Author Topic: "Is there an etiquette question here?"  (Read 22148 times)

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think2x

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Re: "Is there an etiquette question here?"
« Reply #30 on: September 20, 2010, 11:26:08 AM »
It has annoyed me to see it; but, most recently, on the 'comfortable shoe' thread where OP clearly posted in the wrong folder by mistake, to read it after such helpful replies was so abrupt that I was really taken aback. I thought it was really rude and unnecessary. Felt like a glass of cold water in the face.


Morticia

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Re: "Is there an etiquette question here?"
« Reply #31 on: September 26, 2010, 12:05:32 PM »
Personally, I would feel comfortable if that question was only ever asked by mods. If you think something is a rant, shouldn't you let them decide? After all, aren't they the question police? I think if one wishes the question asked, one should press the report button and let the PTBs decide.
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Wendy Moira Angela Pan

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Re: "Is there an etiquette question here?"
« Reply #32 on: September 28, 2010, 05:01:37 PM »
The mods are the arbiters of what is acceptable, but they expect us to gently remind people of the rules when we see them broken.

C0mputerGeek

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Re: "Is there an etiquette question here?"
« Reply #33 on: September 28, 2010, 09:19:39 PM »
I agree with Shores. I can only recall having seen the question in threads that were more about ranting than a productive discussion. For the people who think it sounds snotty, is there another phrasing that sounds more polite?

Oh, I have totally seen this question raised in threads where the OP posted a situational example that was clearly not a rant. I remember because the "is there a question," was phrased so rudely that I reported the person who did it.

GoldenGemini

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Re: "Is there an etiquette question here?"
« Reply #34 on: September 28, 2010, 09:48:14 PM »
I agree with Shores. I can only recall having seen the question in threads that were more about ranting than a productive discussion. For the people who think it sounds snotty, is there another phrasing that sounds more polite?

Oh, I have totally seen this question raised in threads where the OP posted a situational example that was clearly not a rant. I remember because the "is there a question," was phrased so rudely that I reported the person who did it.

Me too.  I haven't actually seen it used in a ranty thread, but maybe it was phrased differently and went over my head! 

When I have seen it used, in the Coffee Break folder, it totally came off as snotty.  Someone had asked a question about something to do with kids or fitness equipment I think, and the first response was this. Exactly as phrased in the heading.  No other words on the post.  That did sound off, I'm afraid.


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C0mputerGeek

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Re: "Is there an etiquette question here?"
« Reply #35 on: September 29, 2010, 12:01:46 AM »
Telling a "story" with no dilemma and an overly obvious etiquette blunder does not start discussions, just trash-talking. I don't really see the point of "No question, just a story" posts. Why not post them in the off-topic folders instead of the areas specifically designed for advice?

Here are several threads that I created. They have no question, but are most certainly not rants or trash-talking:
Pushed Aside
Talking smack at the bank
Bus and Train Happenings
Strangeness in the Elevator
Next Time, I Know to Ask

They were not posted in the off-topic folder because they are not off-topic.

Shores

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Re: "Is there an etiquette question here?"
« Reply #36 on: September 29, 2010, 08:50:43 AM »
Telling a "story" with no dilemma and an overly obvious etiquette blunder does not start discussions, just trash-talking. I don't really see the point of "No question, just a story" posts. Why not post them in the off-topic folders instead of the areas specifically designed for advice?

Here are several threads that I created. They have no question, but are most certainly not rants or trash-talking:
Pushed Aside
Talking smack at the bank
Bus and Train Happenings
Strangeness in the Elevator
Next Time, I Know to Ask

They were not posted in the off-topic folder because they are not off-topic.
Yes, I see them. Did you want my personal opinion on each thread? I made my opinion clear. I don't see the value of in these types of threads and I do see posting JUST to point out some random person's bad behaviour is slightly "trash-talking." Generally, I just skip these or if I find them particularly off, I report them and go on my merry way. But obviously, I did not feel the need to ask what your question was in any of these threads, although I didn't read enough to see if anyone else did.
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MsMarjorie

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Re: "Is there an etiquette question here?"
« Reply #37 on: September 29, 2010, 08:47:10 PM »
Telling a "story" with no dilemma and an overly obvious etiquette blunder does not start discussions, just trash-talking. I don't really see the point of "No question, just a story" posts. Why not post them in the off-topic folders instead of the areas specifically designed for advice?

Here are several threads that I created. They have no question, but are most certainly not rants or trash-talking:
Pushed Aside
Talking smack at the bank
Bus and Train Happenings
Strangeness in the Elevator
Next Time, I Know to Ask

They were not posted in the off-topic folder because they are not off-topic.
Yes, I see them. Did you want my personal opinion on each thread? I made my opinion clear. I don't see the value of in these types of threads and I do see posting JUST to point out some random person's bad behaviour is slightly "trash-talking." Generally, I just skip these or if I find them particularly off, I report them and go on my merry way. But obviously, I did not feel the need to ask what your question was in any of these threads, although I didn't read enough to see if anyone else did.

I think other e-hell users found them interesting though as some of the discussions went on for a few pages.  I find that an open discussion about points of etiquette that do (or don't) happen in our day to day life equip me with skills to handle them.  I enjoy both the stories and the question related stories - both always have something to teach me.

cass2591

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Re: "Is there an etiquette question here?"
« Reply #38 on: September 29, 2010, 08:55:07 PM »
Quote
Yes, I see them. Did you want my personal opinion on each thread? I made my opinion clear. I don't see the value of in these types of threads and I do see posting JUST to point out some random person's bad behaviour is slightly "trash-talking." Generally, I just skip these or if I find them particularly off, I report them and go on my merry way. But obviously, I did not feel the need to ask what your question was in any of these threads, although I didn't read enough to see if anyone else did. 

