Author Topic: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...  (Read 11895 times)

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JonGirl

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #15 on: September 23, 2010, 06:45:25 AM »


 ;D  ;D
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Jape

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #16 on: September 23, 2010, 07:05:01 AM »
A friend of mine went into a craft store to buy a bone folder (used for scoring paper to get a straight fold).  She was in a hurry and walked up to probably the only male store attendant and said "Can you help me, I'm looking for a boner."

Of course then she realised what she'd just said, turned on her heel and left the shop!

MadMadge43

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #17 on: September 23, 2010, 03:39:06 PM »
Just thought of 2 more.

I once yelled across the parking lot to a random man when my car battery died "Hey will you jump me?!?!"

My friend and I went looking for his cousin that was supposed to be getting his hair cut at SuperCuts. We walked in as a hairdresser was walking out of the back shampooing area and my friend yelled across the store "Are you doing a guy back there?!?!" I had to walk right back out of the store.

Giggity

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #18 on: September 23, 2010, 03:53:58 PM »
A few years back, we had a guy on cast named Carlos. He is EPIC hawt. One day, he wasn't at morning meeting, and on our director questioning his whereabouts, Stephanie (our assistant director) announced that she'd just finished jumping him. It took her a good two seconds of solid silence to realize what she'd said, and to start hollering, "His CAR, you pervs! I jumped his CAR!"
Words mean things.

Animala

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #19 on: September 23, 2010, 03:55:51 PM »
I have two first cousins.  A few years ago she was dating this guy (who was rather antisocial, he attended family events but spent the whole time playing a video game or would disappear into nonpublic areas of my aunt's house).  My mom was telling me that he was going to be at another family event and I said, "What is he an orphan or something?"   Yep he was.

kethria

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #20 on: September 23, 2010, 04:19:31 PM »
I have to share this, because it was simply hilarious.

My BIL uses me as his personal ask-a-nurse service. He asks me about everything from ingrown hairs to outright pneumonia. Believe me, there's nothing more awkward than telling your BIL the symptoms of herpes. Trust me on this one.

He recently developed a cyst in a rather personal area...he's had it checked out and the doc says that it's likely nothing but that she wants to take it out. He was panicking that the surgery would leave him sterile, would hurt horrendously, etc. So I have to be cool on the side and tell him how needle biopsy of the...container....is done and that there's little risk, etc.

Man that he is, he's going on and on about how large this cyst is. Finally he says "Seriously, I want to send you a picture of it to see what you think."

 :o :o :o :o :o :o :o

I gave him a moment to realize what he had just offered to do then drawled, "Honey, Christmas is going to be awfully awkward if you start s*e*x*t*i*n*g me." I haven't heard that much sputtering since "The Poseidon Adventure".

So share your favorite foot-in-mouth moments...



Gaaaaah! My BIL does tis to me all the time and I'm a VET... so when we look at um... boy bits it's slightly different! I finally told him (after umpteenth phonecalls about whether or not he pulled his groin muscle or is it a problem with the man parts) that the ONLY way to tell if something was wrong would be if I saw/palpated it. And that was NOT happening ever. :P

kethria

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #21 on: September 23, 2010, 04:21:01 PM »
The adorable grandmomish secretary we had at work was with us at some awards ceremony when the FEDEX guy came by carrying a giant box. Ralphine looked at him and chirped "My that is a really BIG PACKAGE  you have there!" He blushed and we died laughing. We later had to explain it to her...

baglady

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #22 on: September 23, 2010, 05:16:01 PM »
When I was in college, some of us had to share our student post office boxes because there weren't enough to go around.

My box-mate was a guy who had flunked out a few years earlier and been granted permission to come back, so he was class of '72 or '73, even though we were into the late 1970s. (At my college, the class you matriculated with was your class no matter when you graduated. You actually had to get special permission to change your class year if you graduated in a different year from your official class year.)

So anyway, I'm a very naive little sophomore, it's Winter Carnival weekend and this *very hot* guy shows up at our (coed) fraternity house. I asked one of the other brothers who he was and was told "That's Jim K___. He's a '72 who's just coming back to finish his senior year."

