Etiquette School is in session! > "Why would I want to do that?"

"There is no chance I would ever have a romantic rel[color=black]ationship[/color] with you."

(1/6) > >>

I know this has probably been on here before but, I have a problem; I'm too nice. I end up being nice to certain men and before I know it I am being asked to go out with them in a date like situation. Or my favorite- every comment they make is in reference to us being together at some point in the future. For instance "Maybe what you are looking for is right in front of you." "I would really like to find a nice girl to go to a movie with, I'm lonely etc.etc. Wanna go see a movie?"

I try to not 'flirt' or give them any reason to believe I would go out with them but there are some guys who are persistent enough to be annoying. What is a POLITE way to say "I don't like you in that way."

I am really trying to learn how to deal with pushy people. My usual situation is to ignore and cut contact because the interaction is just so awkward. Help!

My favorite way to deflect attention is to bring up my husband in every other sentence.  Of course, it doesn't always work, so at a certain point you might just need to be blunt along the lines of, "I'm not dating right now, sorry."

In a perfect world...

The guy can ask for a date up to 3 times. BUT he doesn't say "Would you like to go to a movie sometime?" He says "Would you care to join me for the 7:00 showing of "Blush of the Lilies" next Friday?"

And three times, you can answer "Oh, sorry, I can't. I'm busy (not going out with you)"

I think it would nice to bring that back. The rejection is still definate, but a little less personal...

Other than that, I'm no help..sorry.

I think that putting them off with excuses that you are busy that night or have other plans will not stop them from continuing to try several times.  Yes, eventually they would get the message that you are not interested, but by the time they understood that, it would be hurtful and they may feel like they have been "strung along."  I think a better approach is to say that you're not at a place where you want a relationship right now and one or both of you could potentially be hurt if you were to date when you know you don't want anything serious.  Then you are rejecting relationships in general, not him as an individual.  Of course the problem with this approach is that you will seem hypocritical when you DO meet a guy you are interested in dating and they wonder what happened to "I'm not interested in a relationship"...  I guess you just cross that bridge when you come to it.

Anyone know why the words dating and relationship always show up with @ in the place of a?


[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version