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Author Topic: "I'm never shopping THERE again!" Share your story!  (Read 2625739 times)

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Slartibartfast

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Re: "I'm never shopping THERE again!" Share your story!
« Reply #4980 on: October 27, 2013, 12:33:19 AM »
There are many movies which, if one watches them edited, takes most of the fun out of viewing them, especially if they dub them with words that make little to no sense at all.  Not to mention, you can read their lips to know what was really said and often the dubbing voice is off enough to be distracting.

"I have had it with these Monday Friday snakes..."

The TV version was "I've had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plane!"  Which was totally not in the same voice at ALL but made me completely crack up anyway  :P

magician5

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Re: "I'm never shopping THERE again!" Share your story!
« Reply #4981 on: October 27, 2013, 01:51:41 PM »
I would think that if someone's sensibilities are offended by a movie, they should simply not watch it. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a buttercup!"

As for library books, the arrogance of someone deciding (with great concentration) what I should not read ... my mind boggles.
There is no 'way to peace.' Peace is the way.

Julian

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Re: "I'm never shopping THERE again!" Share your story!
« Reply #4982 on: October 27, 2013, 03:06:00 PM »
There are many movies which, if one watches them edited, takes most of the fun out of viewing them, especially if they dub them with words that make little to no sense at all.  Not to mention, you can read their lips to know what was really said and often the dubbing voice is off enough to be distracting.

"I have had it with these Monday Friday snakes..."

I once watched an edited version of Blazing Saddles.  The bean scene was completely pointless, as all it showed was the men eating dinner while shifting restlessly.  No sound effects.

I saw that version too, the first time I'd ever seen Blazing Saddles, and I'd been told how hilarious that scene was...  No, not so funny without the sounds.  (It was a TV broadcast, I have since seen it unedited.)

Out on the patio we'd sit,
And the humidity we'd breathe,
We'd watch the lightning crack over canefields
Laugh and think, this is Australia.

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Hillia

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Re: "I'm never shopping THERE again!" Share your story!
« Reply #4983 on: October 27, 2013, 04:58:00 PM »
I recently saw 'Sixteen Candles' on TV. The line where Samantha's sister tells her earnestly, 'You're being a bit of an...a$$h***' was changed to 'airhead'.  Didn't have quite the same ring.

The best, though, was the attempt to show 'Casino' on network TV.  That movie uses the F word, in all its forms, 428 times - an average of 2.4 times per minute.  Never mind the violence and some fairly explicit sex scenes.  Who thought that movie was a good idea on prime time?

siamesecat2965

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Re: "I'm never shopping THERE again!" Share your story!
« Reply #4984 on: October 27, 2013, 05:10:21 PM »
I recently saw 'Sixteen Candles' on TV. The line where Samantha's sister tells her earnestly, 'You're being a bit of an...a$$h***' was changed to 'airhead'.  Didn't have quite the same ring.

The best, though, was the attempt to show 'Casino' on network TV.  That movie uses the F word, in all its forms, 428 times - an average of 2.4 times per minute.  Never mind the violence and some fairly explicit sex scenes.  Who thought that movie was a good idea on prime time?

Or something like "Animal House" its crude, rude, crass, and hysterically funny. But there;s just so much that has to be edited out, doesn't seem worth it to show on network tv.

Thipu1

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Re: "I'm never shopping THERE again!" Share your story!
« Reply #4985 on: October 27, 2013, 06:46:43 PM »
How about 'The Commitments'? 

It's a wonderful film with great music but every other word seems to be what Evelyn Waugh described as 'that word which hiccoughs through a soldier's conversation'.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: "I'm never shopping THERE again!" Share your story!
« Reply #4986 on: October 27, 2013, 07:30:56 PM »
I can't remember how it was edited but that in "Ferris Beuller" there's a line where he says "Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his a**, in two weeks, you'd have a diamond."

I think "a**" was changed to a more innocent part of the body that would not provide enough pressure for a lump of coal to transform to a diamond.  And there was no swearing so it made no sense for Ferris to say "Pardon my French."
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Spring Water on Sundays

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Re: "I'm never shopping THERE again!" Share your story!
« Reply #4987 on: October 28, 2013, 09:01:34 AM »
I can't remember how it was edited but that in "Ferris Beuller" there's a line where he says "Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his a**, in two weeks, you'd have a diamond."

I think "a**" was changed to a more innocent part of the body that would not provide enough pressure for a lump of coal to transform to a diamond.  And there was no swearing so it made no sense for Ferris to say "Pardon my French."

I think the a-word was changed to "fist", if I'm remembering correctly.

The TV-friendly version of The Big Lebowski has the most epically entertaining clean-up job of all time in the scene where John Goodman is trashing the car: "You see what happens, Larry?! This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!"

pierrotlunaire0

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Re: "I'm never shopping THERE again!" Share your story!
« Reply #4988 on: October 28, 2013, 11:12:12 AM »
My favorite was back in the early 1970s, and the film, Secret Ceremony, was shown on network TV.  This obscure (and deservedly so) movie stars Liz Taylor as a prostitute who picks up a mentally challenged/insane Mia Farrow.  They engage in sexual role playing games, eventually with Robert Mitchum who may or may not have been Mia's father, and who may or may not have been Liz's former customer or lover.  One of those trendy movies where not much happens, and next to nothing makes sense.

