We are really struggling at our house with space issues. I sold our big house and bought a small mobile home a few years ago when my oldest DD was headed to college, knowing that youngest DD and I would have about five years together before she went off to college also. Things did not go so well and oldest DD is home, going to local college with a new baby & no husband, we are cramped to be generous.
My MIL and I have a testy rel@tionship. She is very PA and I have a short fuse some times. But I promise you honestly I TRY REALLY HARD
to get along. http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=42988.msg1010163#msg1010163
In May my youngest DD said she wanted to see her grandma and after she and I discussed it we decided that I would ask grandma to come for Thanksgiving and I would buy the plane ticket. DD would give up her bedroom for the weekend and grandma would be comfortable. I consulted grandma and bought a non-refundable, non exchangable ticket - coming in Wednesday night leaving Saturday morning. I know I can get along with anyone for that period of time.
But I also bet a friend of mine that a hundred things would come up and grandma would have to back out. I'm not worried about the ticket the airline will work with me and I can use it for something else. It's the principle of the thing. Grandma is an enabler of her sons and has made extremely bad financial decisions her whole life - she struggles to cover all her bills most months.
Two months ago...grandma says I'm not going to have any money to do what I want for the girls. I say don't worry about it. We have plenty of food and we aren't going to be doing any shopping anyway, just sit around and visit. We'll cook most of Thursday and watch the game and then lay around on Friday and play with new baby.
Last month...grandma says I don't think I'm going to have any money to spend on the trip. Again I relate we will not be shopping, just eating & visiting. I know she wishes she had money to blow on the kids, but she doesn't, she never has - let's not get into this.
Last night....grandma says can you get a refund on that ticket? No, I confirmed this with you when I bought the ticket, it is non-refundable. Well she doesn't think she is going to have any money to spend on the kids. I know this, we have always known this, this is not news. Now she wants to wait until she has money to spend...that will probably be NEVER.
I am so frustrated because the girls were looking forward to her coming. I don't want to blow up but I'm really miffed that she is doing this to my girls. I know I should be used to the PA - but I can't get used to it. It is repeated and repeated even when she promises that she will not do it, she does.
I'm thinking of an email that says grandma we would like you to come Thanksgiving weekend, plans have been made we don't want to change them. Quite frankly I don't appreciate you doing my kids this way, either come now or you will have to figure out a way to see them on your own dime. I am not paying for anything else down the road if you do us this way now.
Help me with the correct response !