Stopped my big mouth getting me in trouble!

[nyarlathotep]

At work:

Co-worker: I had no idea when I started working here, but did you know (other Co-worker) is a (lady who enjoys the company of other ladies)?
Me: Er... no, I didn't.
Co-worker: I know! And I'd worked with her and everything!
Me: Right.
Co-worker: I felt kind of violated when I found out.
Me: Right. Wait. What?
Co-worker: Well, all that time I was working with her and didn't know... it's creepy.
Me: ...
Co-worker: I mean she could have fancied me and I'd have known nothing about it.

I wanted to say:

"Don't worry, Co-worker. Unless (other Co-worker) has some kind of irresistible fetish for bigotry, you're probably in the clear."

But I did not!

Instead I gave her a blank, "I'm not sure what you're talking about" look... and she changed the subject! Hooray!

[penguinpants]

You did MUCH better than I did in a similar situation. I'm embarrassed, too, to admit that it was during a class which I was responsible for teaching. The student laughed, but that didn't make it all right. 

[Jan74]

I'd have said "If you had known nothing about it, then it wouldn't be a problem now, would it?" 

[wolfie]

Does she assume all the men she works with secretly fancy her too?

[Jan74]

Does she assume all the men she works with secretly fancy her too?

She KNOWS they do. In fact, any male between the ages of 10 and 100 does. 

[Asharah]

I remember someone once asked Paul McCartney during an interview if he thought John Lennon was bisexual. (This was after John was dead.) Paul responded that he would have expected that if John was bisexual, he would have hit on Paul at least once in all those years. 

[nonesuch4]

I had a similar thing happen at a job a lifetime ago.  A young woman said to me, "I don't know if Joe is ___ or married.  He's really nice, but he makes it clear he's unavailable."

I said, "If he makes it clear he's unavailable, I guess it doesn't matter why, does it?"

[missmolly]

Oh for the love of...

What does she want the coworker to do, get a baseball cap advertising her status? She's not a registered sex offender, she has no obligation to tell people she's attracted to women. I'd say that this falls under SS category, "I deserve to be assured you're not attracted to me more that you deserve privacy!"

[cnhartman2]

lol This reminds me of when I was in high school and one of my best friends came out to me as a lesbian.  She then told me that she had had a crush on me for a while and wanted to know if there was a chance I swung that way, too.  I knew how difficult it was for her to tell me this, so I simply said, "No, but thanks!" (because nothing makes you feel better than knowing someone finds you irresistible!).  I promised not to tell anyone about the conversation and we continued being good friends (this was about seven years ago and we still get together every now and then).  A couple years later, I received a call from a friend the two of us shared.  Apparently she had come out to the rest of the crew.  This mutual friend's response was, "I let her sleep over!  What if she had been trying to get in my pants?"  All I could do was roll my eyes and say, "Uh...yeah.  Sure...."  I never mentioned the conversation we had had when she first came out.  But every once in a while, I think about it and giggle a little.  Some people are really clueless when it comes to things like that.  I mean, just because someone's gay, that doesn't immediately mean they want you.  I don't want every guy I meet just because I'm straight!

[Fliss]

You were much more controlled than I would have been. My natural flair for sarcasm would have excelled itself.

[FoxPaws]

Good for you! I LOVE Complete Silence. I've found it to be a situation saver, a relationship saver, and a job saver. (Can you tell my own big mouth has gotten me into trouble more than once in the past? )

Let's hope your coworker taps into its power soon. Where I work, gossiping about a colleague's orientation is grounds for termination.

[Danismom]

Complete silence was probably the best answer.  After all, snarky would've said "Oh, no!  And I guess you can't work with any straight men either since they might be hot for you too!!"

[MrsO]

That's crazy! You did much, much better than I would have...I really don't think I'd have been able to hold my tongue. Some people.

[Rosey]

I had a similar thing happen at a job a lifetime ago.  A young woman said to me, "I don't know if Joe is ___ or married.  He's really nice, but he makes it clear he's unavailable."

I said, "If he makes it clear he's unavailable, I guess it doesn't matter why, does it?"

This is a great response!

[Ms_Shell]

Some people are really clueless when it comes to things like that.  I mean, just because someone's g*a*y, that doesn't immediately mean they want you.  I don't want every guy I meet just because I'm straight!

I have noticed this too!  It's very interesting isn't it?  As soon as someone expresses non-hetero orientation it's like "what if he/she likes me??" when you wouldn't attribute that to a hetero person.  It really doesn't make any sense when you think about it.  No one automatically thinks hetero people are attracted to everyone he or she meets but as soon as you're not hetero, you just can't help yourself. 

And the funny thing is, a lot of the men in particular who express this worry are....ahem...less than attractive.  I always feel like saying, "Don't worry - non-hetero guys are just as shallow about looks as their straight counterparts.  You're in the clear."  Of course, I never would.