Author Topic: Marissa Jaret Winokur / Open car door in a parking lot  (Read 8462 times)

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TeamBhakta

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Marissa Jaret Winokur / Open car door in a parking lot
« on: October 29, 2010, 04:36:11 PM »
Melissa Jaret Winkours / Celebrity Babies blog post

BG: Marissa was in the preschool parking lot, putting shoes on her son who was still in his car seat. Another mom asked Marissa to close her car door so she (the other mom) can pull her car out. Cue back and forth about "one sec" vs "I'm in a rush", ending with Marissa closing the door and then realizing her son and the keys are locked in the car.

So here's the etiquette question: Is one obligated to close a car door to let someone else move their car ? Does it matter if one is putting shoes on a child or otherwise occupied at the time ?
« Last Edit: October 29, 2010, 04:41:19 PM by TeamBhakta »

jimithing

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Re: Marissa Jaret Winokur / Open car door in a parking lot
« Reply #1 on: October 29, 2010, 04:54:25 PM »
Melissa Jaret Winkours / Celebrity Babies blog post

BG: Marissa was in the preschool parking lot, putting shoes on her son who was still in his car seat. Another mom asked Marissa to close her car door so she (the other mom) can pull her car out. Cue back and forth about "one sec" vs "I'm in a rush", ending with Marissa closing the door and then realizing her son and the keys are locked in the car.

So here's the etiquette question: Is one obligated to close a car door to let someone else move their car ? Does it matter if one is putting shoes on a child or otherwise occupied at the time ?

Her post left a bad taste in my mouth. I am not a mom, but her reaction to her son being locked in the car seems like an overreaction to me. But perhaps I am just clueless?

It just seemed the whole tone of the article was how much of an outcast she is and how all the other mean mommies were judging her and no one helped and how horrible every single person at that school is, and how the mean mommies were judging her because of what she wears, not because she was causing such a scene.

As far as your question with the door, I've always felt that the person who has the door open should close it for a second, or make room for the person who has to quickly get in or out of the car. She could have been doing whatever she was doing for 5 minutes, while the person moving in or our takes 10 seconds.
« Last Edit: October 29, 2010, 05:24:27 PM by jimithing »

Judah

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Re: Marissa Jaret Winokur / Open car door in a parking lot
« Reply #2 on: October 29, 2010, 05:08:51 PM »
Her post left a bad taste in my mouth. I am not a mom, but her reaction to her son being locked in the car seems like an overreaction to me. But perhaps I am just clueless?

Well, I am a mom and I think she way over-reacted. 


As far as your question with the door, I've always felt that the person who has the door open should close it for a second, or make room for the person who has to quickly get in or out of the car. She could have been doing whatever she was doing for 5 minutes, while the person moving in or our takes 10 seconds.

And I agree with this.  If there are plentiful parking spots available, it would be nice if the other driver used one, but otherwise, you should close your door long enough to let the driver pull in and get out of their car.
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Audrey Quest

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Re: Marissa Jaret Winokur / Open car door in a parking lot
« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2010, 05:18:51 PM »
Melissa Jaret Winkours / Celebrity Babies blog post

BG: Marissa was in the preschool parking lot, putting shoes on her son who was still in his car seat. Another mom asked Marissa to close her car door so she (the other mom) can pull her car out. Cue back and forth about "one sec" vs "I'm in a rush", ending with Marissa closing the door and then realizing her son and the keys are locked in the car.

So here's the etiquette question: Is one obligated to close a car door to let someone else move their car ? Does it matter if one is putting shoes on a child or otherwise occupied at the time ?

Sooo, not only are other people supposed to wait for her to finish dressing her kid in the car but they are supposed to solve a series of problems that she creates herself in response to that.
 
I am struck by her entitlement attitude, not only of "just a sec" but of calling the woman rude who asked her to close her door in the first place.  Trying to link this to the bullying issue that everyone is talking about just makes her look even worse.
 