I think your last sentence was rather mean. You essentially told her they were uninteresting to you, which I don't really think is necessary. You made your point, why the dig?
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SiotehCat

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Re: "Is there an etiquette question here?"
« Reply #39 on: September 29, 2010, 08:58:20 PM »
Telling a "story" with no dilemma and an overly obvious etiquette blunder does not start discussions, just trash-talking. I don't really see the point of "No question, just a story" posts. Why not post them in the off-topic folders instead of the areas specifically designed for advice?

Here are several threads that I created. They have no question, but are most certainly not rants or trash-talking:
Pushed Aside
Talking smack at the bank
Bus and Train Happenings
Strangeness in the Elevator
Next Time, I Know to Ask

They were not posted in the off-topic folder because they are not off-topic.
Yes, I see them. Did you want my personal opinion on each thread? I made my opinion clear. I don't see the value of in these types of threads and I do see posting JUST to point out some random person's bad behaviour is slightly "trash-talking." Generally, I just skip these or if I find them particularly off, I report them and go on my merry way. But obviously, I did not feel the need to ask what your question was in any of these threads, although I didn't read enough to see if anyone else did.

I have to agree with this.

Wordgeek

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Re: "Is there an etiquette question here?"
« Reply #40 on: September 29, 2010, 09:38:05 PM »
Ehell is a big place.  To expect every single posting to be of personal interest and meet your personal approval is pretty self-centered. 

As for etiquette questions, the on-topic area is meant to be on topic.  Sometimes a germane post will have a specific question, sometimes it'll raise an interesting issue.  A rant is when someone is posting merely to vent frustration rather than to discuss the situation.  And when someone responds in a less than stellar way (as in the above *I* don't see the value blah blah blah), use your judgment.  Respond yourself or report it to the mods, whichever is more appropriate.

Shores

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Re: "Is there an etiquette question here?"
« Reply #41 on: September 29, 2010, 10:09:15 PM »
Quote
Yes, I see them. Did you want my personal opinion on each thread? I made my opinion clear. I don't see the value of in these types of threads and I do see posting JUST to point out some random person's bad behaviour is slightly "trash-talking." Generally, I just skip these or if I find them particularly off, I report them and go on my merry way. But obviously, I did not feel the need to ask what your question was in any of these threads, although I didn't read enough to see if anyone else did. 

I think your last sentence was rather mean. You essentially told her they were uninteresting to you, which I don't really think is necessary. You made your point, why the dig?
I do apologize if it came off as a dig; it was not intended to do so. As I was posting that I had not felt the need to point out that there was no question, it occurred to me that someone could respond "yes, but another poster did on page 4" or something to that effect. I was merely trying to throw in a disclaimer that I could not speak to what anyone else did in response to the threads as I did not have time to look through them all at that moment.

And in my defense, it is not that I find these threads "uninteresting" persay; it's that I personally find threads that simply relate other people's rudeness to be just this side of mean. It's fine that other people don't; that's why we can choose what to read. But I don't find them boring, just not in the spirit in which I personally enjoy E-hell.
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rose red

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Re: "Is there an etiquette question here?"
« Reply #42 on: September 30, 2010, 10:02:29 AM »
I don't like that question either, especially if it's posted by newcomers who seemed to sign up just to scold.  When I first discovered Ehell, there were lots of stories without questions but nowadays, I noticed many people seem afraid to post without one.  A lot of the questions seem tacked on to make it seem "legitimate."  Like "Oh yeah, by the way my question is..."

Scuba_Dog

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Re: "Is there an etiquette question here?"
« Reply #43 on: September 30, 2010, 10:22:43 AM »
Why do we assume the worst about someone who is asking what the etiquette question is?  How can any of us know, without hearing tone, if the person asking the question is being snarky? 

How can we be certain that the person asking really doesn't see the etiquette question and is just asking what it is, so they could also offer advice and participate in the discussion from that angle? 

Wouldn't it be more polite to assume the best of the person and offer assistance in finding their answer or simply saying it was just the sharing of a story?

I think it's pretty uncharitable to automatically label the person who asks what the etiquette question is, as being rude, snarky or the reason that apparently some people don't post in the question threads anymore.

I always thought that the folders in the General Etiquette section were for etiquette questions & advice seeking for etiquette dilemmas.  I thought the main site was where people submitted stories for review and discussion. 

I'm not saying people shouldn't post stories in these areas but I *do* think it's understandable when someone asks what the question is or if there is one, especially if it's in those folders.  Why not just assume the best, answer the question and move on? 

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Re: "Is there an etiquette question here?"
« Reply #44 on: September 30, 2010, 10:51:06 AM »
Why do we assume the worst about someone who is asking what the etiquette question is?  How can any of us know, without hearing tone, if the person asking the question is being snarky? 

How can we be certain that the person asking really doesn't see the etiquette question and is just asking what it is, so they could also offer advice and participate in the discussion from that angle? 

Wouldn't it be more polite to assume the best of the person and offer assistance in finding their answer or simply saying it was just the sharing of a story?

I think it's pretty uncharitable to automatically label the person who asks what the etiquette question is, as being rude, snarky or the reason that apparently some people don't post in the question threads anymore.

I always thought that the folders in the General Etiquette section were for etiquette questions & advice seeking for etiquette dilemmas.  I thought the main site was where people submitted stories for review and discussion. 

I'm not saying people shouldn't post stories in these areas but I *do* think it's understandable when someone asks what the question is or if there is one, especially if it's in those folders.  Why not just assume the best, answer the question and move on? 



I agree with you in that questioning isn't wrong, but I do think there is a way to word the question nicely without being or sounding snarky.
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