I just got home.
I went up there and they said they got ahold of yesterday's clerk, she said that I had not paid. Y'all would be proud of my spine through this whole ordeal. I said "That is completely untrue. Let's call the owner." She got the owner on the phone, I told him my side of the story.
Apparently, they don't even dryclean on the weekends.
They send their drycleaning offsite, and it doesn't get sent out on weekends. So when I reiterated to the owner that the clerk had offered an hour-and-a-half turnaround, on a Saturday, he said "That's not right." and immediately offered me a refund. He offered to send the bag out for cleaning Monday. I declined and said I'd rather just take it home.
So there is clearly some sort of scam going.
He told me to have today's clerk give me my bag plus the refund. I handed the phone back to the clerk, and she talked to the owner for a minute, then hung up and started wandering around the laundromat avoiding me. I finally got her attention, she said that the owner was going to call the other clerk and call back. Fine, I would wait. The owner called back, the clerk got huffy, slammed the bag on the counter and said "There." I said very politely that the owner had promised me a refund. The clerk said she'd have to call the owner back. Fine. So she called him, apparently he told her to give me the refund. She went from surly to downright hostile as she started gathering the money. Told me "Take it to X Cleaner next time, they'll charge you 50 bucks, and I guess we'll have to eat the cost of this."
So, yeah, definitely never darkening their door again.