Will you take a picture with my camera ?

[Granny Takes a Trip]

I think you should have taken the photo, OP. I imagine your response to the requester embarassed her and that's why she was rude in her response.

Podding the others here. All a polite request deserves is a polite refusal, and she doesn't get to be rude just because she embarassed herself.

I don't even see why you'd think she was embarassed, her reaction (all 3 of them) was rude and entitled and way OTT. Really, she's not a nice person if she's only polite when she wants something. Hearing a polite 'No' shouldn't send one into making nasty PA comments.

POD. I actually think that to say she was embarrased is overly charitable (not that embarrasment would excuse her behaviour)

[Flora Louise]

I was not trying to defend rudeness. I was trying to explain it. If I asked someone to do me a tiny favor and the response was no, I'd feel embarassed. Like I put my foot in it. I don't say it's rational, it's probably what I'd feel.

I realize that etiquette allows us to refuse any and all requests. But why make the world colder? Why not help people out if we can do so easily? That's all I'm saying.

[Granny Takes a Trip]

I was not trying to defend rudeness. I was trying to explain it. If I asked someone to do me a tiny favor and the response was no, I'd feel embarassed. Like I put my foot in it. I don't say it's rational, it's probably what I'd feel.

I realize that etiquette allows us to refuse any and all requests. But why make the world colder? Why not help people out if we can do so easily? That's all I'm saying.

Why not, but also, why?

[Hushabye]

I have to say that I hate that whole "why make the world colder" line of argumentation, Flora Louise.  It comes across as a huge guilt trip.  It's like people who say to do something for a demanding relative because "you're lucky to have relatives".  All it does is line the road to doormattery in the name of niceness.

[Flora Louise]

I have to say that I hate that whole "why make the world colder" line of argumentation, Flora Louise.  It comes across as a huge guilt trip.  It's like people who say to do something for a demanding relative because "you're lucky to have relatives".  All it does is line the road to doormattery in the name of niceness.

I hope you're kidding. We are talking about taking a photo, aren't we?

[Granny Takes a Trip]

I have to say that I hate that whole "why make the world colder" line of argumentation, Flora Louise.  It comes across as a huge guilt trip.  It's like people who say to do something for a demanding relative because "you're lucky to have relatives".  All it does is line the road to doormattery in the name of niceness.

POD. Thank you, that is exactly my line of thinking. It is very guilt trippy. Also, I think it is actively good not to reward entitled people. There is no real virtue in being a doormat, and I think that this site often does a great job of making clear what the boundaries are. Etiquette is not about being a doormat, being nice to unworthy people, or 'making the world a warmer place'. It is about following one's own motivations politely, without impinging on others.

[Yvaine]

I have to say that I hate that whole "why make the world colder" line of argumentation, Flora Louise.  It comes across as a huge guilt trip.  It's like people who say to do something for a demanding relative because "you're lucky to have relatives".  All it does is line the road to doormattery in the name of niceness.

I hope you're kidding. We are talking about taking a photo, aren't we?

Yes, but we're also talking about handling a stranger's expensive property, which some people may be uncomfortable with, and we're also talking about opening oneself up to getting ripped off. The OP was polite; the other woman "made the world colder" by being rude and snarky about it.

[Granny Takes a Trip]

I have to say that I hate that whole "why make the world colder" line of argumentation, Flora Louise.  It comes across as a huge guilt trip.  It's like people who say to do something for a demanding relative because "you're lucky to have relatives".  All it does is line the road to doormattery in the name of niceness.

I hope you're kidding. We are talking about taking a photo, aren't we?

Yes, but why should the OP stop what she was doing to take a photo? You implied that it was her fault for not making nice, which is what people are objecting to. Good for her for not making nice, perhaps those entitled fools would think twice before bothering someone else.  I think if fewer people felt constrained to be polite to snowflakes, the world would actually be a better place.

[Hushabye]

I have to say that I hate that whole "why make the world colder" line of argumentation, Flora Louise.  It comes across as a huge guilt trip.  It's like people who say to do something for a demanding relative because "you're lucky to have relatives".  All it does is line the road to doormattery in the name of niceness.

I hope you're kidding. We are talking about taking a photo, aren't we?

Actually, I'm not kidding. I find those kinds of arguments to be specious as a whole.

If all we're talking about is taking a photo, then it shouldn't be a big deal that someone declines to take it, right?  So why is it only the asker who is taken into consideration by this guilt trip?  I take horrid pictures; therefore, I always decline to take photos for others -- what kind of kindness is it to hand them over a photo of my thumb?