The answer to the question is yes, you need to close your door and not continue dressing your child in the car in the parking lot when someone is waiting.  You only get to use the parking space you are parked in and not the ones next to it at the same time, especially during a rush time.
 
I can understand getting flustered and locking your kid and your keys in the car.  Had it been me and I was worried about my kid, I would have looked up a locksmith on my phone and called them to come and open the car--or broken a window.  Either way, its an expensive mistake to make.
 
But, she would not have become flustered and made the mistake in the first place had she not had the attitude that the world revolves around her and her son and that other people are rude for also needing to use a parking space.
 
As far as the mommy bullying club--I was bullied by other mom's or maybe just "a mom" at my youngest son's preschool.  I don't know if it was a group or a single individual because the director would not tell me.
 
In contrast to the other mothers, I was not as wealthy, my car was an old junker and I showed up in sweat pants to drop my kid off instead of the expensive twin sets that the other mothers wore.  I was also younger by 5-10 years.
 
What happened to me though was that someone or others were watching my actions every moment and reporting and gossiping to the director of the school.
 
I was already having problems on a regular basis with my son not wanting to be there.  He was very clingy and I didn't find out until years later why he hated his teacher so much.  That's why he didn't want to stay, it wasn't the typical clingy kid.  He was my third, so it wasn't like I hadn't been through it already.
 
But, what brought it to a head was one morning, I was running late, and the class was to have a field trip that day.  I had signed up to drive.
 
When I got there it was chaos, with kids getting their "pennies" on and ride lists being handed out.
 
Apparently, no one wanted to be in my junker car so I was not going to be a driver unless I only wanted to drive my own kid.
 
I went into the room and the teacher handed me my son's "penny" to put it on him, but she wouldn't let go of it.  She was literally holding it out for me to take, I had the bottom and she had the top and she was doing this to manipulate my attention in the moment to tell me that no one wanted their kid in my car.
 
Apparently, she was concerned that this would upset me.  Well, I could have cared less.  I was just embarrassed for being late and wanted to put the penny on my kid.  I never cared about those other mothers and their cliques and if they didn't want their kids in my junker, I could understand that.  If I had had enough money to buy a nicer car, I would not have been driving it either!
 
So, she tells me this and I am nodding my head and trying to get the penny from her and kind of confused as to why she won't let it go.  Finally, she does, I put it on my son.
 
Later, I am called into the director's office and told that another mother had complained about my "altercation" with the teacher, that I had ripped the penny out of her hands and that this was just the tip of the iceberg in terms of my "behavior" at the school.   ???
 
I hadn't even been aware that I was being judged and talked about behind my back.   I really didn't care to compete with these other mommies as I did not have the financial resources to do so and with 3 small children to take care of every day, preschool was just an opportunity for me to have some time off.
 
The director would not tell me who it was that was talking about me, but she agreed to put a stop to the gossip--once I pointed out how every thing she had mentioned was just gossip.

But, it was certainly a hard lesson to learn that the pretty mommies in their pretty clothes were pretty ugly when it came to their own social behavior.
 
And I found out years later that the reason my son hated his teacher so much was because she would kiss every child as they went out the door.  He HATED being kissed by her and there was no way for him to avoid it.  Every child had to go through that door and she was there to give every single one a kiss on the cheek before leaving.
 
And they made me feel that the problem was with my son.  I never noticed her doing this in all the time he was there.  And years later, it still makes me angry.  It was a financial hardship just to pay for that school and then to be treated like that and find out how my son was treated.
 
That teacher later became the director of the whole school.

Audrey Quest

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Re: Marissa Jaret Winokur / Open car door in a parking lot
« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2010, 05:21:56 PM »
Melissa Jaret Winkours / Celebrity Babies blog post

BG: Marissa was in the preschool parking lot, putting shoes on her son who was still in his car seat. Another mom asked Marissa to close her car door so she (the other mom) can pull her car out. Cue back and forth about "one sec" vs "I'm in a rush", ending with Marissa closing the door and then realizing her son and the keys are locked in the car.