Me: "Oh, I share my box with someone like that!"

Other brothers burst out laughing. I had no idea that "box" meant something besides, well, a box, post-office or otherwise.
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pinkunicorn

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #23 on: September 23, 2010, 05:37:45 PM »
A few weeks ago, my supervisor sent me over to the local Wally World to get an extension cord that has three plug-ins on the end. When he sent me, he said he wasn't sure if Wally World carried the ones we used (the ones we use are heavy-duty for some construction equipment.) I told him not to worry, I could just ask when I got there.

So I walked into the store and sauntered right up to the (male) greeter. "Hi. I'm looking for a three-way and I need it badly. Can you help me?"

The guy burst out laughing and says "I hope you're talking about an extension cord. They're over that way."

I couldn't resist...I just smiled, winked at him, and said "Interesting assumption." as I walked off in the direction he pointed. Yeah, I'm just way too used to joking around with a bunch of guys.  ::)
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Little Jo

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #24 on: September 23, 2010, 06:14:10 PM »
This was actually  the fact that I was an Irish teenager in a Boston school and was not fully aware of differences between hiberno English and American English

During math class I make a mistake
I turn to the guy beside me and ask
"Do you have a rubber I lost mine?"

~I was asking for an eraser!

Syfygeek

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #25 on: September 23, 2010, 10:47:00 PM »
Years ago, I worked with a girl who hated the beach. Hated seafood, hated sand, the ocean- the whole idea of the beach.  Her family- parents, siblings- loved the beach, owned a house there, and lived for anything beach related and would eat seafood 3 meals a day if possible.

She was complaining about having to go to the beach once again for a family party, and how it was no fun since everybody else would be on the beach and she'd hate it.

Everybody was laughing, until I said "are you sure you're not adopted?" Cue the silence. She looked at me, and said "yes I am." I couldn't look her in the eye for months.
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jayhawk

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #26 on: September 24, 2010, 12:15:17 PM »
A friend of mine went into a craft store to buy a bone folder (used for scoring paper to get a straight fold).  She was in a hurry and walked up to probably the only male store attendant and said "Can you help me, I'm looking for a boner."

Of course then she realised what she'd just said, turned on her heel and left the shop!

This is an on-going joke with my scrapbooking buddies - it's a tool we all have and share!

LadyClaire

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #27 on: October 05, 2010, 04:10:05 PM »
A friend of mine went into a craft store to buy a bone folder (used for scoring paper to get a straight fold).  She was in a hurry and walked up to probably the only male store attendant and said "Can you help me, I'm looking for a boner."

Of course then she realised what she'd just said, turned on her heel and left the shop!

This is an on-going joke with my scrapbooking buddies - it's a tool we all have and share!

Crafts can be surprisingly dirty.

DF called me one day while I was at the craft store. He asked what I was doing, and I said "Oh, I'm looking for a big Stiffy...but it looks like they've only got small ones in stock."

Silence.

More silence.

DF "wait..you're doing what???"

Me: "Oh...OH! Stiffy is fabric stiffener! you know, for stiffening fabric! I'm not at the craft store buying...you've got a dirty mind!"

Sterling

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #28 on: October 05, 2010, 04:35:53 PM »
This happened this weekend.

I had been saying the wrong thing all weekend to my boyfriend and we were sort of not in a good place.  We had people over for the weekend because of a big local bike rally that was this past weekend.

I stormed into the kitchen  and shouted "Can I get a volunteer to shove a hard something in my mouth to shut me up."

I was thinking that my best girlfriend was still in there baking cookies.  She wasn't.  However 6 of my boyfriend's biker buddies were.  I don't know who looked more suprised me or them.
93 93/93

snowfire

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #29 on: October 05, 2010, 05:29:58 PM »
My hairdresser was cutting my hair when a young man walked into the salon and asked how much it would be for a cut and a bl0w job.

Both  of us fell over laughing.  He turned beet red and spluttered. "Blow DRY, I meant blow DRY!!!!!"

Kethria: You might mention that the last time you saw "boy bits" you ended up neutering the owner of said bits.  >:D