Author Topic: Offering unwanted advice or perspectives  (Read 17070 times)

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Bibliophile

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Re: Offering unwanted advice or perspectives
« Reply #60 on: October 11, 2010, 04:55:46 PM »
I don't feel that way at all. I am also far from the first poster to start such a thread. I also am not talking about particular posters, but rather a trend.

This "trend" is not new.  I've been on the forum for several years, and this is just how it has pretty much always been.  It is generally understood that when one asks for advice, one takes the good with the bad.  There always have been (and will probably always be) posters whose tones are more abrupt or short than others.  I know that for myself, I don't tend to write with a lot of flourish and I don't approach every situation with kid gloves.  And I don't think I'm all that unusual.

POD.  I find often that sometimes it's easy to misread an intent behind a short post.  Sometimes the person posting just doesn't think to add a bunch of back story, but I wouldn't consider it to be rude.  It's perfectly fine to be the first one in the thread to disagree with everyone else - as long as everyone on both sides sticks to being "polite" about it.

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.” ~ Groucho Marx

NOVA Lady

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Re: Offering unwanted advice or perspectives
« Reply #61 on: October 11, 2010, 05:01:49 PM »
I honestly do not think its rude, that when someone posts and is all upset about what to most is a non-issue that people say that.

If they are asking for advice on how to handle a rudeness and others do not think what happened is rude at all... well then thats the advice.

If someone does not want disagreement and just wants people to agree with them in the "oh how awful for you!" manner...then maybe the I Need a Hug folder is the way to go.

For example:

OP: I was walking down the road and someone crossed the street right before walking by me. Thats incredibly rude and really hurt my feelings. How to handle?

Reply: Is there some background? Do you know the person?

OP: No...it was a stranger, but I just hate being snubbed and ignored like that because _____ in my past.

Reply: Well, you have no way of knowing why they crossed, I understand that you might have some personal things going on that make this a sensitive issue, but its really not rude to cross the street when about to pass someone.

If its something like that, then I think its just part of why we post on here...to get other opinions and advice. Thats sort of a given when posting here.

JoieGirl7

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Re: Offering unwanted advice or perspectives
« Reply #62 on: October 11, 2010, 05:05:41 PM »
I don't feel that way at all. I am also far from the first poster to start such a thread. I also am not talking about particular posters, but rather a trend.

This "trend" is not new.  I've been on the forum for several years, and this is just how it has pretty much always been.  It is generally understood that when one asks for advice, one takes the good with the bad.  There always have been (and will probably always be) posters whose tones are more abrupt or short than others.  I know that for myself, I don't tend to write with a lot of flourish and I don't approach every situation with kid gloves.  And I don't think I'm all that unusual.

POD.

The trend that I have noticed is more civility; people don't let their feathers get as ruffled as often and there seem to be a lot fewer threads closed because of contentious argument.