I have a good friend, Katie, who's engaged to Sean, who's a friend but I don't know him quite as well. They have a two year old daughter. Their situation is pretty unusual, but not unheard of--Sean stays at home and takes care of Daughter, and Katie works full time. They both really prefer it this way--Sean is much more the 'caretaker' personality in their relationship, and Katie is very driven, tending to be a bit workaholic..I think they balance each other out really well! They're not rich, definitely have to save money, but it's important to them to have one of them at home with their daughter, at least till she starts school. They also don't have famiily around who'd be available to look after her.
But, it seems like because it's the woman who is working, people make all sorts of unflattering assumptions about Sean, like that he's just mooching off of Katie because he isn't working..he's at home taking care of the apartment and kid! I have had more than one person make a comment to me about how he should get a job, how can she let him just sit at home all day, and so on. It really burns me up..these are good people whose situation works for them, even though many people wouldn't like it.
I really don't like just letting these comments go, so I will 'interesting assumption' them, basically saying something like "Hmm, really? That's an assumption people probably wouldn't make if it were Katie staying at home!" or "From what I've seen, the situation works really well for them." I hope I'm not being rude in return, but the idea they might repeat this to Katie and Sean is really aggravating. If I am being rude, any suggestions for better things to say?