Etiquette School is in session! > "So kind of you to take an interest."

What's wrong with being a SAHM/Housewife?

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There's another mom I know as sort of an friendly acquaintance in that we tend to chat in the mornings after dropping our kids off at school, then at 9am we go about our separate ways.   Last spring she got a job working in the cafeteria and started suggesting I look into job openings at the school.   Well I hadn't indicated an interest in finding a job for myself, just said "That would be a cool job" when she mentioned that position.   She said "Oh well I think there's another opening, you should apply!"   I said "Oh no thanks, I'm not looking for work now, just doing the stay at home mom thing until the kids are old enough to stay at home by themselves for a couple hours..."

Well ever since then, everytime she sees a job opening at the school, she tells me about it, saying "Well it'll give you something to do during the day and extra money, right?"   Um, I'm not exactly sitting around eating bonbons all day, I knit, I go out and do errands or go shopping for things it's not convenient to take little boys along to.   I volunteer in their classes when the teachers need me, clean, laundry, stuff like that and I really like my time at home to get things done or just have some time to myself while they're in school and DH is working.   

Today she came up to me while we were waiting for our children to be let out saying in a "Aren't kids funny?" tone that DS1 told me "All mom does all day is sit around and watch tv and email with her friend."  And she suggested I go get an application to work at the school.    ::) 

What would you do?  I laughed and said "Isn't it funny how kids think they know what we do during the day?  I'm not looking for work, now, I'm busy enough making sure that I'll finish knitting DS2's Harry Potter scarf before Halloween!" 

And why is it that some people have such a problem with a woman who likes being a SAHM/housewife in this day and age?   Why is it so hard to believe that a woman can be happy without a job or career in the 21st century?

"Hahaha!  Yes, DS1 is a card!  He also still believes in the tooth fairy, Santa and the Easter Bunny!  We just love his imagination! Oh, well the bus is here. Have a good day working at the school.  I'm off to MY job, too, at my house."

I wouldn't try to explain anything to this woman.  She may be benefiting a lot from the job, and maybe likes you enough to let you in on the great opportunity. But it's simply not in the cards for you right now.   Perhaps next time answer her with something like "A part time job wouldn't fit into my life right now. I appreciate you thinking of me, but you should really pass these tips on to someone who is job hunting instead. This opportunity is wasted on me right now, I could never manage a job with everything else I do right now."   

I've got you one upped (not trying to one up you, because I totally relate).  I am a SAHW.  We don't have kids and you would not believe the looks and judgment I get from people, mostly with a look, 'and you don't have kids?', like I'm a lazy sod. 

I'm sure this other mom's intentions are good, and she might just like the idea of having another mom she knows on the job too, though from the sound of the job (Parent cafeteria monitor substitute) we might not even be working on the same days.   

I just wish some people would take "No thanks" as an answer the first time. 

Cz. Burrito:
Did she need to get this job due to family finances?  If so, she might resent you for being able to make a choice about whether or not to seek outside employment.

Or she might just not understand why somebody would make that choice.  In any case, how annoying!


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