For PA comments in the grocery line-up

[Raintree]

Who hasn't encountered THIS:

I was buying two items in the grocery store, and paying with a card. The card reader took a microsecond longer than usual to respond, and I heard an exasperated sigh behind me in the line-up. Also, I have a new card and it was only the second time I've used it, so I punched in what I thought was the new PIN, but it was wrong. Tried it again, and it was wrong. More sighing behind me. So I said to the cashier, "I'm sorry, this is a new card...let me just double check the PIN" and reached into my purse to find where I'd written it down.*  This took me about 3 seconds. Meanwhile, a voice behind me is saying to her companion, "Well is this going to take forever?"  Unfortunately it had timed out by this time and she had to swipe it again...another 5 seconds or so added to the transaction. I punched in the correct PIN and slowly, calmly turned around and looked at the offending sigher with a blank, calm, and cold look, for 2-3 seconds before turning my attention back to the cashier. The cashier gave me my card and receipt, and I said to her cheerily, "Thanks, have a great day!" and then turned around to give the sigher one last blank look before departing. This made her uncomfortable and she looked away.

Did I do OK?


 *(I know, never write down your PIN...but I had it written in a cryptic way as a phone number on my phone list, and I do plan to destroy it once I've been to the bank to change it to something I'll remember).
** also, I could have given up and paid cash, but I was actually shopping for someone else and for proper record keeping, it was far more convenient to have it on this card.

[Scuba_Dog]

I would have apologized to the "sigher" for the unanticipated delay.  Kill'em with kindness and all.

I don't really see any point (other than possibly engaging the crazy) for the blank, cold stares.  According to your post, you spent as much time staring at the sigher as you did searching for your PIN number.  That seems sort of rude to me.    

[Raintree]

I would have apologized to the "sigher" for the unanticipated delay.  Kill'em with kindness and all.

I don't really see any point (other than possibly engaging the crazy) for the blank, cold stares.  According to your post, you spent as much time staring at the sigher as you did searching for your PIN number.  That seems sort of rude to me.    

Oh well I perhaps I made it sound as though I was staring aggressively. It was more of a pointed glance to acknowledge, "Yes I heard you just like you wanted me to, and I really think you should calm down" during the time I had to wait for the receipt to come out anyway. I did not stand there and delay things further.

But I do think your suggestion about apologizing to the sigher is a good one. She had to have heard me apologize to the cashier though. I have to admit, I was more inclined to apologize to the cashier, who likely has to deal with cranks such as this all day.

I've also felt the exact same way as the sigher before when I've been the one who was in a hurry. But even if I want to scream, I do refrain from the sighs and mutters.

[DangerMouth]

I can't always be counted on to return kindness for PA rudeness. Congenial cluenessness is more my style:

*sigh* "Is this going to take forever?"

*Big smile* "Well, gosh, it just might, if I can't get this darn card to work! Sorry!" *big smile*

[Master_Edward]

You handled that woman perfectly.

Ed.

[Larrabee]

"Is this going to take forever?"

"I wouldn't have thought so, probably just a few extra seconds"

or just

"Excuse me?"  Said innocently, with a smile, as though you just didn't hear properly, then she has to decide whether to repeat her rude comment openly.

Honestly, what an over-reaction!  Of course its not going to take forever, forever is a very very long time, this was not, have a little patience!

[Granny Takes a Trip]

You handled that woman perfectly.

Ed.

POD. I actually have sighed inwardly when I have seen people being slow at a till. Note the emphasis on 'inwardly'. To give an outward sign is snarky, rude and PA.

[Shores]

I would have apologized to the "sigher" for the unanticipated delay.  Kill'em with kindness and all.

I don't really see any point (other than possibly engaging the crazy) for the blank, cold stares.  According to your post, you spent as much time staring at the sigher as you did searching for your PIN number.  That seems sort of rude to me.    

I agree with you. Aggressive stare or not, it was given with the intent to send a message. A simple apology would have made you clearly stand out as the bigger person. They were obviously rude; there's no need to take it further.

[Sharnita]

You caused a delay, though it wasn't a huge one it was caused by oyu not knowing your PIN number.  They should have stifled their displeasure but you did slow down the process.  You should have apologized.  I can't for the life of me think why you wouldn't.

[Miss Vertigo]

She was rude but you caused the delay. I would have apologised. Apologising would have also taken less time than pointedly staring at her.

[aventurine]

I would have apologized to the "sigher" for the unanticipated delay.  Kill'em with kindness and all.

I have done, and it seems to really pop their little pity balloon.  Seems just as effective as cold, blank stares to me, if not more so.

That said, though, you were there, OP, and I wasn't.  Whether I took the apology route or the cold stare route would depend on the kind of mood I was in.  Although, I'd be more likely to just ignore them than stare at them.  That seems a little too confrontational for the situation, to me.

[RainhaDoTexugo]

I think you should have apologized, too.  I'd be annoyed at someone having to swipe three times and dig through her purse to find her pin, too.  Any grumbling and sighing I did would be internal, or at least out of hearing of the person causing the delay, but I'd also probably not be sighing and grumbling in the first place if the person causing the delay just gave a simple apology to acknowledge that she was inconveniencing me.  The total lack of remorse (for lack of a better word - that one's not exactly right), and the "so what if I'm taking my sweet time, deal with it," attitude would annoy me far more than the actual delay.

[kareng57]

Well, no, I don't think you were exactly okay.

I'll agree that these things happen but you'll have to admit that you yourself caused the delay, rather than the cashier or the store equipment.  If I'd been behind you, I might have indeed said something quietly to my companion such as "how long is this going to take?"  Not so loud that you'd have been meant to hear it, though, which seems to be what happened in your case.

I know you apologised to the cashier but I think you should have apologised to the people behind you as well.  No one really enjoys standing in cashier lineups, and a delay of even one minute can seem more like five minutes.

[MrsO]

She was rude but you caused the delay. I would have apologised. Apologising would have also taken less time than pointedly staring at her.

Pod.

[Raintree]

Interesting array of opinions...thanks all!!

I'll only take issue with this one small point:

Apologising would have also taken less time than pointedly staring at her.

No, because my pointed glance at her didn't create any extra delay. I did it while the cashier was taking my card, swiping it, and getting ready to hand me the device. I had to stand there anyway. Any inclination I may have had to apologize was removed when I heard the sighing and PA comments when not even 10 seconds had passed yet, ie the FIRST time I tried my PIN. However, I will take into consideration that if it ever happens again, turning around to look at her and say, "Sorry about the delay. First time I've used this card."  I think people who sigh and make PA comments in line-ups generally aren't counting on being spoken to directly, so it probably would have had the same affect as my pointed look and raised eyebrow.