So the network censors created a whole new movie, using outtakes and lots of voice over commentary to make Liz a hat model (?what?????), and Mia her long lost daughter (in the original, Mia does claim this, but then she is supposed to be insane; in this version, it is absolute fact).  Long scenes where the only soundtrack was the narrator talking on and on, desperately trying to make the movie be something it wasn't: coherent and G-rated.
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MommyPenguin

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Re: "I'm never shopping THERE again!" Share your story!
« Reply #4989 on: October 28, 2013, 11:31:10 AM »
I know some people who draw Sharpie "clothes" on naked figures in books (schoolbooks on history and geography, so pictures of the "National Geographic" type), or sometimes glue two pages together.  Some of them do it because they just absolutely don't want their kids looking at naked people.  But some do it because they know their kids, and that their kids would be so distracted looking at those pictures that they wouldn't get anything else from the topic.  I just purchased one of the main books that people have complained about, but I don't really have a problem with the level of nakedness.  There is a lot of war and gore, though, so I'll have to see how my oldest does with that (it's hard to study Babylon and Assyria without discussing violence).
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amyg

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Re: "I'm never shopping THERE again!" Share your story!
« Reply #4990 on: October 28, 2013, 03:54:32 PM »
The worst is when the subtitler of a foreign movie decides to clean up the language and the plot points. The English subtitles for the original film of LA FEMME NIKITA tried to make it seem as if the main character didn't take a complete stranger home for scrabble purposes. One subtitled version of the film DIVA tried to clean up all the curses and non-PC character names. And of course, if you didn't know any French, you wouldn't notice the discrepancy. I'm not fluent, but I certainly can tell when the dialogue and the subtitles don't match.

Slartibartfast

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Re: "I'm never shopping THERE again!" Share your story!
« Reply #4991 on: October 28, 2013, 06:33:34 PM »
The worst is when the subtitler of a foreign movie decides to clean up the language and the plot points. The English subtitles for the original film of LA FEMME NIKITA tried to make it seem as if the main character didn't take a complete stranger home for scrabble purposes. One subtitled version of the film DIVA tried to clean up all the curses and non-PC character names. And of course, if you didn't know any French, you wouldn't notice the discrepancy. I'm not fluent, but I certainly can tell when the dialogue and the subtitles don't match.

An American friend of mine spent a year teaching English in Japan around the time "Blair Witch Project" came out.  She said the best part of the film was when one of the main characters was stumbling around the woods hearing spooky sounds and yelling "Oh F$@# oh F$@# oh F$@#!" and the Japanese subtitles read "Where is it?  Where is it?"

o_gal

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Re: "I'm never shopping THERE again!" Share your story!
« Reply #4992 on: October 29, 2013, 06:33:38 AM »
Could a spinoff thread be made about all the subtitling and censoring please? Thanks!

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: "I'm never shopping THERE again!" Share your story!
« Reply #4993 on: October 29, 2013, 11:53:26 AM »
There are many movies which, if one watches them edited, takes most of the fun out of viewing them, especially if they dub them with words that make little to no sense at all.  Not to mention, you can read their lips to know what was really said and often the dubbing voice is off enough to be distracting.

"I have had it with these Monday Friday snakes..."

The TV version was "I've had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plane!"  Which was totally not in the same voice at ALL but made me completely crack up anyway  :P

Hold on. Can there be a movie about snakes who fight monkeys? Can that be a thing? I would so see that movie!

On the subject of commenting on purchases, I was once picking up a copy of True Blood and the cashier asked if I'd seen some Swedish movie that was like the jumping off point for all the vampire flicks (can't remember it now, too bad because it sounded awesome), I said I hadn't and he said it was really good so I said "Sounds like I have another movie for my must watch list!", with like a huge smile and he responds "Well, you don't have to do anything you don't want to" like he was upset that I'd said I had to see it. He shoved my movie in the bag and grunted and sent me on my way. What the what? You recommend a movie to me and I act excited about and I'm the bad guy? Geeze lousie. You can't win for loosing.

Iris

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Re: "I'm never shopping THERE again!" Share your story!
« Reply #4994 on: October 30, 2013, 01:49:14 AM »
There are many movies which, if one watches them edited, takes most of the fun out of viewing them, especially if they dub them with words that make little to no sense at all.  Not to mention, you can read their lips to know what was really said and often the dubbing voice is off enough to be distracting.

"I have had it with these Monday Friday snakes..."

The TV version was "I've had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plane!"  Which was totally not in the same voice at ALL but made me completely crack up anyway  :P

Hold on. Can there be a movie about snakes who fight monkeys? Can that be a thing? I would so see that movie!

On the subject of commenting on purchases, I was once picking up a copy of True Blood and the cashier asked if I'd seen some Swedish movie that was like the jumping off point for all the vampire flicks (can't remember it now, too bad because it sounded awesome), I said I hadn't and he said it was really good so I said "Sounds like I have another movie for my must watch list!", with like a huge smile and he responds "Well, you don't have to do anything you don't want to" like he was upset that I'd said I had to see it. He shoved my movie in the bag and grunted and sent me on my way. What the what? You recommend a movie to me and I act excited about and I'm the bad guy? Geeze lousie. You can't win for loosing.

Was it "Let the Right One In"? I know DD is pretty excited about it, but I don't watch horror. Or suspense. Or gore. I'm a big wuss :)
"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

Poirot thought you could, but forebore to say so.