Author Topic: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...  (Read 12124 times)

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Wavicle

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #30 on: October 05, 2010, 05:39:39 PM »
I went to a national conference in high school for a vocational education organization.  This conference is pretty big, and each state has pins that you can trade/collect. Some states also brought things, like hats or necklaces, that become hot items. Hawaii has the most desired pin because they send the fewest students, and they also tend to bring goodies like leis to trade. One of the other students I was with (I'll call him Frank) exchanged his hat for one of these knickknacks from, Hawaii. A necklace made out of shells or wood or something, I am still not entirely sure what it was.

The leader of our schools group did not go because none of his students were attending, but he had attended in the past. he had never gotten a Hawaii pin and asked us to get one. I managed to get him one, and asked my teacher chaperon if I could tell him when she was checking in on the phone. I blurt out "I got you your Hawaii pin, and Frank traded his hat for a lei!" My teacher realizes this sounds like he traded it for a lay, and she started saying "A flower one!" I don't realized what happened, and I shove the foot in further and say "No, it was wood!"

Msunderstatement

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #31 on: October 05, 2010, 05:48:01 PM »
I was in charge of collecting my department's timecards on Fridays and then giving them to my supervisor for his review.  I had almost all of them and noticed that I was missing one belong to an employee whose last name was Ball.

I handed the stack of timecards to my supervisor (a man), and without thinking I said, "Here they are, but you don't have Ball's."   :o  I sputtered my apology and ran away, redfaced.
I'm not lost -- just taking the scenic route!

Luci

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #32 on: October 05, 2010, 06:02:53 PM »
I went to a national conference in high school for a vocational education organization.  This conference is pretty big, and each state has pins that you can trade/collect. Some states also brought things, like hats or necklaces, that become hot items. Hawaii has the most desired pin because they send the fewest students, and they also tend to bring goodies like leis to trade. One of the other students I was with (I'll call him Frank) exchanged his hat for one of these knickknacks from, Hawaii. A necklace made out of shells or wood or something, I am still not entirely sure what it was.

The leader of our schools group did not go because none of his students were attending, but he had attended in the past. he had never gotten a Hawaii pin and asked us to get one. I managed to get him one, and asked my teacher chaperon if I could tell him when she was checking in on the phone. I blurt out "I got you your Hawaii pin, and Frank traded his hat for a lei!" My teacher realizes this sounds like he traded it for a lay, and she started saying "A flower one!" I don't realized what happened, and I shove the foot in further and say "No, it was wood!"

 :) :D :D >:D

Rosgrana

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #33 on: October 05, 2010, 06:07:39 PM »
(My mother swears this never happened. My sister and I know darn well it did.) Mum was an adoption worker. Lots of the families kept in touch with her after the adoptions, and she always referred to the adoptees as "her" children.

Imagine the scene. You and your sister - 11 and 14 - are shopping with Mum. Busy shopping centre - Saturday crowds - suddenly your mother goes up to a man you've never seen before and asks him "Aren't you the father of one of my children?"  :o :-[

CakeBeret

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #34 on: October 05, 2010, 06:46:48 PM »
At church one Sunday, baby shatzie was playing with a baby girl about his age. The girl kept pulling on his clothes and her dad said, "stop trying to pull his clothes off" I replied, "Yeah, it's a little early for them to be doing that."

Anywhere else, fine, but not at CHURCH!
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guihong

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #35 on: October 06, 2010, 07:36:38 AM »
This was in high school  :-[.  I walked, and there was a policeman at this one intersection I had to cross.  One day, he asked me how school was going, and I said "Fine, but my chemistry teacher is a jerk."  He asked me who I had, and I said "Mr. J-."  Naturally, the policeman replied, "Oh, that's my son!"  ::) :-[.

(Today I look back and remember Mr. J- as one of my best teachers :)).



MizB

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #36 on: October 06, 2010, 04:39:34 PM »
LMBO to all of the above.
‘All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing’  attributed to Edmund Burke 1729-1797

Spring Water on Sundays

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #37 on: October 07, 2010, 10:24:52 AM »
(My mother swears this never happened. My sister and I know darn well it did.) Mum was an adoption worker. Lots of the families kept in touch with her after the adoptions, and she always referred to the adoptees as "her" children.

Imagine the scene. You and your sister - 11 and 14 - are shopping with Mum. Busy shopping centre - Saturday crowds - suddenly your mother goes up to a man you've never seen before and asks him "Aren't you the father of one of my children?"  :o :-[


There was a recent commercial for some fruit juice that depicted a similar scenario. A man is at the mall and a young woman approaches him and asks, "Aren't you the father of one of my children?" He gets a panicked look on his face and blurts out, "Cancun Spring Break 1998???" and the young woman looks completely mortified.

