Marissa Jaret Winokur / Open car door in a parking lot

[Wendy Moira Angela Pan]

POD!
 
I watched a movie the other day and kept thinking--who are these people?  They are apparently well known, but not by me--and the movie was kind of crappy...
[/quote]

I'm 23, and that's exactly how I feel when I listen to the radio.

[Wonderflonium]

I don't have children, but I'd cut her a little slack for her panic.  She had also accidentally locked her cell phone in the car.  being barefoot and locked out of her car had to make her feel completely out of control.

But it's not like she was in some remote area all alone. She was in a parking lot full of people outside of a school full of people. It wasn't that much of a disaster.

I wonder if she ever thought that no one came up to comfort her because she was acting insane? I would have stayed far away.

And I'm sorry, but I too would judge her if most of the time she didn't even bother to shower and came to school looking like a hot mess. Wash your face, pull back your hair, throw on some clothes (are jeans and a t-shirt that hard), and go. Pajamas with unbrushed hair and last night's make-up? One time, OK, but all the time, yeah, I'd think she really didn't have her act together.

[MrsO]

And I'm sorry, but I too would judge her if most of the time she didn't even bother to shower and came to school looking like a hot mess. Wash your face, pull back your hair, throw on some clothes (are jeans and a t-shirt that hard), and go. Pajamas with unbrushed hair and last night's make-up? One time, OK, but all the time, yeah, I'd think she really didn't have her act together.

I hate to admit to being judgemental, but honestly, I feel the same. :/
I consider myself a fairly disorganised mum. I'll find myself rummaging for matching school socks at 8.20 in the morning, forget to send in their PE kit every now and again, and this morning I forgot to hand DD her lunch box at the gates and didn't realise until I was back home (and had to walk the 15 minutes back to school with it before lunch time ). But even I manage to throw on some jeans and a t-shirt, wash my face and drag my hair into a ponytail of a morning. My kids don't leave the house without shoes on (although we walk to school, which may have something to do with it ) but last nights make up, PJs and no shoes, regularly? Even I'm not that bad.

[kingsrings]

Got a question about Marissa - I read recently in an interview with her, she claims she was fired from 'Dancing With the Stars'. Can anyone refresh my memory on the details? Because I remember watching that season, and thinking that she was merely voted off/eliminated eventually.

[Jan74]

Got a question about Marissa - I read recently in an interview with her, she claims she was fired from 'Dancing With the Stars'. Can anyone refresh my memory on the details? Because I remember watching that season, and thinking that she was merely voted off/eliminated eventually.

I think she means fired from Dance Your Patootie Off (I did my own word filter there, do you like it?). She was replaced with Mel B, aka Scary Spice, for season 2.

[DangerMouth]

I went back and re-read the article and wow, she just sounds so full of herself. The whole article seems to be an opportunity to scrape her finger at "mommy bullies"; One moment she is bemoaning that 'we moms' should stick together, and then turns on the person who tried to be nice to her:

"I could feel the moms’ judging looks piercing through me. One mom tried to make me feel better, but I think it was really just to get a closer look!"

I mean really? 

And the woman is automatically rude for asking if she can get by: "A rude mom asks if I can shut the door so she can get out. I say, “One sec.” Then she said, “I’m in a rush,” so I say, “Oh fine!”

“Call 911, call 911,” I start screaming. The secretary comes out and says, “Call AAA.” I just know that will take too long. I cry, “Call 911!” I start losing my cool … so now my son and I are both crying. I tell the secretary, “I’ll just break a window,” thinking that would make her realize how serious I am. It works! I hear the sirens coming."

First of all, I'm not even a mom, and even I know kids will take their cues from the adults around them. There was no reason for the crying and screaming, all it did was upset the kid. He was in no danger, just terrified because his mom was acting like a hysterical drama tweener.

Also, I've locked my keys in the car, 50 miles from home and not having AA. Breaking the window was exactly what I did. If my 17 year old self could afford to replace a window, I'm sure Ms Celebrity could, too. That would have been my first response, not used as some 'threat' to a secretary.

'I mean it. Call 911, or say goodbye to Mr. Window!'

