Has anyone said, "What happened to you the other night? We thought you were coming, but you didn't call or show up."
I think this all could end with just this one phone call directly addressing the situation.
She'll may say something insipid like, "I decided not to go out in the rain and ruin my new suede shoes."
And you can reply, "Well.....a lot of us were upset that you said you'd be there and then were a no show, especially given how you had been off the invite list for not RSVP'ing several times previously. You were given another chance and blew us off again."
She'll say, "Well, things come up, ya know? I'm not perfect (or some other such nonsense."
And you can reply, "I seems to me that, by putting forth so little effort to participate, you are already aware that this just isn't the group for you. That happens! Rather than trying to keep fitting a round peg in a square hole, let's just stop trying to make this work. I hope you'll find other activities that interest you more. Take care! Bye-bye."
No, we didn't contact her after her no-show as we decided to completely write her off. What's the most annoying is she sought out the event because she figured out she wasn't getting notified of any. Had she RSVP'd she was coming and didn't show, that would've been far less annoying that searching out the event two days prior, agreeing to come and bring a dish and then not even show.
I'm sure she may have some excuse, but rain isn't it!! lol We're in AZ, monsoon season doesnt' start for another month! lol
I do see your point, though. We will tell her if she asks. We're not going to instigate anything. I have a feeling she knows. I mean, could she be THAT clueless?