Sibling Rivalry

[momof2bratz]

I came across this story this morning, and thought it might make an interesting discussion point. The bares bones is that a former X-Factor contestant (Britains version of American Idol) missed his brothers wedding due to having a place in the semi-finals of the show.  I'm kind of torn on this, on the one hand I can understand how upsetting it must feel to have your twin brother not in attendance on your wedding day, and to not even acknowledge it in any way if the article is to be believed. However on the other hand, the original audition stages took place about 6 months before the wedding, and once they knew the brother had made it into the final stages, they had plenty of time to change the wedding date if it meant that much to have him there. Opinions???

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/showbiz/916572/Olly-Murs-brother-says-hes-a-sell-out.html

[PurpleFrog]

It sounds like a bit of sour grapes to me. While I can understand that he'd be disappointed about his brother not attending and not mentioning it, cutting off his family, even those who attended is extreme. The bits about family not hugging him cos they wished they were at X-factor instead almost sound like he feels his brother was on the show just to overshadow his wedding! And as for being unhappy that the family clapped louder at the show than at his wedding, purleese, if my family behaved like a live reality show audience at my wedding I'd bemortified! Different environments entirely.

I may be being a bit harsh, but I don't think he had the right to expect his brother to five up s life altering opportunity for his wedding. Never thought I'd be defending an X-factor contestant I hate the show. Lol.

[shhh its me]

   To me personally it reads like the groom brother was really annoyed that his brother was going to miss the wedding and was pitching a fit." I made the semi-finals and will be preforming unfortunately it's the same day as the wedding" (something like what I assume the groom was told) is pretty clear, really you needed it spelled out? I get the impression that the groom keep trying to talk it out until the other brother couldn't stand talking to him anymore.

Inviting the wedding guest list  to the show was uncalled for and the brother should have taken the opportunity to congratulate the HC during the show and taken 5 minutes a some point during the day to call the groom (but if the groom was being hostile at the time I wouldn't call before I had to go on so he may get a pass there) A video gift to the HC would have also been an option.

The groom talking about how many people his brother slept with was below the belt and well it's also uncouth for the contestant brother to have brought it up in the first place.  Less wrong if he didn't mention any names as his brother did , Rebbecca didn't do anything to anyone and it was appalling to mention her if only by first name.

[momof2bratz]

Yeah I kinda got the sour grapes vibe too. I figure, auditions take place early on in the year, he must have known his brother was into the final stages by late september, and so by then knew there was a chance the brother might not be able to attend the wedding. If it really meant that much to have the brother there, then he had 3 months in which to move the wedding by a couple of weeks, and so it is grossly unfair of him to heap all of the blame onto his brother for not attending.

[Shortcake]

Yeah I kinda got the sour grapes vibe too. I figure, auditions take place early on in the year, he must have known his brother was into the final stages by late september, and so by then knew there was a chance the brother might not be able to attend the wedding. If it really meant that much to have the brother there, then he had 3 months in which to move the wedding by a couple of weeks, and so it is grossly unfair of him to heap all of the blame onto his brother for not attending.

POD He sounds like he is jealous of the attention his brother is getting. It was really petty of him to compare the family's clapping and cheering at the show to the way they clapped at his wedding speech! He also assumed his family wasn't giving him hugs because they would have rather have been at the show. I don't know for a fact, but if he behaved the way his words came accross, then I imagine he was doing lots of pouting and complaining. Maybe his family was getting tired of his attitude (I may be making an interesting assumption here I admit  )
If he wanted  his brother to be at his wedding, it sounds like he had plenty of time to reschedule. After all, Olly really couldn't reschedule X Factor!
On the other hand, Olly should have called his brother on the wedding day, and said something during the show about wishing his brother and new SIL best wishes or something.
THe fact the brother is not speaking to the whole family  because of this situation, and that he is not speaking to his parents because Olly is living with them really shows how petty the brother is being.

[Shortcake]

The groom talking about how many people his brother slept with was below the belt and well it's also uncouth for the contestant brother to have brought it up in the first place.  Less wrong if he didn't mention any names as his brother did , Rebbecca didn't do anything to anyone and it was appalling to mention her if only by first name.

POD It was uncouth for the contestant to talk about or hint at how many girls he has slept with. It was even more wrong from the groom brother to bring it up again, and add names! The other girl contestant probably doesn't want it to be known she had a flirtation with another contestant. to make matters worse, groom had to add; "They kissed, but I don't know if they did anything else." (Quote might not be the exact words, but it was along those lines) Hopefully this won't start any rumors. It is always rude to start rumors. We don't even know if the storey about the crush is true or not! Also, poor Rebbecca! The groom should have at least kept the laddies' names a secret!