So here's the etiquette question: Is one obligated to close a car door to let someone else move their car ? Does it matter if one is putting shoes on a child or otherwise occupied at the time ?

Her post left a bad taste in my mouth. I am not a mom, but her reaction to her son being locked in the car seems like an overreaction to me. But perhaps I am just clueless?

When the police tell you they think you are too upset to drive because of something like this, its definitely an OTT reaction.
 

hyzenthlay

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Re: Marissa Jaret Winokur / Open car door in a parking lot
« Reply #5 on: October 29, 2010, 05:31:00 PM »
The primary purpose of a parking lot is the parking, and unparking of cars, not shoeing your child.

She should have closed (or made motions to close) the door as soon as the other person approached her car.


That said, I feel like a dropped a few IQ points reading that mess. What a completely unlikeable person. It's no wonder the other 'mommies' don't want to talk to her.

Squeaks

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Re: Marissa Jaret Winokur / Open car door in a parking lot
« Reply #6 on: October 29, 2010, 05:48:46 PM »
I do think the door should be closed, or at least closed to with in the boarders of their own space.

However,  I also think that if you are trying to park and there are other spaces reasonably available,  you really should either use one of those or wait politely if you really want that space. Sometimes "stuff" happens, if you have an alternative, try to be nice to the people and let them deal.  (trapping someone in the space is an entirely different matter). 

I actually don't think "one sec" is always an unreasonable answer though.  I may say something to alert the person to my being there but still say "take your time" as i don't mind waiting a little to be nice, i just want them to know i am there.  There may be somewhat practical reasons why closing the door may take longer than just the "one sec" to finish up.   

As for her reaction.  A co-worker did this at day care just a couple weeks ago.  Yes she was crying and upset, but no 911 was called (temperate day and sleeping baby).  She told the day care, they watched the baby, she walked to a fire station near by and was told they were closed and no one was there (we are still trying to figure that one out) so another employee gave her a ride to her house to get a second set of keys, who ironically had done the same thing when their child was the same age.  She said everyone but one person was very nice and understanding, except one when she got back who she felt was a bit judging, but co-worker was quick to add she may well have just been defensive and upset at that point.  So not all moms completely over react, and no one seemed to be hostile or upset.


Audrey Quest

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Re: Marissa Jaret Winokur / Open car door in a parking lot
« Reply #7 on: October 29, 2010, 05:55:07 PM »
I actually don't think "one sec" is always an unreasonable answer though.  I may say something to alert the person to my being there but still say "take your time" as i don't mind waiting a little to be nice, i just want them to know i am there.  There may be somewhat practical reasons why closing the door may take longer than just the "one sec" to finish up.   

I think the problem was that it wasn't taking "one sec."
 
Who knows how long she had been waiting before she asked her to shut the door?

Squeaks

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Re: Marissa Jaret Winokur / Open car door in a parking lot
« Reply #8 on: October 29, 2010, 06:04:13 PM »
I actually don't think "one sec" is always an unreasonable answer though.  I may say something to alert the person to my being there but still say "take your time" as i don't mind waiting a little to be nice, i just want them to know i am there.  There may be somewhat practical reasons why closing the door may take longer than just the "one sec" to finish up.   

I think the problem was that it wasn't taking "one sec."
 
Who knows how long she had been waiting before she asked her to shut the door?

If the person needing her to moved had been waiting but did not say anything that is their problem.  I can very well see how a mom working on kid shoes may not see behind them that someone is waiting.

Granted I think cranky child likely would not have been one sec to put shoes on, but i was responding in general that it is not always automatically rude to respond "one sec" 

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Re: Marissa Jaret Winokur / Open car door in a parking lot
« Reply #9 on: October 29, 2010, 06:07:36 PM »
If the person was pulling into a spot, and they were able to park in another spot elsewhere I would agree that they were a bit rude, but in this case they were trying to pull OUT not in. She says they are rude because she is preventing someone else from leaving. Nope, the rude one is her!

hyzenthlay

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Re: Marissa Jaret Winokur / Open car door in a parking lot
« Reply #10 on: October 29, 2010, 06:11:25 PM »
Granted I think cranky child likely would not have been one sec to put shoes on, but i was responding in general that it is not always automatically rude to respond "one sec" 

I would accept 'I'm sorry I'll be just a moment' but 'one sec' sounds really dismissive unless you are actively gathering things and about to shut the door. And it didn't sound like she was that close.

