Author Topic: making assumptions about family relationsships  (Read 59793 times)

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Larrabee

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Re: making assumptions about family relationsships
« Reply #90 on: August 24, 2011, 06:05:36 PM »


DH was at the mall with YDS when YDS was a baby ... and was complimented on his grandson. DH was 41 at the time. He had some trouble with that one.


That can be tricky to judge, there's an overlap, an age range where its entirely possible for you to be either the parent or grandparent of a young child. 

I know a girl who has a sibling younger than her own children, so her dad is grandpa to the two year old on his left knee and daddy to the 18 month old on his right knee!

Mopsy428

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Re: making assumptions about family relationsships
« Reply #91 on: August 24, 2011, 09:13:49 PM »
I had a friend whose mother was of Mexican heritage with a dark complexion. His father was a Caucasian American. My friend looked like his mother. Unfortunately, when we were in 3rd grade, his Mom died of lupus.  :( His father remarried, and his second wife is Caucasian. Many, many people assume that my friend was adopted. He didn't get offended, just smiled and explained the situation.

exitzero

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Re: making assumptions about family relationsships
« Reply #92 on: August 25, 2011, 10:47:15 AM »
I am the guardian of a man with Down Syndrome. I took him to the doctor a couple of weeks ago.

The nurse asked if I was his mother.


He's 60, I'm 50.

I think it's time to start coloring my hair again.   :(

Gumbysqueak

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Re: making assumptions about family relationsships
« Reply #93 on: August 25, 2011, 11:11:05 AM »
Our middle boy and girlfriend would get rude comments and nasty looks when they would take out babygumbysqueaks.  DH, middle boy, GF, baby and I went out to dinner.  We were waiting for our table and they were playing with the baby.  A snarky lady goes loudly to another lady, "teenage parents!"

Alas, DH has been called my father several times. 


Nora

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Re: making assumptions about family relationsships
« Reply #94 on: August 25, 2011, 11:42:09 AM »
I am the guardian of a man with Down Syndrome. I took him to the doctor a couple of weeks ago.

The nurse asked if I was his mother.


He's 60, I'm 50.

I think it's time to start coloring my hair again.   :(

Aaaw! You poor thing! I do have to say that many people, even professionals, have difficulty judging the age of people with Down syndrome.
Just because someone is offended that does not mean they are in the right.

exitzero

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Re: making assumptions about family relationsships
« Reply #95 on: August 25, 2011, 11:59:35 AM »
I am the guardian of a man with Down Syndrome. I took him to the doctor a couple of weeks ago.

The nurse asked if I was his mother.


He's 60, I'm 50.

I think it's time to start coloring my hair again.   :(

Aaaw! You poor thing! I do have to say that many people, even professionals, have difficulty judging the age of people with Down syndrome.

Yeah, he does look young. I tell him he is a "carrier"--he stays young while he makes everyone around him old!

bansidhe

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Re: making assumptions about family relationsships
« Reply #96 on: August 29, 2011, 04:03:56 AM »
I once offended someone because I was trying to tread carefully. I had just been introduced to a new member (NM) of my dog club, a petite redhead with the usual pale skin. Next to her was a large-framed, bi-racial girl, also very attractive. I asked, "Are you two family?" and she huffed angrily, "She's my daughter!" 

Rats. I lost a potential friend. I should have just kept my mouth shut.  ::)  Not to mention that NM probably thinks Im a racist of sorts.

"Family" is a slang term for "g@y." Could be she got so huffy because she thought you were suggesting she was in a romatic rel@tionship with her daughter. Or maybe she's just a crabby, easily offended person.  :-\

When my husband and I were younger, people were forever assuming that we were siblings. We do look vaguely alike.

A rel@tionship assumption that left me open-mouthed actually involved someone becoming confused enough to flat-out ask in a very rude manner, rather than assuming. This happened to a friend of a friend. He and his wife are white and there is an approximately 20-year age difference between the two of them. They have adopted two foster children who are of two different races - neither of them white. The family went out to eat one night and upon approaching their table, their waitress stopped and gawked at them for a minute, then demanded, "I don't get this whole dynamic here. Who's related to who?"  :o
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Mental Magpie

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Re: making assumptions about family relationsships
« Reply #97 on: August 29, 2011, 10:17:39 AM »
I once offended someone because I was trying to tread carefully. I had just been introduced to a new member (NM) of my dog club, a petite redhead with the usual pale skin. Next to her was a large-framed, bi-racial girl, also very attractive. I asked, "Are you two family?" and she huffed angrily, "She's my daughter!" 

Rats. I lost a potential friend. I should have just kept my mouth shut.  ::)  Not to mention that NM probably thinks Im a racist of sorts.

"Family" is a slang term for "g@y." Could be she got so huffy because she thought you were suggesting she was in a romatic rel@tionship with her daughter. Or maybe she's just a crabby, easily offended person.  :-\

When my husband and I were younger, people were forever assuming that we were siblings. We do look vaguely alike.

