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  • May 24, 2017, 05:06:56 PM

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Author Topic: Ethics not Etiquette question... what is our opinion  (Read 1480 times)

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Re: Ethics not Etiquette question... what is our opinion
« Reply #15 on: May 02, 2017, 03:33:36 PM »
I agree with the consensus that there was nothing unethical about this situation in the slightest.  Everybody was honest, nobody had ulterior motives or manipulated the situation to get an undeserved freebie.  Everyone is fine.

Having said that, I can totally identify with your daughter.  At least, the younger me can.  I used to feel extremely uncomfortable with getting any freebies, no matter what the reason.  I don't really know why, but I did grow out of it. 

Just this past weekend we went to a nice steakhouse and the waiter asked if we had ever been there before.  We answered truthfully that we had been probably 10 times.  Then my husband quipped "we hated it the first 9 times but decided to give you a 10th chance".  It was obvious from his joking tone and our laughter that this was clearly a joke.  We love the place.  However, the waiter went with the joke and stated it was his job for the rest of the night to make our 10th visit be one that we would finally like.  He went way over the top bringing us extra dressings, special things from the kitchen etc.  We absolutely didn't expect any of this nor were we trying to get freebies, it was a complete joke, but we enjoyed it nonetheless and we told the waiter at the end that he had succeeded at finally pleasing us.   ;D  I think he enjoyed the joke as well, or at least he was very good at making us feel that he was enjoying it!  He got a nice tip.


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Re: Ethics not Etiquette question... what is our opinion
« Reply #16 on: May 02, 2017, 06:26:50 PM »
My DH and I do not agree with DD. DD ordered a full entrée and ate about a 5th. We paid the check with the removed entrée and tipped 20% on the full cost of the meal without the comp.

I think you were fine, and I totally agree with your logic.  Regarding your DD being more assertive about the pasta - if it really didn't matter to her if it wasn't well seasoned, then that's her choice.  No need to request a substitute unless it does matter.  I don't think the 20% discount in the fee (bought at Costco) matters, you've explained why her age was relevant to the story (you probably saved 10 posts of questions about that), and you all acted politely and appropriately.
"No matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Banzai


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Re: Ethics not Etiquette question... what is our opinion
« Reply #17 on: May 10, 2017, 02:41:18 PM »
When a restaurant offers a comp unasked, there's nothing unethical about accepting it. They'd doing it as a business decision, an investment in making you think "Well, the pasta wasn't so great that night, but they were really nice about it. Maybe we should give them another try." Even if you don't go back, they considered it a reasonable cost of doing business (and hopefully can use the feedback to improve the pasta). If I were a restauranteur, I'd rather comp one person who told me the pasta wasn't very good, than lose twenty customers who said nothing but never returned.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."


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Re: Ethics not Etiquette question... what is our opinion
« Reply #18 on: May 10, 2017, 04:02:12 PM »
The discount confuses things.  Ignore that. 


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Re: Ethics not Etiquette question... what is our opinion
« Reply #19 on: May 10, 2017, 06:02:54 PM »
My XH and I once went out with another couple to a fairly (for us) expensive seafood restaurant.  The husband of the other couple ended up ordering a burger (go figure) - when it came he took 1 bite and discover a piece of metal imbedded in the patty (turned out be a piece of the grill scrapper).  The restaurant comp'd the meal for the whole table, kept asking us if we wanted any more to drink or a dessert (all comp'd).  We thought it was all a bit over the top - I mean it was obviously wasn't intentional.

When it came time to leave, we mentally added up what the bill would have been and gave the waiter a good tip.  He was absolutely floored.  Our reasoning was that the service was excellent (over and above really) and that it was deserved.