Plus she appeared to call the other mom rude for asking her to close the door . . . that's not rude  ???


Audrey Quest

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Re: Marissa Jaret Winokur / Open car door in a parking lot
« Reply #11 on: October 29, 2010, 06:13:41 PM »
I actually don't think "one sec" is always an unreasonable answer though.  I may say something to alert the person to my being there but still say "take your time" as i don't mind waiting a little to be nice, i just want them to know i am there.  There may be somewhat practical reasons why closing the door may take longer than just the "one sec" to finish up.   

I think the problem was that it wasn't taking "one sec."
 
Who knows how long she had been waiting before she asked her to shut the door?

If the person needing her to moved had been waiting but did not say anything that is their problem.  I can very well see how a mom working on kid shoes may not see behind them that someone is waiting.

Granted I think cranky child likely would not have been one sec to put shoes on, but i was responding in general that it is not always automatically rude to respond "one sec" 

I don't think it was specifically saying "one sec" that is rude in the first place.  A lot of times, we are just going to take a sec to finish up something, or to secure things so we can get out of the way for a moment to let the other person out.
 
The woman trying to get out here was in a rush and told Winokur as much.  Winokur's response was "Oh fine!"
 
So, at first it was "just a sec" and then the person trying to get out clarified that she was in a hurry.  So, I agree that in general "one sec" is not rude.  But, I think, in this situation that Winokur's overall attitude was rude.

Winterlight

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Re: Marissa Jaret Winokur / Open car door in a parking lot
« Reply #12 on: October 29, 2010, 06:18:09 PM »
I think she needs to calm down and observe the Coke rule, personally. This comes off as a hysterical tantrum rather than a reasoned statement. Also:

Quote
Just to be clear, my husband was very grateful I started working again — because it meant I’d wash my hair and change my clothes.

I admit it- if you show up reeking and filthy in public, I'm likely to judge you. Now, if you're a construction worker coming off shift that's one thing, but it sounds like she just can't be bothered. Plus she's being snide about moms who do take pride in their appearance, in a post that's talking about being supportive of other moms.  ::)

And if you're screaming like a fire alarm in the middle of a crowded parking lot, do you really expect no one to notice? Someone did try to calm her down and she claims that person was only doing it to rubberneck. Everyone else stays out of the way and she claims they were judging her. What were they supposed to do?
« Last Edit: October 29, 2010, 06:48:47 PM by Winterlight »
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Re: Marissa Jaret Winokur / Open car door in a parking lot
« Reply #13 on: October 29, 2010, 07:24:45 PM »
This is a celebrity, right?

I mean, I've never heard of her....
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Re: Marissa Jaret Winokur / Open car door in a parking lot
« Reply #14 on: October 29, 2010, 09:00:26 PM »
Wow, this is a painful post. She flipped out because her son was stuck in the car right in front of her in broad daylight? In a place she presumably knew to be safe?

Plus there's something a little bizarre about being out in pajamas, ratty hair, last night's makeup, and barefoot. I don't exactly put on my Sunday best to take my daughter to preschool on days that I work from home, but I make sure I'm at least as presentable as I would want to be if I had to, say, talk to a police officer.  ;)

She was screaming, hysterical, crying, and she didn't understand why none of the other mothers were talking to her? If anything, it sounds like her reaction could only have made her son's reaction worse.

I'm a very sensitive person where my daughter is concerned, and my daughter is the same age as Winokur's son, but let's be serious. They aren't brand new. They aren't dumb. And they aren't (usually) able to unstrap themselves from a carseat. If I can see through the window and don't have reason to worry about the oxygen level inside the car while I wait for AAA or the police, I think we'll be okay.