"I'm never shopping THERE again!" Share your story!

[CakeBeret]

I mean this in the kindest possible way, but in instances 1 - 3, you may have been the victim of well-done steak phenomenon.  This is not to say that you deserved bad service or food, but there's a pretty simple reason that this would happen. 

In the service industry, 9 times out of 10, a person ordering a well done steak is a specific "type" of customer to both the kitchen and the waitstaff.   The chef thinks you are low-brow for "ruining" a good cut of meat--the perception being you have an unrefined pallet, the waitress thinks you are not used to eating out or you wouldn't order your food well done which equals bad tip.  The chef and the waitress KNOW that people who order well done food are the most likely to complain and send it back for being over or undercooked because people have a very wide range of what they consider "well-done"---some people literally believe "well" translates to "good."  The chef and the waitress have to time their work to cater to your one item that does not take the same amount of time to cook as the others for the table, so they KNOW that you are more  likely to send back the other food for being too cold.  It is not nice to stereotype, but there's certainly one out there about the well done crowd.

On your first visit, you pegged yourself as THAT "well-done" steak customer, so my guess is that the hair the second time was not a mistake.  Just like you remembered all your bad situations at this restaurant, they probably remember you being a difficult customer.  As for your 4th story, customers with kids who get free refills generally are going to be at the bottom of the waitresses priorities.  It simply doesn't make sense to cater to a family of four whose bill is going to be less than a party of two who are most likely running up their bill with alcoholic drinks.  The party of four will be more work and a bigger mess, it's simple economy when one depends on tips for a living.

I want to reassert that I am not saying you shouldn't expect good service or food, but as long as servers depend on tips to earn a living, they will judge each and every table by how much they think they will get as a tip and service accordingly. 

So asking for a well-done steak is setting oneself up for failure? I'm sorry, I can't get behind that idea. People like well-done steak for a variety of reasons and to blatantly discriminate against those people is IMO silly and self-defeating.

And while refilling kids' sodas may not be as profitable as selling martinis, it is part of a waitstaff's job. I can assure you that if a server got snippy and/or avoided my table because I had children with me and s/he felt that free kids' drinks were below them, I would tip very low. If, however, the server kept both the kids' and the adults' beverages filled and provided good service, I would tip more than normal for the hassle. A server in the first situation would be lucky to get $6 on a $50 bill, while I would probably tip a server in the second situation $10-15.

I really think that the bolded is just poor service and, again, self-defeating. Sometimes I may order things that would suggest I'm a tightwad (basic entree and just water to drink), but if I receive great service, I tip accordingly. For my birthday I received a coupon for a free entree at a restaurant. My friend and I went, split the entree, and ordered waters; we accrued a $0 bill. The busy waitress could *easily* have neglected us. Instead she was fantastic, keeping our waters filled, bringing condiments, checking on our table and generally providing excellent service. The check would have been $10 but since we had my coupon, we did not owe anything. We left a $5 tip. If she had treated us according to what we ordered (i.e. no refills and little service, since we were getting a free meal) I would only have left $1.

[DottyG]

Sometimes I may order things that would suggest I'm a tightwad (basic entree and just water to drink), but if I receive great service, I tip accordingly.

You do.  But not everyone does.  In fact, I'm wondering if you (and probably most of the EHellions) might be in the minority there in the masses.

[Mental Magpie]

I can safely say I never did that as a waitress. Everyone got the exact same service from me. Not all are like that.

I think it would be incredibly hard to put aside ALL prejudgement and treat every customer exactly the same.  Sure, it would be "nice," but when one gets busy and has to juggle their tables, it's simple psychology that one would use simple cost/benefit psychology to assess the biggest payoff for effort exerted.  Refilling toddlers free sodas or up-selling a single customer to a $15 martini that costs more than the child's entire meal....hmmm, that's a tough choice.

I'm sorry that is difficult for you to grasp, but I can assure you I have no difficulty in doing so. It may be why I do not find it hard in my current job to treat the murderers any differently than I do the burglars or thieves. I do not go into "cost analysis mode", I go into "logic mode" where all I see is that I am there to do my job to the best of my ability and where nothing else matters.

[twiggy]

Honestly, if I encountered a restaurant where the waitstaff felt it was appropriate to ignore my family because we're not downing multiple pricey bar drinks, I would "never shop THERE again!"

On a more serious note, I probably won't shop at Kohls again. Everyone raves about them, but I've had terrible trouble with them. Years ago I left a bad relationship, and as part of moving on, I went out and got myself a few new outfits. They were very different from what I normally wore, and I was sort of reinventing myself. When I got home, I saw the pair of shorts I bought had huge holes in both pockets, and 2 of the tops fell apart the first time I washed them. A couple years ago, when DD was a baby, I received a gift from Kohls that was the wrong size. I had to return it, and the return policy was surprisingly easy. So I decided to try them again. I bought her a couple dresses and they held up fairly well. Last year, I bough a bunch of shirts that fell apart again. Within the past few months, Baby got a sleeper as a gift. The second time he wore it, two of the snaps just popped off. It was a bit big, so I can't explain why that happened.
We got a Nativity snow globe style ornament this past Christmas, and the globe fell off, leaving the Holy Family to plummet to their doom
I've come to the conclusion that I attract all the Kohls defects, leaving wonderfulness for everyone else

[ladyknight1]

I know two people who always order their steaks well-done and never order anything to drink but water. When dining with them, I have not noticed a different attitude from the server.

