07:40:40 PM »
Doesn't a camera add 10 pounds anyway?   ;D

Good question. And the way someone is standing or sitting can do a lot, too.

I'm still convinced that I wouldn't see the difference, Larrabee. But maybe that is just because I don't pay attention.

WillyNilly

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Re: Online d@ting picture issue
« Reply #22 on: August 25, 2010, 11:57:29 AM »
I think your saving grace here is that you didn't have any full body photos up.  Because on anyone less then 6 feet tall or so, 15 pounds is absolutely always very obvious to anyone who pays attention to weight.  Now not everyone does, so not everyone can really see the difference, but to someone who pays attention to body size, anything over 10 lbs is not going to go unnoticed.

However if this person wants to go on a date with you having only seen chest and head photos, then this person probably isn't too worried about the rest of you.

I know for me, I make a point on my dating profile to mention "all photos are from within the last 18 months and most recent are the ones..."  I also make a point of having not only having pictures where I think I look good, but also plenty where I think I look awful - I figure if I think I look bad in 50% of photos, its probably that I actually look like that at least 50% of the time, and I'd rather someone see me for who I am (and reject me in private) then only show my very best looks and then show up in real life significantly less perfect.  Plus some of the pictures where I think I look like a dork, I've been told are the ones where I look "cute" or "approachable", etc so I bear in mind other people's preferences are not the same as mine.

BluePaint

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Re: Online d@ting picture issue
« Reply #23 on: August 25, 2010, 04:48:40 PM »
I think you'll be fine.  But if I were in your situation and I was feeling self-conscious about it, I would take a silly picture in the outfit I was planning on wearing to the date, send it to the guy, and asked him if my shirt was awesome enough for our date.

If he thinks you look fine, you go on your date and you never have to mention the weight topic.  If he's all offended, he'll suddenly develop stomach flu and you can move on to more compatible guys :)

Larrabee

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Re: Online d@ting picture issue - Update page 2
« Reply #24 on: August 25, 2010, 07:45:12 PM »
Slight update,

I went on the date, I feel like I dressed well and looked ok, I felt confident which is always a good indicator.

Judging by the very nice and complimentary text he sent shortly after, I don't think he was put off by my 15 extra pounds!

Thanks for all the advice everybody. 


Amava

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Re: Online d@ting picture issue - Update page 2
« Reply #25 on: August 25, 2010, 10:22:48 PM »
Slight update,

I went on the date, I feel like I dressed well and looked ok, I felt confident which is always a good indicator.

Judging by the very nice and complimentary text he sent shortly after, I don't think he was put off by my 15 extra pounds!

Thanks for all the advice everybody. 



Thanks for the happy update! Wheeeee *rooting for you*

Alex the Seal

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Re: Online d@ting picture issue - Update post 25
« Reply #26 on: August 26, 2010, 10:26:47 AM »
Great update Larrabee  :)