Coworkers' and Supervisors' Social Media Profiles

[Adelaide]

One of my friends has asked me to post this for her, as she wants a community to weigh in on it-I've already given her my opinion of the situation.

My friend has come across a few social media pages for her coworkers and supervisors, including dating pages and blogs. The question is, is everything fair game because it's all public information? Would it be rude to read through a coworker or supervisor's dating profile?

My personal opinion is that while this may technically be public information I would feel strange about reading a supervisor or boss's dating profile on a dating site. I feel like if I wouldn't go up to that person and discuss something to their face (hypothetically, not saying any of their social media comments would organically come up) then I don't want to read it. If they're blogging about a new restaurant in town that's something I would feel fine reading but I don't need to know what they're looking for in a partner or that they like long walks on the beach.

Of course, I don't have strong feelings either way, and I'm curious as to what eHell has to say about it. I also don't have subordinates (and I haven't done online dating) so I can't really reflect on how I would feel if one found a dating profile. I also recognize that my feeling "strange" about it doesn't equate to it being rude.

[Klein Bottle]

I think by now, most people who post online realize that a public profile is just that, and they run the risk that anyone, from their fifth grade teacher to their priest to the janitor at their office, could potentially see it. 

It would not be rude for anyone to read online information. It's tantamount to a billboard on the side of a highway.  This includes coworkers, be they subordinates, superiors, or equivalent in position.

Depending on whose it was, I would probably find it irresistible to read certain profiles.     But, in general, I probably wouldn't even bother, because most people are boring.    

So, the tl;dr here is, not rude, and really imperative on the site user to decide what to put out there for any or all eyes to see.

[sammycat]

I agree with Klein Bottle.

If it's online and the settings are set to public, then it's fair game for anyone who stumbles on it.  If it's important to the account owner to limit the audience, there are certainly ways of doing that, by upping the settings.

My Twitter and Instagram accounts are set to public, but I don't post anything personal on there, not even my name or photo.  But my Facebook has the tightest settings possible as I do post personal things there.

Whether anyone's (public) accounts are considered interesting enough for other people to want to read in the first place, is another matter entirely.

[Surianne]

I don't think there's anything wrong with reading a public profile.  Why is this a problem?  I don't get it.

[GreenBird]

I don't think it's rude to read a public profile.  It is, after all, public.  However, from a practical standpoint, I wouldn't comment on anything or mention anything I'd read.  Even though it's public information, it can still be jarring to have your personal life and work life collide.  And I wouldn't want my supervisor or coworker to feel stalked on social media by me. 

[#borecore]

I don't think it's rude to read a public profile.  It is, after all, public.  However, from a practical standpoint, I wouldn't comment on anything or mention anything I'd read.  Even though it's public information, it can still be jarring to have your personal life and work life collide.  And I wouldn't want my supervisor or coworker to feel stalked on social media by me.

Yeah, nothing wrong with reading it. However, I would only comment or refer to it if the colleague mentioned it to me explicitly.

I just finished a professional degree, and many of my classmates were on dating sites. The unwritten rule was not to mention to them that you were matched unless you actually wanted to date them. I'd stick to that.

That didn't stop close friends from showing each other classmates' goofier photos or saying things like "Did you know he's really into skateboarding? I wouldn't make fun of skaters in front of him." However, in a work setting, I'd avoid even that, even among friends.

[Tea Drinker]

I don't think reading a co-worker's dating profile would be rude, but since commenting on it would be, it's probably prudent not to unless you have very good self-control. I'm not thinking about obviously inappropriate content, but about trying to keep a straight face when someone mentions going to Thai Kitchen when their dating profile gives that as their perfect first date.

[NyaChan]

Read away, but she should be very careful to remember that what she sees could make work life uncomfortable for her.  Imagine she hears someone took a day off for a funeral and then reads that they actually went to an amusement park or that a coworker has strong opinions on controversial subjects that she does not agree with.  Can she be sure she won't let that affect her working relationship with them or cause her trouble if she feels she needs to report something?  She should also consider if she'd be embarrassed if any of them figured out she'd gone through their profiles (like "People who've looked at your page" lists) - I'm pretty sure I would be. 

Ifshe does look through it, even if it is completely innocuous stuff, she should remember not to bring up what she has seen in the work place unless someone has invited her to look first.  I think it would look a little nosy/creepy of her otherwise.

[maksi]

I think it's okay to read them, as they are public. But I wouldn't want to read them: it would feel awkward, like listening on a private conversation that's not meant for you. Even if the people talking should talk behind closed doors, if they wanted to keep it private.

Commenting on anything found out over there would most probably feel really creepy/invasive, not a good idea at all.

[Sharnita]

I think it is a bad idea. It would be hard not to interact as if she knew none of the information. She might even have a hard time keeping track of what she learned from which source.

[Peppergirl]

If I came across a public profile of someone I work with on a da-ting site, whether it be a superior or not, I'd probably just scroll on by.

Not that there's even the slightest thing wrong with reading it (IMO) since it's public, but it's just something I, personally, wouldn't want to do.

Now profiles on Twitter, Instagram, etc?   If they were open and seemed interesting, I'd probably at least skim them, but only if I truly found them interesting.  In other words, I wouldn't peruse a profile just on the basis that they're a coworker.  I'd have to have something grab my attention or interest in order to keep scrolling/reading. 

[miranova]

I ran across my ex's dating profile shortly after we were divorced (and promptly cancelled my one month trial and never made a profile there).  The way he represented himself was....interesting and directly contradicted my experience with him, but to this day he has no idea I saw it.  The etiquette is just to pretend you saw nothing here.  Just like pretending you didn't overhear something that you accidentally overheard.  I imagine this is easier to do if it's just a random coworker, it was a bit more difficult to keep my mouth shut when it came to my ex, but I managed. 

I don't think there is anything wrong with reading it in the slightest.  It's not a private message intended only for a specific person to see.  One can't join a dating website and control who reads their profile.  That's not how it works.

[blarg314]

It's a public profile, so there's nothing wrong with reading it.

I think it would be inappropriate to do things like gossip about it with coworkers, report it to the boss (except in a few rare situations where it has a direct impact on their job), or pass links or photos around.