[Everlee]

I locked DD1 in the car when she was about 16 months old.  We had gone to get our Xmas pics done and wanted to go to Wal-Mart.  Husband turned the car off and got out, but forgot the keys.  So there I was, parked all the way at the end of the lot, 7 months pregnant and trying my hardest to calm a screaming baby.  I just ran into Wal-Mart and they called some company to come help us.  I was upset of course since it was pretty cold out and all she had on was her fancy Xmas dress and a coat, but screaming and yelling wouldn't help any so why do it?  After about 15 minutes husband finally remembered the alarm code and all was fine.
I also don't understand why she says she goes to school dressed like that, but then complains when people stare at her.  I have to take DD2 to kindergarten every day and haul my 3 year old along, too and I have never once worn pajamas.  If I don't have time to brush my hair I just put it back in a ponytail.  Not that there's anything wrong with just wearing the clothes you roll out of bed with (I rarely get DD2 out of her pj's since they're warmer than her jeans), but I'm assuming from her post that it's a regular thing.
I think she's just looking for people to judge her, honestly. 

[sparksals]

I do think the door should be closed, or at least closed to with in the boarders of their own space.

However,  I also think that if you are trying to park and there are other spaces reasonably available,  you really should either use one of those or wait politely if you really want that space. Sometimes "stuff" happens, if you have an alternative, try to be nice to the people and let them deal.  (trapping someone in the space is an entirely different matter). 

I actually don't think "one sec" is always an unreasonable answer though.  I may say something to alert the person to my being there but still say "take your time" as i don't mind waiting a little to be nice, i just want them to know i am there.  There may be somewhat practical reasons why closing the door may take longer than just the "one sec" to finish up.   

As for her reaction.  A co-worker did this at day care just a couple weeks ago.  Yes she was crying and upset, but no 911 was called (temperate day and sleeping baby).  She told the day care, they watched the baby, she walked to a fire station near by and was told they were closed and no one was there (we are still trying to figure that one out) so another employee gave her a ride to her house to get a second set of keys, who ironically had done the same thing when their child was the same age.  She said everyone but one person was very nice and understanding, except one when she got back who she felt was a bit judging, but co-worker was quick to add she may well have just been defensive and upset at that point.  So not all moms completely over react, and no one seemed to be hostile or upset.

From the blog, it appears the other parker was trying to get out - either out of the car or out of the parking spot.  I don't think it is unreasonable to park beside another car in any situation.  What was unreasonable is shoeing the kid and expecting other people to wait for her to finish when they were either trying to get out of their car or the parking spot.

[sparksals]

If the person was pulling into a spot, and they were able to park in another spot elsewhere I would agree that they were a bit rude, but in this case they were trying to pull OUT not in. She says they are rude because she is preventing someone else from leaving. Nope, the rude one is her!

Why on earth is it rude to park beside another car?  That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard!  I will take the first free parking space as close to my destination as possible.  I'm not going to park further down if I don't have to.

[sparksals]

  OK once or twice in the winter I dropped my son of at school in my pajamas , I did comb my hair , have shoes on and an full length over coat oh and he was 8 so I didn't have to get out of the car. 

I have also locked him in the car , I had a keypad entry it took a few tries but I got it opened.  If not, I would have called the police nonemergency number and requested they come and open the door it was years ago so they would and could open most cars at that time. AAA did tend to take 40-90 minutes to send someone for emergencies but I never ask them come unlock a baby. BTW at just 2 there would of been a good chance he cold of unlocked the door for me , if he was almost 3 I would have expect my son to unlock the door. She was way OTT and what could anyone else have done , were all the other moms in a locksmith union?

I do think it's rude to block other people from leaving/enter a parking space because you have to have the door fully open for an extended period of time to dress a child or even wrestle with one. I know it takes sometime to get a baby out , I always mamaged to park with a little extra room on the baby side and not have to open the door ALL the way and could just hold the door almost closed while standing near the car so someone else could maneuver or pop into the backseat and close the door.  I was guessing too that the other mom had already waited a few second if not minutes to get out , it's shoes on a toddler throwing a tantrum it never takes "just a sec".
 

This.  The rude action is to delay someone from entering or exiting a parking spot.  It is not rude to take a parking spot that is available next to someone wrangling a child or groceries or whatever.  It is courtesy to shut the door slightly, doesn't have to be all the way, and turn sideways to allow the car to exit and enter.

[DangerMouth]

I do think the door should be closed, or at least closed to with in the boarders of their own space.

However,  I also think that if you are trying to park and there are other spaces reasonably available,  you really should either use one of those or wait politely if you really want that space. Sometimes "stuff" happens, if you have an alternative, try to be nice to the people and let them deal.  (trapping someone in the space is an entirely different matter). 

I actually don't think "one sec" is always an unreasonable answer though.  I may say something to alert the person to my being there but still say "take your time" as i don't mind waiting a little to be nice, i just want them to know i am there.  There may be somewhat practical reasons why closing the door may take longer than just the "one sec" to finish up.   