We do get asked if we want a kids menu for DS, who is 14 and over 6' tall. He has been eating off the adult menu for four years.

[Outdoor Girl]

If you, as a chef or restaurant, don't want to do a steak well-done, then don't offer it that way.  Friends went to a fine dining place and one of the girls ordered a particular cut well done.  The chef came out to talk to her and let her know that he couldn't do that particular cut well done, technically wise and 'morally' wise.  He talked to her about other cuts she could order that he would be willing to make well done.

[chigrrl1]

I mean this in the kindest possible way, but in instances 1 - 3, you may have been the victim of well-done steak phenomenon.  This is not to say that you deserved bad service or food, but there's a pretty simple reason that this would happen. 

In the service industry, 9 times out of 10, a person ordering a well done steak is a specific "type" of customer to both the kitchen and the waitstaff.   The chef thinks you are low-brow for "ruining" a good cut of meat--the perception being you have an unrefined pallet, the waitress thinks you are not used to eating out or you wouldn't order your food well done which equals bad tip.  The chef and the waitress KNOW that people who order well done food are the most likely to complain and send it back for being over or undercooked because people have a very wide range of what they consider "well-done"---some people literally believe "well" translates to "good."  The chef and the waitress have to time their work to cater to your one item that does not take the same amount of time to cook as the others for the table, so they KNOW that you are more  likely to send back the other food for being too cold.  It is not nice to stereotype, but there's certainly one out there about the well done crowd.

On your first visit, you pegged yourself as THAT "well-done" steak customer, so my guess is that the hair the second time was not a mistake.  Just like you remembered all your bad situations at this restaurant, they probably remember you being a difficult customer.  As for your 4th story, customers with kids who get free refills generally are going to be at the bottom of the waitresses priorities.  It simply doesn't make sense to cater to a family of four whose bill is going to be less than a party of two who are most likely running up their bill with alcoholic drinks.  The party of four will be more work and a bigger mess, it's simple economy when one depends on tips for a living.

I want to reassert that I am not saying you shouldn't expect good service or food, but as long as servers depend on tips to earn a living, they will judge each and every table by how much they think they will get as a tip and service accordingly. 

So asking for a well-done steak is setting oneself up for failure? I'm sorry, I can't get behind that idea. People like well-done steak for a variety of reasons and to blatantly discriminate against those people is IMO silly and self-defeating.

And while refilling kids' sodas may not be as profitable as selling martinis, it is part of a waitstaff's job. I can assure you that if a server got snippy and/or avoided my table because I had children with me and s/he felt that free kids' drinks were below them, I would tip very low. If, however, the server kept both the kids' and the adults' beverages filled and provided good service, I would tip more than normal for the hassle. A server in the first situation would be lucky to get $6 on a $50 bill, while I would probably tip a server in the second situation $10-15.

I really think that the bolded is just poor service and, again, self-defeating. Sometimes I may order things that would suggest I'm a tightwad (basic entree and just water to drink), but if I receive great service, I tip accordingly. For my birthday I received a coupon for a free entree at a restaurant. My friend and I went, split the entree, and ordered waters; we accrued a $0 bill. The busy waitress could *easily* have neglected us. Instead she was fantastic, keeping our waters filled, bringing condiments, checking on our table and generally providing excellent service. The check would have been $10 but since we had my coupon, we did not owe anything. We left a $5 tip. If she had treated us according to what we ordered (i.e. no refills and little service, since we were getting a free meal) I would only have left $1.

RE: Bolded #1:Google "people who like well-done steak" and see what pops up.  People who order their food that way are perceived as unsophisticated and consequently cheap.  Just because it is not "nice," doesn't mean it doesn't impact your server and chef's perception and treatment of you.
RE: Bolded #2 10 or $15 on a $50 tab with running free refills is not generous.  Not. at. all.  Do you expect a server to be grateful that you tipped the usual 20% and had to clean up the huge mess of cheerios and chewed sugar packets that your child left behind?  Anyone in their right mind would prefer 2 adult customers who would run up the same tab and leave the same 20%, without the hassle of providing crayons, endless sodas and acting patient while the customer's child learns to say "chicken nuggets."   Serving tables with children is generally more work for less pay.

Again, I'm not saying that customers should not get good service because they have children or order things a certain way, I'm saying that as long as people work for tips, they are going to pre-judge who is actually going to pay them the most for their effort.

[twiggy]

perhaps we can agree to disagree and move on with the never shopping there stories....

[chigrrl1]

If you, as a chef or restaurant, don't want to do a steak well-done, then don't offer it that way.  Friends went to a fine dining place and one of the girls ordered a particular cut well done.  The chef came out to talk to her and let her know that he couldn't do that particular cut well done, technically wise and 'morally' wise.  He talked to her about other cuts she could order that he would be willing to make well done.

