Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Bat Mitzvah/Bar Mitzvah Opinion

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NAOMI169:
I am doing this post looking for opinions and past experiences with successes and failures.  My husband and I are beginning to plan our daughter's Bat Mitzvah for June of 2008. 1st off let me say this will not be mega fancy, but, geared towards family and friends.  My daughter, 12 (and her sister, 9, and their brother, 8,) are extremely close with ALL the kids in our neighborhood.  The kids (10 of them, 3 different families) range in age from newborn to 6 years of age.  My husband mentioned casually to his Mom the other night that we were thinking of inviting all the neighbors (who we are close with) and their kids to the ceremony and the reception.  My Mother-In-Law (I do love her dearly) was quite adamant that we should limit the children to immediate family and in short by pass the kids in the neighborhood.  I must add, we are paying; she is not.  I think the swelling in my tongue has started to subside.  I must mention that the children in the so called "immediate family" we see once or twice per year; the kids' birthday and Christmas Eve dinner (that's a topic for a different post).  My kids know who they are and are fond of them, but, they in no way spend the time with them that they do with the kids in the neighborhood.  I'd love to hear pro's and con's on my situation.

chigger:
Your party, your money, YOU decide the guest list.  None of you MIL business.

Jaywalker:
time to stop discussing details with your MIL -- not her party -- do what you think will be most memorable for your daughter

if she wants to discuss guest lists, it is 'oh that is under control'  and move the discussion to the Torah portion or something else that she can talk about but not influence

can't imagine this is about 'pros and cons' -- it seems like it is about meddlesome MILs who have no business being pushy about such things

caranfin:
Stop discussing this with your MIL immediately. If she brings it up, tell her "it's under control." If she mentions the guest list, tell her "we'll invite who is important." And then change the subject!

Chivewarrior:
Yes, just invite whoever you want to invite, especially if your daughters are closer to these neighbors than to the immediate family children.

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