As for her reaction.  A co-worker did this at day care just a couple weeks ago.  Yes she was crying and upset, but no 911 was called (temperate day and sleeping baby).  She told the day care, they watched the baby, she walked to a fire station near by and was told they were closed and no one was there (we are still trying to figure that one out) so another employee gave her a ride to her house to get a second set of keys, who ironically had done the same thing when their child was the same age.  She said everyone but one person was very nice and understanding, except one when she got back who she felt was a bit judging, but co-worker was quick to add she may well have just been defensive and upset at that point.  So not all moms completely over react, and no one seemed to be hostile or upset.

From the blog, it appears the other parker was trying to get out - either out of the car or out of the parking spot.  I don't think it is unreasonable to park beside another car in any situation.  What was unreasonable is shoeing the kid and expecting other people to wait for her to finish when they were either trying to get out of their car or the parking spot.

This. At my niece's grade school, there are far more cars than there are spaces for. Taking up 2 because you can't be bothered to dress your kid at home is just rude, and calling another parent rude for asking if she could get by is is an extremely entitled attitude.

[sparksals]

I don't think so. I thought AAA was more like an agency of mechanics that they would contact for you and then work it out. Plus you have to have an AAA account before the problem presents itself, don't you? Or you have to create an account when it happens if you don't already have one?

Luxury car complimentary roadside assistance comes with buying the car. It's a guaranteed service that, wherever you are, they can and will help you in a reasonably short period of time. If it's an emergency, they will be that much faster. They already have the people in place. Also, because most luxury car lines have "lower" (sotospeak) lines as well, there is almost always a dealership nearby that can help.

AAA is nice, but I think luxury roadside assistance is a you-get-what-you-pay-for situation. If I paid $50,000 for a basic four-door sedan model of a car (meaning a luxury line sedan), I'm not looking for a break in price when I need a tire changed on the side of the road. I'm lookiing for much more.

Lexus, for example, will not just send help. Let's say Winokur had broken the window. Lexus would send someone to do a temporary repair, take the car away, and leave a Lexus rental car in its place. You would not be charged for the on-location temporary repair (if you needed the window covered to protect the interior from rain or something), the towing, or the delivery of the rental car. You would only be charged for the repairs and the use of the rental car itself.

You're correct that you would need a membership in advance and that the service would be performed through a local mechanic rather than a AAA-owned service. Basically, you would call AAA and tell them you were locked out of the car, and they would contact the closest local AAA service provider and send them to help you. The speed of response varies based on how far it is to the nearest AAA-approved mechanic/other service provider and how busy they are; I've never had to use it for a real emergency, but I suspect that time-sensitive issues like a baby being locked in the car would get moved up the priority list (plus, they usually give a estimated wait time, so 911 could still be called if necessary).

My point in bringing up AAA was that an OnStar-type remote unlock didn't seem to be an option and calling a roadside assistance provider for help had been suggested during this incident; Winokur simply insisted on 911 instead. I assume if she did not have AAA, but had luxury car roadside assistance, that the AAA suggestion would have prompted her to call the whatever roadside assistance option she had.

Not only AAA, but many insurance companies have roadside assistance as an option for car insurance.  We have it through USAA and it is about $6.  We can call from anywhere for any reason and they will send a mechanic or locksmith or whatever we need. 

However, this did not help when dh locked his keys in the truck in the middle of nowhere hunting.  It was one of those slomo situations where he got out of the truck, it was still running, he hit the lock and as the door shut, he realized his mistake!  His blackberry was also in the truck, but he was also somewhere with no reception whatsoever.   He had to break the passenger side window.   DH had a long drive the day before with a tarped and taped window. 

When I called USAA, they originally said it wouldn't be covered because he broke it intentionally, I explained he was in the middle of nowhere, had no blackberry reception and the truck was running.  The replacement came the very next day to our house.

If one doesn't have AAA, I bet many of their insurance companies have the same roadside assistance for much cheaper cost!

[Rosey]

I've thought about this blog post, and it really bothers me because there IS such a thing as "Mom Bullying" and she could have written a real message about that, but instead she wrote about her own complete lack of rational thinking.

Some Mom Bully Thoughts:

Moms compete. We all know this, and we tend to accept it by entering into motherhood in the first place. We compete over whose child is the smartest, the best athlete, the best looking, and more. The difference between the moms who compete because they are moms and moms who compete because they are bullies comes out in their responses.

