I just can't understand why my friends don't like me anymore. We like to get together on weekends and cut loose a little bit. I always love to get drunk. And I usually bring some illegal substances along with me, but hey, nobody likes a stick in the mud. Anyway, I get real...touchy-feely when I'm drunk. But my friends should be honored! I mean, if I find them attractive enough to hit on them drunkenly, shouldn't they recognize that for the complement it is?
Plus, my friends don't seem to understand my relationship with Pookie, my miniature poodle. Pookie goes with me anywhere; she is a delicate creature and can't bear to be away from me. It's really hilarious when Pookie gets drunk! My friends don't like her coming to parties, because one time she chewed up my friend's brand-new Prada purse. But my friend should have known better to bring a Prada purse to a party where Pookie was going to be in attendance, right?!
So tell me, Mean Reader, what should I do about my friends to make them like me more?
Life of the Party