This did not cause me to want to be sympathetic to the groom!

[DangerMouth]

Sad situation. The wedding cost 45,000 pounds and was 18 months in the planning, that's not the kind of thing that easy to change in a few months time. And that Olly didn't even call his bro on his wedding day is just about unforgivable. This was a twin, they'd done everything together, it sounds like.

OTOH, spilling your guts in an interview is is about the most classless thing you can do. Olly isn't the only one whoring after publicity IMO.

[MadMadge43]

Wow can we say bitter? I could understand being upset about it,  but the way he's handling it makes me think that I too might stop talking to him also.

[aventurine]

Okay, Olly shouldn't have kept Ben hanging.  If he couldn't make it, he couldn't make it.  There's no excuse for being incommunicado about something like that.

But Ben really needs to suck it up.  I feel sorry for the bride; wonder how many times she's had to hear his spiel?



eta:  And he's going to boycott their sister's wedding over this?  Stay classy, dude.   

[Bright]

The wedding was during the live shows, where week after week someone gets voted off. I think it was actually the penultimate week of the show when the wedding conflicted with the live show date. So even though Olly did get through to the live shows there was absolutely no guarantee that he would still be in the competition come the time of the wedding.

I remember the papers and the forum talk of the time suggested that even at the last minute Olly might be able to do both, because the wedding and the X-factor performance were scheduled for different times of the day, but Simon Cowell put his foot down and said no (understandably really).

I can't see how rescheduling the wedding would have even been an option. It had been planned long before Olly auditioned for the X-Factor. They would have only known that Olly had got through to the live shows in August which is roughly four months before the wedding. Can you really change the date of a £45,000 winter-themed wedding that close to the date? Especially knowing that there was a large chance that Olly would get voted out before then.

Ben should not have sold his brother out in an article calling his brother a sell-out. I can understand his feelings and how hurt he is with everything but he shouldn't have gone to the press. He shouldn't have complained about the rest of his family either.

But the very least that Olly could have done was to call his brother on his wedding day and send his best wishes. There was quite a big deal about "oh no, poor Olly, missing his brother's wedding, evil Simon Cowell" at the time. If Olly really had been that bothered about it he should have contacted his brother on the day and not just given a shout out on TV.

If what's written is true there's been a rift for 8 months. The only reason that the papers are covering it now is because Olly has a single out next week. Being the cynic that I am I think it's any opportunity to raise Olly's profile and remind people of who he is.

They really should keep these sort of matters private though.

[Winterlight]

I don't know what happened with Olly Mur, but his brother selling his complaints to a tabloid is incredibly tasteless. He should never have aired family problems in the press.

[NestHolder]

Eh.  It all sounds a bit grim, although I think any tabloid story needs to have at least 20% of the Terrible Pain subtracted...  But I really don't see that the bride and groom could have changed their wedding date once they knew the twin brother wouldn't be able to make it, any more than the X-Factor competitor could have changed the semi-final date.  Churches and reception venues get booked up months and months in advance—years, sometimes.  If it had been my wedding and my twin was on telly that night, I'd have had a big screen brought in at the reception so all the family and guests could watch together and cheer—and it surely can't have been *impossible* for the competing twin to have managed a phone call at some point during the day, or even a shout-out to his bridegroom brother on the show.

Silly boys.

[Bright]

If anyone is interested http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2009/11/01/olly-to-miss-his-twin-s-wedding-115875-21788638/  is the main article which was published at the time of the wedding (although I think that one's a month before the actual wedding).

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1233679/X-Factor-Olly-Murs-banned-twin-brothers-wedding-Scrooge-Simon-Cowell.html - was published right after the wedding.

Both tell a completely different story as to what's being told now. 

[Shortcake]

I wonder what really happened?  Maybe both articles are untrue. These articles said there was no argument, and that Olly had asked to go to the wedding. The 2nd article said Olly was on speaker phone during the wedding.

On the article in the OP there was a video interview of  Ben saying the same thing that article said about Olly hurting him, and how X Factor tore his family apart etc.............

Most likely there is a little truth in both articles. Maybe there wasn't a disagreement before the wedding, but somehow Ben had started to resent his brother's fame and started to get jealous at all the attention Olly was getting.

No matter what really happened, it was tacky and tasteless of Ben to air his family's dirty laundry in a tabloid!

[Wonderflonium]

OK, before I read all the responses, I have to say, I love her wedding dress!