A rel@tionship assumption that left me open-mouthed actually involved someone becoming confused enough to flat-out ask in a very rude manner, rather than assuming. This happened to a friend of a friend. He and his wife are white and there is an approximately 20-year age difference between the two of them. They have adopted two foster children who are of two different races - neither of them white. The family went out to eat one night and upon approaching their table, their waitress stopped and gawked at them for a minute, then demanded, "I don't get this whole dynamic here. Who's related to who?"  :o

Wow, the gall.  I cannot pretend that I might not have snapped back with, "There is no need for you to "get it"," followed by a blank stare.
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Brentwood

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Re: making assumptions about family relationsships
« Reply #98 on: August 30, 2011, 12:57:46 PM »
It's interesting how many young women seem to get mistaken for their fathers' girlfriends, as opposed to sons being mistaken for their mothers' boyfriends.

BeeGee01

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Re: making assumptions about family relationsships
« Reply #99 on: August 30, 2011, 10:51:33 PM »
It's interesting how many young women seem to get mistaken for their fathers' girlfriends, as opposed to sons being mistaken for their mothers' boyfriends.

Ha, that has happened a few times to me and my son. 

The first time he was about 16, I was 39.  My husband (my kids step-dad), myself and my son were driving through the night to go get my girls who had been visiting my parents.  We stopped in a gas station about 2 in the morning and both my son and I were getting coffee.  We had walked into the gas station bantering back and forth about something.  We were arguing but in a joking, light-hearted way.  After a few minutes, the clerk said "Ya'll sound like me and my boyfriend, how long ya'll been dating."   My son looked over at the woman while he was stirring his coffee and said "Lady, you are giving me issues."  I just burst out laughing and about that time my husband walked in and asked what was so funny.

The second time is when son was a freshman in college, I had to take my MD, who was then about 7 or 8 to a specialist.  Son was home on spring break so he went along.  The doctor walked in and saw me and said, "you must be the mom, nice to meet you."  Then he looked over at son who was holding MD on his lap and the doctor said "This must be the.......father?"  He was very confused.  About that time all of us just started laughing and I said, no, no, no, that is my son. 

I have been told that I don't look my age, to the extent that I am 49 and get told I look to be in about my mid-30'.  Some people think it is great to look younger, but it has its drawbacks.  I have four kids, two in their mid-20's, two in HS.  All from my first marriage.  When I talk about having the older kids I get strange looks and I have gotten to the point where I just go ahead and say, "Yeah, I'm old enough, I'm 49."

I get tired of people thinking I had my oldest when I was 15. 


mrkitty

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Re: making assumptions about family relationsships
« Reply #100 on: April 13, 2012, 03:51:28 PM »
I have had situations where people assumed my husband was my father. While I was flattered, he certainly wasn't.  ::)
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Stranger

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Re: making assumptions about family relationsships
« Reply #101 on: April 13, 2012, 04:27:30 PM »
My best friend and I had daughters 2 days apart. When our gilrs were about a year old, we went on a shopping trip for which I used my twin stroller.

About 20 gazillion  ;D people asked me if the girls are twins. The kicker? One daughter is white, the other is not  ;D Initially I said "no, this one (pointing at DD) is mine and this one (pointing at friend) is my friend's". Later is was entertaining to exclaim "yes!" and watch the confusion dawn on the very person who asked the question.

My sisters are identical twins. They are in their 30s, and they are both intellectually disabled. They are also blond, blue-eyed beuaties. Both my children are blond with blue eyes, too. People often comment that I am very brave to have four children  :) I am only two years older than my sisters, lol!

laud_shy_girl

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Re: making assumptions about family relationsships
« Reply #102 on: April 13, 2012, 06:28:03 PM »
DH brother is 27 years younger than him and will be just under two when his niece/nephew finally gets here.

DH and I have been repeatedly mistaken for brother and sister and for some odd reason, German  :o We both have blond hair and blue eyes which is the only thing I can think it is. In fact even Germans think we are German. I had a very nice lady come up to me in the street and start asking directions in German. (I live in England)

On my 26Th birthday I had a lady ask if I was my BIL GF Mother. I was at a wedding so we were looking quite well turned out. she is 6 years younger than me. I was not happy.  :(
For too long, we've assumed that there is a single template for human nature, which is why we diagnose most deviations as disorders. But the reality is that there are many different kinds of minds. And that's a very good thing. - Jonah Lehrer

Piratelvr1121

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Re: making assumptions about family relationsships
« Reply #103 on: April 13, 2012, 06:39:20 PM »
When DH was in the Marines and showed my picture to his coworkers, some teased him for "robbing the cradle."   Only we're the same age. LOL  Funny thing is I don't get it as I think DH has a baby face, which is really evident when he's not sporting a beard, which he never did while in the corps.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Chip2

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Re: making assumptions about family relationsships
« Reply #104 on: May 15, 2012, 06:11:06 PM »
It's interesting how many young women seem to get mistaken for their fathers' girlfriends, as opposed to sons being mistaken for their mothers' boyfriends.

When I pick my SSon up from college we always stop for a decent lunch to just talk and unwind from the road. Usually there's no issues, but once a waitress got huffy with me, and treated my son kind of coolly. I came back from the restroom to find my son trying not to bust out laughing. He was wearing a t-shirt that read 'G*a*y? Fine by me!' and I was wearing a deep purple polo; apparently our demeanor when we entered the restaurant came across as romantic rather familial. The waitress told my son that he shouldn't be looking for a sugar daddy but should instead try to find somebody his own age. We got moved to another section and laughed about it all the way home.