Unless there is something else in the context of a post that seems like the poster is being dismissive, snarky or whatever...I think its often a valid question.
Sometimes people on this board give advice or make a suggestion that has me sitting there gap mouthed scratching my head. I do not thin its wrong to express that feeling. If someone can express agreement, and someone else can express disagreement, why can someone not express surprise/shock/etc?
I can see where it would be rude:
OP: Do I need to say please after asking for something?
P: I CANNOT believe someone would think you wouldn't!!! Are you serious??? I am dumbfounded.
That to me is rude, and I think the right thing to do is to report it, as it comes off as a personal attack.
However this type of thing:
OP: My mom stays too long when visiting my new baby, how should I handle this?
P: You should cut her off right now. No more contact, she does not deserve to see her grandchild. She is toxic!!!
PP: Are you serious? I am amazed at that sentiment. I could never imagining cutting off your own mother for this!
I don't think thats rude. I think thats a legitimate reaction to an OTT suggestion.
The debate here in this thread makes it obvious that there is no agreement on whether this is rude or not, so I don't see how self-policing comes in here. I am not going to police something I don't think is rude, and honestly would resent someone else trying to police something on which there is much disagreement on the rudeness factor.
I think we all have peeves on the board, and need to realize that we cannot make others conform to our posting preferences as long as they are within the rules.
I wholly disagree with you regarding the moderation of this board. I think it is fantastic, and in areas where it actually IS an issue (as opposed to something like this, which seems more like context and personal preference) they are very quick about acting. Its just that not everything one doesn't like about the board does require moderation,.....so if a response is expected for a non-rule issue on the board I am not sure that its top priority of even really needed.