Then it rewinds to what would have happened if he had drunk the juice that morning so his brain would be functioning fully:

Young woman asks, "Aren't you the father of one of my children?" Guy replies, "Oh, Sister Mary Helen! My daughter is in your art class!" and he shows her the bracelet he's wearing that his kid made in class.

Poirot

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #38 on: October 07, 2010, 03:28:27 PM »
I was wroking as a personal assistant. I got a call from my boss' golf pro about a custom club he had ordered. He needed two measurement questions answered, so I dutifully wrote the information down until my boss came in the office next.

The next day when my boss comes in, we work on the daily business and then I remember the golf pro and blurt out "I need your shaft and your length".

My boss and I lasted all of 10 seconds before bursting out in giggles, it was 5 more minutes before I Was able to explain.
A spoon! A spoon! My kingdom for a case of #%^***** spoons!

Sirius

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #39 on: October 07, 2010, 03:33:15 PM »
My older sister did this as a toddler. I unfortunately missed it due to not having been born, but it was a classic story in our family nonetheless.  Oh, and she hasn't changed much.

Mom and Older Sis were sitting in church.  The pastor starts to pray...and goes on...and on...and on...
Finally, 2-yo Older Sis stands up on the pew and hollers, "AMEN!"  The prayer was wrapped up quite quickly after that.  I figure she just said out loud what everyone else was thinking.

M-theory

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #40 on: October 07, 2010, 06:43:11 PM »
I write sexy stories for fun. I was writing a bit this evening, then had to go make dinner for my grandmother and myself. After dinner, accustomed, after years living alone, to talking to myself about whatever, I pushed back my chair and mumbled "Well, back to my porn."

I'm so glad I mumbled, although I'm not 100% she would have known what I meant anyway...

Nora

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #41 on: October 08, 2010, 10:07:54 AM »
I write sexy stories for fun. I was writing a bit this evening, then had to go make dinner for my grandmother and myself. After dinner, accustomed, after years living alone, to talking to myself about whatever, I pushed back my chair and mumbled "Well, back to my porn."

I'm so glad I mumbled, although I'm not 100% she would have known what I meant anyway...

That's hilarious!  ;D
Just because someone is offended that does not mean they are in the right.

nutraxfornerves

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #42 on: October 08, 2010, 10:35:30 AM »
When I was working, I had coffee nearly every day with two male coworkers. Although we didn't socialize outside of the office, we considered ourselves good friends. Mild off-color humor was fine, but we were also pretty good about not going outside work-safe limits.

One of the guys was a genuine cowboy--he had a small cattle ranch as a sideline. Oe day we got to discussing horseback riding, in the context of his search for a gentle horse for his wife.  At one time, I was a very good rider, but it had been years since I'd been on a horse.  We were discussing problems with handling stallions, which, as horsey people do, we referred to as "studs."

I wanted to say that I doubted I could handle a stallion. It came out "I've never ridden a stud and I don't think I could."

Silence. I realized what I had said and I could almost see the tongues of my buddies being bitten in two as they tried not to say anything. I followed up with a deadpan "And you are not to take that as a straight line." At which point we all exploded with laughter.

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Carnation

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #43 on: October 08, 2010, 12:52:07 PM »
One night, our college had a huge snowball fight.   Students from one dorm started throwing snowballs at students from another dorm, then they united and started in on another residential area until the fight grew out of control.

I have no "arm", so I made snowballs for a guy who could throw, but had no gloves.   I recognized him from one of my classes, although I didn't know him very well at all.

The next day, I saw him in class and innocently (for real) said "That was fun last night!".   He (equally innocently) said "Oh, was that you?"

The rest of the class burst into no so innocent laughter.

At least he was majorly hot!


M-theory

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #44 on: October 08, 2010, 06:12:47 PM »
My boss was wearing a pair of very squeaky shoes one day. As she was coming up behind me, I could hear her a mile away because of the squeaking.

What I meant: "You could never work in espionage because you couldn't sneak up on anyone in those shoes."

What I said: "You would make a terrible spy!"

My boss is blind.

I started rambling, "Um, because of the squeaking shoes! You couldn't spy on anyone! I mean, you couldn't sneak up on anyone! Your shoes are squeaky!"

Fortunately, she has an excellent sense of humor.

LOL! Caffeine-free Dr. Pepper through the nose...