My daughter recently turned three. She loves to wear makeup, jewelry, and pretty dresses. However, she attends a preschool that requires uniforms, so the pretty dresses are out. She's only three, so makeup is not a daily practice. That leaves jewelry. Sometimes she loads up the plastic bracelets and princess charms, other times she forgets or just wants to be free to rough house a bit. In her class is another little girl, Madysyn. Madysyn wears jewelry every single day, and she looks lovely. Still, every morning Madysyn's mother comes on, verbally admires her own daughter's accessories, and then makes a point of saying, "Oh, look, Madysyn. RoseyCheeks (or another little girl) isn't wearing her jewelry today." Perhaps you'd have to hear her tone, but it speaks volumes that she feels called to point out what other children don't have on a daily basis. She gets personal bonus points if she can do this in front of the other child's mother.

Next comes the Working Moms versus the Stay At Home Moms. Most WMs and SAHMs seem to feel they've made their choices and do okay. However, there is always the one WM who makes a point of discussing her "contribution to society" in a way that denigrates a SAHM's contribution by raising her children full-time. As a working mom, I heard this lecture against SAHM from a physician first. Next I found myself in a Bible study class where I was a few minutes late. Upon my arrival, the other women gathered together to ask me if I wouldn't prefer to raise my own child "if I could." I asked for explanation, sure I was wrong in my initial assumptions, and they explained that "it must be so hard for [me] to have to let daycare teachers raise [my] child" and "surely [ I ] would want to raise her myself IF [ I ] could." If I could? So not only are they insulting my parenting practices, but they are assuming that I work only because my husband can't afford to pay for his family himself?

There's more, but this is a start. This is how I would write a blog about mom bullies and, patting my own back here, I think it would send a much bigger message than Winokur's own collection of "woe is me" sentiments. Of course, maybe I am bullying her by not being more sympathetic.  

Edited to get rid of italics.

[Alex the Seal]

I've thought about this blog post, and it really bothers me because there IS such a thing as "Mom Bullying" and she could have written a real message about that, but instead she wrote about her own complete lack of rational thinking.

Some Mom Bully Thoughts:

Moms compete. We all know this, and we tend to accept it by entering into motherhood in the first place. We compete over whose child is the smartest, the best athlete, the best looking, and more. The difference between the moms who compete because they are moms and moms who compete because they are bullies comes out in their responses.

My daughter recently turned three. She loves to wear makeup, jewelry, and pretty dresses. However, she attends a preschool that requires uniforms, so the pretty dresses are out. She's only three, so makeup is not a daily practice. That leaves jewelry. Sometimes she loads up the plastic bracelets and princess charms, other times she forgets or just wants to be free to rough house a bit. In her class is another little girl, Madysyn. Madysyn wears jewelry every single day, and she looks lovely. Still, every morning Madysyn's mother comes on, verbally admires her own daughter's accessories, and then makes a point of saying, "Oh, look, Madysyn. RoseyCheeks (or another little girl) isn't wearing her jewelry today." Perhaps you'd have to hear her tone, but it speaks volumes that she feels called to point out what other children don't have on a daily basis. She gets personal bonus points if she can do this in front of the other child's mother.

Next comes the Working Moms versus the Stay At Home Moms. Most WMs and SAHMs seem to feel they've made their choices and do okay. However, there is always the one WM who makes a point of discussing her "contribution to society" in a way that denigrates a SAHM's contribution by raising her children full-time. As a working mom, I heard this lecture against SAHM from a physician first. Next I found myself in a Bible study class where I was a few minutes late. Upon my arrival, the other women gathered together to ask me if I wouldn't prefer to raise my own child "if I could." I asked for explanation, sure I was wrong in my initial assumptions, and they explained that "it must be so hard for [me] to have to let daycare teachers raise [my] child" and "surely would want to raise her myself IF could." If I could? So not only are they insulting my parenting practices, but they are assuming that I work only because my husband can't afford to pay for his family himself?

There's more, but this is a start. This is how I would write a blog about mom bullies and, patting my own back here, I think it would send a much bigger message than Winokur's own collection of "woe is me" sentiments. Of course, maybe I am bullying her by not being more sympathetic. 

Wow, Rosey, I knew there was a reason I always enjoy your posts! That was exceptionally well said.

Even though I'm not a mum, I've seen the mum bullies in action and find it sad, and when I read MJW's article after first seeing this thread, I was hoping for something a bit more... incisive and insightful, I guess.

Let me know if you do ever blog about this

[Rosey]

Thanks, Alex! I appreciate the compliment.