[Yvaine]

I have to say that I hate that whole "why make the world colder" line of argumentation, Flora Louise.  It comes across as a huge guilt trip.  It's like people who say to do something for a demanding relative because "you're lucky to have relatives".  All it does is line the road to doormattery in the name of niceness.

I hope you're kidding. We are talking about taking a photo, aren't we?

Actually, I'm not kidding. I find those kinds of arguments to be specious as a whole.

If all we're talking about is taking a photo, then it shouldn't be a big deal that someone declines to take it, right?  So why is it only the asker who is taken into consideration by this guilt trip?  I take horrid pictures; therefore, I always decline to take photos for others -- what kind of kindness is it to hand them over a photo of my thumb?

Exactly--they think they have a memento of the trip, and therefore not ask anyone to take another, then later discover they have a thumb picture.  Whereas if you just said no, they could ask someone else and get a picture, and then they'd have one.

(It's less of a problem with a digital camera, since they can see right away how it turned out, but in the days of film it was horribly disappointing to think you had a good shot and it didn't turn out...)

[Hushabye]

I have to say that I hate that whole "why make the world colder" line of argumentation, Flora Louise.  It comes across as a huge guilt trip.  It's like people who say to do something for a demanding relative because "you're lucky to have relatives".  All it does is line the road to doormattery in the name of niceness.

I hope you're kidding. We are talking about taking a photo, aren't we?

Actually, I'm not kidding. I find those kinds of arguments to be specious as a whole.

If all we're talking about is taking a photo, then it shouldn't be a big deal that someone declines to take it, right?  So why is it only the asker who is taken into consideration by this guilt trip?  I take horrid pictures; therefore, I always decline to take photos for others -- what kind of kindness is it to hand them over a photo of my thumb?

Exactly--they think they have a memento of the trip, and therefore not ask anyone to take another, then later discover they have a thumb picture.  Whereas if you just said no, they could ask someone else and get a picture, and then they'd have one.

(It's less of a problem with a digital camera, since they can see right away how it turned out, but in the days of film it was horribly disappointing to think you had a good shot and it didn't turn out...)

Even now, it takes me lots and lots of tries to get decent photos with a digital camera.  Far easier and less frustrating for everyone if I just pass at the outset so that hopefully they can find someone who doesn't keep them there for ten minutes trying to hold the camera still enough for everyone to be in focus and not contain a portion of my own anatomy or the camera holder or whatever in there, too.

[Flora Louise]

Yes, but why should the OP stop what she was doing to take a photo? You implied that it was her fault for not making nice, which is what people are objecting to. Good for her for not making nice, perhaps those entitled fools would think twice before bothering someone else.  I think if fewer people felt constrained to be polite to snowflakes, the world would actually be a better place.

People who ask others to take snapshots of them are "entitled fools?" That's what you think?

[Yvaine]

Yes, but why should the OP stop what she was doing to take a photo? You implied that it was her fault for not making nice, which is what people are objecting to. Good for her for not making nice, perhaps those entitled fools would think twice before bothering someone else.  I think if fewer people felt constrained to be polite to snowflakes, the world would actually be a better place.

People who ask others to take snapshots of them are "entitled fools?" That's what you think?

They weren't acting like entitled fools, IMO, until after she said no. At that point they proved they really were entitled fools by the way they behaved about it.

I think they were slightly rude already, though, by interrupting her reading in the first place.

Edited to fix the quote tree.

[Hushabye]

Yes, but why should the OP stop what she was doing to take a photo? You implied that it was her fault for not making nice, which is what people are objecting to. Good for her for not making nice, perhaps those entitled fools would think twice before bothering someone else.  I think if fewer people felt constrained to be polite to snowflakes, the world would actually be a better place.

People who ask others to take snapshots of them are "entitled fools?" That's what you think?

I believe Granny was referring specifically to the people in the original post who certainly proved themselves to be entitled at the very least by their follow-up behavior to the OP's refusal to take the photo.

[Granny Takes a Trip]

Yes, but why should the OP stop what she was doing to take a photo? You implied that it was her fault for not making nice, which is what people are objecting to. Good for her for not making nice, perhaps those entitled fools would think twice before bothering someone else.  I think if fewer people felt constrained to be polite to snowflakes, the world would actually be a better place.

People who ask others to take snapshots of them are "entitled fools?" That's what you think?

No, but these particular people were.Despite your feeling that they were just embarrased, I think they were clearly jerks, and rude and entitled.