Melissa Jaret Winkours / Celebrity Babies blog post
BG: Marissa was in the preschool parking lot, putting shoes on her son who was still in his car seat. Another mom asked Marissa to close her car door so she (the other mom) can pull her car out. Cue back and forth about "one sec" vs "I'm in a rush", ending with Marissa closing the door and then realizing her son and the keys are locked in the car.
So here's the etiquette question: Is one obligated to close a car door to let someone else move their car ? Does it matter if one is putting shoes on a child or otherwise occupied at the time ?
Sooo, not only are other people supposed to wait for her to finish dressing her kid in the car but they are supposed to solve a series of problems that she creates herself in response to that.
I am struck by her entitlement attitude, not only of "just a sec" but of calling the woman rude who asked her to close her door in the first place. Trying to link this to the bullying issue that everyone is talking about just makes her look even worse.
The answer to the question is yes, you need to close your door and not continue dressing your child in the car in the parking lot when someone is waiting. You only get to use the parking space you are parked in and not the ones next to it at the same time, especially during a rush time.
I can understand getting flustered and locking your kid and your keys in the car. Had it been me and I was worried about my kid, I would have looked up a locksmith on my phone and called them to come and open the car--or broken a window. Either way, its an expensive mistake to make.
But, she would not have become flustered and made the mistake in the first place had she not had the attitude that the world revolves around her and her son and that other people are rude for also needing to use a parking space.
As far as the mommy bullying club--I was bullied by other mom's or maybe just "a mom" at my youngest son's preschool. I don't know if it was a group or a single individual because the director would not tell me.
In contrast to the other mothers, I was not as wealthy, my car was an old junker and I showed up in sweat pants to drop my kid off instead of the expensive twin sets that the other mothers wore. I was also younger by 5-10 years.
What happened to me though was that someone or others were watching my actions every moment and reporting and gossiping to the director of the school.
I was already having problems on a regular basis with my son not wanting to be there. He was very clingy and I didn't find out until years later why he hated his teacher so much. That's why he didn't want to stay, it wasn't the typical clingy kid. He was my third, so it wasn't like I hadn't been through it already.
But, what brought it to a head was one morning, I was running late, and the class was to have a field trip that day. I had signed up to drive.
When I got there it was chaos, with kids getting their "pennies" on and ride lists being handed out.
Apparently, no one wanted to be in my junker car so I was not going to be a driver unless I only wanted to drive my own kid.
I went into the room and the teacher handed me my son's "penny" to put it on him, but she wouldn't let go of it. She was literally holding it out for me to take, I had the bottom and she had the top and she was doing this to manipulate my attention in the moment to tell me that no one wanted their kid in my car.
Apparently, she was concerned that this would upset me. Well, I could have cared less. I was just embarrassed for being late and wanted to put the penny on my kid. I never cared about those other mothers and their cliques and if they didn't want their kids in my junker, I could understand that. If I had had enough money to buy a nicer car, I would not have been driving it either!
So, she tells me this and I am nodding my head and trying to get the penny from her and kind of confused as to why she won't let it go. Finally, she does, I put it on my son.
Later, I am called into the director's office and told that another mother had complained about my "altercation" with the teacher, that I had ripped the penny out of her hands and that this was just the tip of the iceberg in terms of my "behavior" at the school.
I hadn't even been aware that I was being judged and talked about behind my back. I really didn't care to compete with these other mommies as I did not have the financial resources to do so and with 3 small children to take care of every day, preschool was just an opportunity for me to have some time off.
The director would not tell me who it was that was talking about me, but she agreed to put a stop to the gossip--once I pointed out how every thing she had mentioned was just gossip.
But, it was certainly a hard lesson to learn that the pretty mommies in their pretty clothes were pretty ugly when it came to their own social behavior.
And I found out years later that the reason my son hated his teacher so much was because she would kiss every child as they went out the door. He HATED being kissed by her and there was no way for him to avoid it. Every child had to go through that door and she was there to give every single one a kiss on the cheek before leaving.
And they made me feel that the problem was with my son. I never noticed her doing this in all the time he was there. And years later, it still makes me angry. It was a financial hardship just to pay for that school and then to be treated like that and find out how my son was treated.
That teacher later became the director of the whole school.