Agreed. Otherwise you end up with the chef saving the bad cuts of meat for the well doners, who they don't think will notice the difference.

[afbluebelle]

Unnamed Florist in Midwestern state. My stepdad's mom recently passed away, and I was ordering flowers to be sent to the funeral. The lady answering the phone seemed really irritated that I didn't know how to pronounce the local road names (German roots, so not how the word looked). She also got all grumpy that I didn't know that gladiolas were out of season. I don't live in Illinois, I'm never going to live there in the near future, and I don't know what the available flowers are for your shop. I just picked something off the website that you made.

It's okay though. The saleslady asked what I wanted on the card, and I asked what she recommended. He first suggestion was "Best Wishes". I got a good chuckle out of that after I hung up.

[Mediancat]

Sometimes I may order things that would suggest I'm a tightwad (basic entree and just water to drink), but if I receive great service, I tip accordingly.

You do.  But not everyone does.  In fact, I'm wondering if you (and probably most of the EHellions) might be in the minority there in the masses.

It doesn't matter, though. If I'm treated less well because of a server's bad experiences with previous customers who fit my demographic, then the server is doing a bad job. I am not the customers before me.

Rob

[Wulfie]

hey guys, lets stop the attacks before this thread gets shut down.

[Reika]

One of the local Kia dealerships.  Our older car was slowly dying and so mom talked me into using our tax returns to get a better car. She had her heart set on Kia Soul, even though I warned her it looked like it be out of our budget.

Well, the salesman takes us on a test drive, or rather has mom take the test drive and shoves me in the back even though I'm the second driver and co-payer of said car. After the test drive, he then tries to get us to take the car at over $150 above our maximum budget. I wanted to ask "What part of maximum budget do you not understand?" but remembered my eHell training and just firmly, but politely, said, "That won't be possible. I saw cars that were more in our range, can we talk about them?"

But for some reason none of the less expensive cars were available.

The next day we went to a family owned used car lot and got this awesome gently-used Toyota Corolla. I think I'm sold on Toyotas for the rest of my life.

[guihong]

I wish I didn't have to deal with our gas company.

Two days ago, we came home to find a tag on our door-the gas company needed access to repair something having to do with reading their meter.  They had come around, but we weren't home.  I called the number on the tag, only to be given three different numbers that each person told me was the "right" one  .  The best of those was located in Houston, Texas-nine hours or so from my house.  I finally got the right number, fiddled around the automated directions, and a voice told me they were very busy and could they call me back.  They did so about 25 minutes later, and then the person I was talking to put me on hold for about 10-15 minutes  .  We finally made an "appointment" for today, between 8-5.  I had to give up a sub job to stay home all day waiting for the gas man, for what we were told was a 15 minute process.  It took us longer than that to make the appointment!

Of course, it's 4PM and no gas person.  I could have worked after all.  I did get a lot of cleaning done, but if they don't come within an hour, I'm not calling back.  I'm going to work and let them stew.  I really hate that.

[padua]

i took my children to a fairly new pediatrician. i have a 5month old and an 18month old. they were both there for a wellness check on friday. both babies have been tugging on their ears when they're tired, so i asked him to check their ears 'just in case.' he did. no problems noted.

saturday my 5month old had a fever, was whimpery and gagged on a mucus ball.   my poor baby! i called the oncall nurse and she said to bring her in. i paid my $35 copay and the doctor saw her. he didn't appear too concerned until i mentioned the whimpering. he then checked her ears- and found they were too waxy to determine whether or not she had an infection. so he cleaned out one of them, and sure enough! she had an infection. he wouldn't clean or inspect the second ear.

he then told me she had accumulated that much wax in BOTH ears... overnight.

his bedside manner also leaves much to be desired. he chewed us out for electing not to give our 18month old the chicken pox vaccination, although we assured him if our son got to be an adolescent without getting chicken pox, we would innoculate him then. i get tired of being lectured about which vaccines we choose to give our children- we're selective and thoughtful about the process, yet it seems as if the doctor feels we're excessively negligent. each time we go in to see that doctor we get a lecture on it. he also lectured me the first time i brought my daughter in for not getting her the vaccine that prevents diahrrea. he then looked at his notes and said: 'oh- she's already too old for it.' he again lectured us this time for not giving it to her, despite her now being two months older than the first time he said she was too old for it.

he also checked out the 5month old with the stethescope. my son was interested and patted his little chest so the doctor would put the stethescope on his tummy as well. the doctor grunted and asked me what he wanted. i told him he wanted to have the doctor use the stethescope on him. the doctor said: "oh." then moved on to the best item of business. i know he didn't HAVE to cater to my son's whims. but it would have been a good opportunity to get him acquainted to medical tools and thereby reduce anxiety the next time he goes in. bah- maybe i was exasperated because of all the transpired beforehand. he just didn't seem good at his job.

sadly, with our health insurance, it was hard enough finding THIS doctor.