Among my friends, when we go out for birthdays etc, we pay for our selves.
We do not give gifts and the person that is having the birthday usually arranges the celebration.
I am moving to Alien Land to live for a year with my husband for his work. I do not want to go. I am because I love my husband. he left on Tuesday, my birthday was the following Sunday. I will be joining him in a month.
I also had my last day at a job I loved on the day before my Birthday. I am only leaving job as i had to leave to go with DH. I just wanted a quite evening with a couple of friends as i was feeling delicate.
I also live in city O while all my our friends live in C and so was arranging an outing in City C
There is a large group of friends that get together and can number upwards of 20 depending on who is home. These are all people I am friendly with but not people I would seek out if it was just me and them.
It is not uncommon for small groups to do things without the group as a hole.
I love karaoke and that is what i wanted to do for my Birthday end BG
The arrangement was as follows. I had asked My BFF her DH, My BIL and his GF and two close friends who are a couple, K and L if they would like to join me for a meal and Karaoke.
This restaurant is one you have to book and they all know this.
On the Saturday afternoon, "4 hours before the meal" I am on my way home from work.
I needed to pick up my bag so I could get the train to C.
I get a text from another friend D. I had not invited him. However he is asking what time the meal is.
Now this is important: D lives 6 hours away by car and I had only found out he was coming down to C the week before.
D is also in a wheelchair and the restaurant is not Wheelchair friendly. The Karaoke is up stares.
some one had mentioned that I should ask him to come. I made the decision not to, as i had already booked the table.
I assumed he would be doing things with the larger group.
To be honest and selfishly I wanted to do Karaoke.
This is the only place that does it in C.
Had i known he was going to be around when i organized it, I would have worked with him and booked somewhere different. I then would have done singing with just my BFF.
So i ring BIL's GF who was the one that mentioned asking him. I wanted to know what D had been told about the night. if he had been told about the stares etc.
now at this point, I was a bit upset that i wouldn't get to do the singing, but was pleased D wanted to come out with me when i know how limited his time is.
Plus adding one more to a group of 7 wasn't going to hurt, even last minuet.
The restaurant its self had a few steps but we would haver managed as they only put groups of 10 plus on the balcony area "this is relevant later"
this is the conversation.
me:did you invite D. its not a problem, i need to know so i can let the restaurant know there will be one more and this has kind if stressed me a bit. I was about to go in to "does he know about stares?"
BILGF: yes David is coming so is every one els.
every one who???
BILGF:J and T and other T and C. everyone who was out on Thursday.
N.B this has been upwards of 20 before.
me: Ok i don't have everyones number can you text who you can and find out who is coming as I will have to change the booking.
I will admit I started to babel at this point. I was trying crazily not to make BIL's GF feel bad, while totally freaking out.
Not five minuets later I get a text of L to the same effect of every one is coming.
so i call her.
Again its the same thing "at the pub they discussed it and they decided as D is down to make it a joint birthday and seeing D get together."
so I again say "OK who is coming?"
She can't say she dose not know.
from what I have gathered I am guessing 15ish people will be coming. This is just based on who was at the Pub, so I ring the restaurant "can I change my table to 15 please." by this point I am practically crying. by something miraculous they can get us in.
only 10 people show up, one of them was someone that was not at the pub where they decided to Hijacked my bday. Thats when i learned
they were texting everyone to tell them to come.
All i can say is I am glad iIfound out about that once I was at the restaurant.
There was no Karaoke
D was down for 2 weeks so they did not have to re organize my birthday.
We ended up on the balcony "like I said they only put groups of 10 plus up there and my booking was for 15" D was embarrassed that he needed help.
I got a few stony looks and comments about being inconsiderate.
They then decided to go clubbing "I am claustrophobic and Hate! clubbing and they know it."
I would have been much less angry had some one thought to let me know more than 4 hours before the event what was going on.
I'm just lucky some one did finally text me.
I don't know what would have happened when they all turned up at the restaurant expecting to be fed and there was no table.
i supose my question is could i have said "That wont be possible? or some variation.
Edited as I dropped my cup on the keyboard and it posted only 2 lines in to the account.