Etiquette School is in session! > "So kind of you to take an interest."

You're not my mother!!!

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Skoffin:
My boyfriend and I have had new flatmates for the past couple of months, there have been a few issues but I'll start with the one bothering me now.

I'm starting to feel picked on by them, likely that is not their intent but it's what they make me feel. They'll be telling me what I should be doing and what I shouldn't be.
At the moment I do not have work, but they will make comments such as just after my boyfriend got a job recently "Now you just need to find work and then you can contribute to the household!", general comments about I should get work like everyone else there, I should keep looking etc.
Aside from feeling like a put down my financials are also none of their business. whether I have an income or not has no bearing on them so I don't see why they think they should be remarking on it.

The more common one is in regard to my health. They will tell me to have more fruit/vegetables, tell my boyfriend to put more vegetables into my food and 'make her eat it' and so forth. So every so often I get told to eat fruit or something, or she will pass by my door on her way out and tell me to eat whateveritis. A couple of nights ago I went to had a chocolate snack in hand, and one came over to pull it out of my hands and tell me 'No you have to eat a banana first!' while essentially knocking me over and piling on top of me. Maybe it's all fun and games to them, but it made me feel bad and humiliated. I ended up just being annoyed the rest of the night. There's currently a note on the fridge (god I hate all the notes on that fridge) with my name on it and days of the week and fruit and vegetable on it. One night has been ticked because I ate my fruit and veg that day  ::)
Another one was I came into the kitchen while one flatmate and my boyfriend were talking. It came to the topic of teeth, and she made a comment on that general misconception of a stereotype about British people and their teeth. I pointed out that that stereotype was proven wrong, that actually they have among the best teeth in the world, if not the best. She then got my boyfriend to show her his perfect teeth, then wanted to see mine. I said no, as I have bad teeth and do not like showing them. She then goes on to tell me that it's because of all the cola I drink etc.

Arrrgh, these things are no one elses business but my own or perhaps my boyfriends. I just want these matters left alone. How should I go about getting them off my back?  ???

Kittymama:
I think this is a rather cold, "How kind of you to take an interest," or "Thanks for your concern," situation. Which you already know, because you posted it in this folder. So have you tried it?

hobish:

Oh, boy. That would seriously tick me off. The way you phrased that sounds like it is your (and boyfriend's?) place and they are staying with you? I'd likely bring that up if it were me and suggest that if they couldn't mind their own business when it came to my finances and diet maybe the living situation was not going to work out. I would definitely quietly remove the little note from the fridge. You say maybe it is all fun and games ... are they aware you no longer think it is funny (if you ever did?)?

Only me:
Hi

I see them bullying and harrassing you.

I would put "you need to" :) but I really suggest nip it in the butt now. Say something, politely if possible, about it not being their business. Thank them for their concern but its not something up for discussion.

Onlyme

Rosgrana:
Evil Rosgrana wants you to put a chart on the fridge headed "Rude Comments About Things That Are Not (Name)'s Business" and columns to tick for "Skoffin's Food" "Skoffin's Health" and "Skoffin's Finances".  >:D

Evil Rosgrana does not play well with others.

To be a bit more serious, what about planning with your boyfriend to sit the new flatmates down and say that you think you will all get on better, and there'll be less friction, if your private lives aren't up for discussion. You could list a selection of off-limits topics, such as relationship advice, food, religion, finances, political views, medical matters, etc.

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