Author Topic: Do I have any responsbility here?  (Read 2653 times)

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ettiquit

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Do I have any responsbility here?
« on: August 20, 2010, 01:39:03 PM »
I've got a weird Facebook situation that I haven't been able to figure out a solution to.

BG: Years ago, I was good friends with a couple, K & N.  We drifted apart when DH and I moved to another part of town.  K (the wife) found me on FB and friended me.  We talked a bit and I found out that she and N were divorcing.  I was disappointed because N was a really neat guy.  K will often say really nasty things about N in her FB posts, which I tend to ignore.

/end BG

I have my own website and blog.  Sometimes I'll post a link to my FB profile when I write a new blog.  I also have a counter on my site, so I can get an idea of how much activity my blog is getting.  I happened to check the counter awhile ago and noticed a company in my town that I'd never heard of, and generally I know all the local people who check out my site.  So I look up the company, and it turns out to be a very small company employed by no other than...N. 

Here's the problem.  The referring url on my counter was FB.  My page is private.  The only possible way for N to access my website via FB is if he has access to my profile.  We're not FB friends, and I have a strong suspicion that he may have K's login info.  I did double-check to make sure that my page is still private, and it is.

Obviously I have no real proof, although it's hard for me to come up with another plausible answer to this.  Is this any of my business?  There's no way it wouldn't cause a big issue if she knew/thought N had hacked her account.  So, on one side I feel like I just need to stay out of it, and on the other hand I think it's wrong of me to not tell K that her account may have been compromised.

On a personal note, I always preferred N to K, so while I don't think K deserves to have her acct. hacked, I don't have all that much sympathy for her because of how she treats him (which she makes clear on FB).  So this really boils down to a what's wrong and right situation.

What to do?

Kaypeep

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Re: Do I have any responsbility here?
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2010, 01:54:58 PM »
MYOB.  You're making way too many assumptions and the situation has no affect on you and doesn't involve you at all.  Let it go.

dirtyweasel

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Re: Do I have any responsbility here?
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2010, 01:56:43 PM »
Ignore.  Although you have very good proof that N hacked into K's account I would say that you don't have 100% proof that he did.  Best to let her figure it out on her own. 



wheeitsme

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Re: Do I have any responsbility here?
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2010, 02:22:40 PM »
Their are other options.

I believe that if someone who has legitimate access to your FB page "Likes" a link, it shows up on their FB page.  And they might not have their page locked down.

What if the link was saved and made a "favorite" on a mutual acquaintance's computer?

Is it possible that a thorough web search might turn up your blog?  I can find my nephew's blog just by punching in a few things I know about him into a good search engine.

...just a FYI, and my 2 cents  ;)

Shiraz_Much?

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Re: Do I have any responsbility here?
« Reply #4 on: August 20, 2010, 02:25:59 PM »
Also, he may have only tried to get to your profile and when he did, realized that it was private.  I agree with a PP that you are making way too many assumptions.  Plus, I wouldn't get involved anyway - - not your bizness.  ;)

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shhh its me

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Re: Do I have any responsbility here?
« Reply #5 on: August 20, 2010, 02:32:20 PM »
  What you can do is mention N viewed your private blog and were surprised because you don't recall giving him the URL.

It may turn out she forwarded it to him for some reason.  Some divorcing couple do have moments of camaraderie

MaggieB

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Re: Do I have any responsbility here?
« Reply #6 on: August 20, 2010, 02:41:07 PM »
It's also possible that K had to meet with N at work to take care of paperwork or something and was either using one of their computers to kill time or using their network to access her computer.  It may not have even been N. 

I would stay out of it.  There's really no proof of any wrongdoing.

Shoo

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Re: Do I have any responsbility here?
« Reply #7 on: August 20, 2010, 03:16:24 PM »
Do you know where every one of your FB friends works?  Is it possible one of them also works at that company?

ShadesOfGrey

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Re: Do I have any responsbility here?
« Reply #8 on: August 20, 2010, 03:31:54 PM »
MYOB.  You're making way too many assumptions and the situation has no affect on you and doesn't involve you at all.  Let it go.

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Bramble

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Re: Do I have any responsbility here?
« Reply #9 on: August 20, 2010, 04:36:09 PM »
Does the referring link from Facebook give any insight onto which page they were on when they clicked the link?

All the different areas on facebook have different URL's and referrals generally show the exact URL.  So you should be able to see if the click thru was made from your profile page or maybe a private message or a post on someone else's page.

But really a referral is a very nebulous evidence, I'd stay out of it.

ettiquit

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Re: Do I have any responsbility here?
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2010, 05:15:34 PM »
Does the referring link from Facebook give any insight onto which page they were on when they clicked the link?

All the different areas on facebook have different URL's and referrals generally show the exact URL.  So you should be able to see if the click thru was made from your profile page or maybe a private message or a post on someone else's page.

But really a referral is a very nebulous evidence, I'd stay out of it.


Yeah, it goes directly to my profile.

Honestly, I'm pretty sure I'm right, but I'll take everyone's advice and stay out of it.  It's just kinda weird to stumble on something like that.

And obviously I can't say for certain that it was N just because it was done at his place of his business, but there are about 12 employees there and his was the only name I recognized.

wheeitsme

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Re: Do I have any responsbility here?
« Reply #11 on: August 20, 2010, 06:25:31 PM »

Yeah, it goes directly to my profile.

Honestly, I'm pretty sure I'm right, but I'll take everyone's advice and stay out of it.  It's just kinda weird to stumble on something like that.

And obviously I can't say for certain that it was N just because it was done at his place of his business, but there are about 12 employees there and his was the only name I recognized.

Perhaps someone from his work is still in contact/FB friend of his ex?

ettiquit

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Re: Do I have any responsbility here?
« Reply #12 on: August 20, 2010, 07:26:02 PM »

Yeah, it goes directly to my profile.

Honestly, I'm pretty sure I'm right, but I'll take everyone's advice and stay out of it.  It's just kinda weird to stumble on something like that.

And obviously I can't say for certain that it was N just because it was done at his place of his business, but there are about 12 employees there and his was the only name I recognized.

Perhaps someone from his work is still in contact/FB friend of his ex?

And logs into her FB account?

TootsNYC

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Re: Do I have any responsbility here?
« Reply #13 on: August 21, 2010, 12:16:21 AM »
Do you and N have absolutely *no* other mutual friends or mutual "friends" or common acquaintances?

cbcb

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Re: Do I have any responsbility here?
« Reply #14 on: August 21, 2010, 12:22:44 AM »
Here's the problem.  The referring url on my counter was FB.  My page is private.  The only possible way for N to access my website via FB is if he has access to my profile.  We're not FB friends, and I have a strong suspicion that he may have K's login info.  I did double-check to make sure that my page is still private, and it is.

Did you check the "how your profile appears to person" test, or just the settings? Because there is some info (name, profile pick, possibly networks) that is displayed to the public on your profile, and although I don't have a linked website on mine, this could include the "my homepage" link.