Author Topic: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...  (Read 12197 times)

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Knitterly

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #75 on: November 05, 2011, 12:59:20 AM »
My worst moment came when I was pregnant and celebrating my friend's 30th b-day.

She'd had a bit to drink (as everyone but me had) and was lightly bemoaning her weight.  At one point, she made a comment about how all the women in her office were pregnant and she made a comment about her "food baby" tummy.

All of a sudden, out popped "Don't worry about it, you'll just fit right in and no one will notice."

 :o

I literally clapped my hand over my mouth and died a thousand deaths right on the spot.  What I meant was, all the pregnant women would be so worried about their own weight that no one would think Friend was fat at all.  But oh, boy!  What came out of my mouth was nothing like what my brain wanted to say.
To this day (6 months later) I still blush when I think about it.

turtleIScream

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #76 on: November 08, 2011, 11:01:56 PM »
We used to attend church with our best friends before we moved away  :(. We volunteered in the children's department together, plus also would get together 3-4 times a week, so we knew each other really well.  One Sunday before church started, Mike was telling me they had just installed a canopy over their bed, and he was still not used to it.  He was trying to describe how disoriented he felt if he woke up in the middle of the night, and saw this weird fluttering fabric.  Apparently, I culdn't properly envision it, because he suddenly blurts out, "well, you just need to wake up in my bed sometime!"
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GIR

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #77 on: November 10, 2011, 06:18:37 PM »
My Mom had a spectacular moment back in the late 70's. She and her husband at the time had moved from Canada to Guernsey which is part of the Channel Islands of the coast of the UK.

Back in the 70's apparently there was a very popular hairstyle referred to as the "shag". So one day shortly after moving mom wanders into the local hair salon to get her hair done. One of the stylists asks mom what she'd like.  Mom replies that she'd like a shag please.....you apparently could have heard a pin drop as everyone in the shop stopped and gaped at her .  After their initial shock one of the ladies figuring by mom's accent that she was new to the area took her aside and explained the meaning of the term shag as another word for scrabble.After that mom and the rest of the shop had a good laugh.  ;D
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Danismom

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #78 on: November 10, 2011, 07:17:38 PM »
My role at work is providing spiritual and emotional care to patients, families, and staff.  One day, I saw one of the nurses I work with regularly at a clothing store.  She's a redhead with lots of freckles.  She was ahead of me in line and was talking about her upcoming vacation.  She said she was getting some items for her trip.  I commented that the item in her hand was a great color for her....

Then I realized I had just complimented her new bra.  Luckily, she and I both ended up laughing.

GreenEyedHawk

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #79 on: November 12, 2011, 11:59:47 AM »
A few years back, at Easter or Christmas or some such large family dinner, my aunts and uncles were happily gabbing away at their table and in the kitchen, while my cousins and I were happily gabbing away at the second table ("kids table" even though none of us was a day under 25).  You know how sometimes you're in a large group of people, so you're talking loudly, and then there's an inexplicable lull, and you find yourself shouting? 

Well, one such lull occurred and from the kitchen, we heard my totally squeaky-clean and straightlaced aunt say, "Well, that's what SHE said..." Whatever the rest of her sentence was, it was completely drowned out by the enormous roar of laughter that came from the "kids' table".  We never did tell her what was so funny.
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Pioneer

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #80 on: November 12, 2011, 12:57:44 PM »
Great thread!

What I should have said to the store rep, "Yes, you can help!  Thank you.  I am seeking a small metal tool set so that I can separate the shells from the seeds on the walnuts that drop from the trees growing on my husband's family farm."

What I said instead, "Oh, yeah.  Thanks.  I need one of those things so that I can crack and pick my father-in-law's nuts."
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Shoo

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #81 on: November 12, 2011, 01:00:50 PM »
Great thread!

What I should have said to the store rep, "Yes, you can help!  Thank you.  I am seeking a small metal tool set so that I can separate the shells from the seeds on the walnuts that drop from the trees growing on my husband's family farm."

What I said instead, "Oh, yeah.  Thanks.  I need one of those things so that I can crack and pick my father-in-law's nuts."

Yikes!  Did the salesperson wince?  :)

Pioneer

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #82 on: November 12, 2011, 01:09:58 PM »
All color drained from my face just in time for it to turn bright red.  Sometimes laughter is the only available response! 
"Try to live your life so that you wouldn't be afraid to sell the family parrot to the town gossip." -- Will Rogers

siamesecat2965

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #83 on: November 13, 2011, 02:17:23 PM »
Great thread!

What I should have said to the store rep, "Yes, you can help!  Thank you.  I am seeking a small metal tool set so that I can separate the shells from the seeds on the walnuts that drop from the trees growing on my husband's family farm."

What I said instead, "Oh, yeah.  Thanks.  I need one of those things so that I can crack and pick my father-in-law's nuts."

That is hilarious!  OF course you knew (in your head) exactly what you meant, however, it just didn't come out like you planned. 

General Jinjur

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #84 on: November 20, 2011, 05:52:49 PM »
This happened when I was a teenager.

I was walking with my mother in our town's shopping area one night. One of the shops we went past had long been empty, but there were signs of life that night - a new awning and a huge purple heart-shaped neon sign. I found the sign curious, so I said, "That's odd, there's a giant purple heart on in the window."

I thought my mother was actually going to die.

General Jinjur

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Re: In Celebration of the Great Foot-In-Mouth Moments...
« Reply #85 on: November 20, 2011, 05:54:44 PM »
Another one I just thought of. As a teenager I was very into collecting obscure punk and indie seven-inch records. So in the course of my search I went into a shop, went to the first guy I saw, and guess what I asked him? Let's just say he didn't know what exactly I was asking for....