Author Topic: You look too young to be married! How should I respond??  (Read 6732 times)

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Kaymyth

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Re: You look too young to be married! How should I respond??
« Reply #15 on: January 18, 2011, 04:13:11 PM »
"Looks can be deceiving."  Perhaps top it off with a Spock eyebrow, if you're feeling particularly sassy that day.



Oh Joy

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Re: You look too young to be married! How should I respond??
« Reply #16 on: January 18, 2011, 06:22:33 PM »
On a good day, a smile with 'I hope I always look too young!'

On a less-patient day, 'So I've been told.' 

sasha

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Re: You look too young to be married! How should I respond??
« Reply #17 on: January 19, 2011, 12:05:20 PM »
  Or am I just being too sensitive? Anyone else gone through this kind of thing? I'm not mad, just... a bit annoyed.


I get this a lot. I'm 32, but look like I'm 22. I just tell people that I'm older than I look.

Sasha

mimi-coyote

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Re: You look too young to be married! How should I respond??
« Reply #18 on: January 20, 2011, 01:23:03 AM »
If I had said it to you it would be either as a compliment or because I had a case of the nerves and just said the first thing that popped into my mind.  It wouldn't be as an insult though. 

As an aside, I'm guessing you don't drink but if you ever do find yourself in a bar be prepared to be carded repeatedly.


I often say the first thing that comes to mind so I try not to be all judgy! :) And I do drink, and yes, I am carded every time. That I don't mind, they're just doing their job!

mimi-coyote

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Re: You look too young to be married! How should I respond??
« Reply #19 on: January 20, 2011, 01:25:30 AM »
"Looks can be deceiving."  Perhaps top it off with a Spock eyebrow, if you're feeling particularly sassy that day.

Um, yes. I usually do feel sassy. And I love Spock. So this is a great plan for me!

SamiHami

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Re: You look too young to be married! How should I respond??
« Reply #20 on: January 20, 2011, 11:13:32 AM »
Them: "You look too young to be married!"

You:  "Oh.  Well, I am.  Now, can you help me find those shoes that we're looking for?"

Really, it's not anyone's business and although I doubt the comment is intended to be unkind, it's still inappropriate to comment on someone else's appearance.  By directing her attention back to the task at hand-her JOB-you are subtly letting her know that her comment is unwelcome without being unkind or rude.  It's a lesson a lot of people should learn...

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

pwy a wyr

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Re: You look too young to be married! How should I respond??
« Reply #21 on: January 20, 2011, 12:51:08 PM »
Woohoo! Someone else with whom to sympathise! I'm 28 and got this comment on sunday. I've also had surgeons ask me if I'm old enough to be a registered nurse. I tend to reply with 'Well, thanks. When I'm 40, you can tell me how young I look again'. That seems to keep it light and move it on with a question about something completely different.

My husband used to get annoyed if he was buying wine and they wouldn't serve us because I didn't have i.d. I had to explain teh law to him to make him calm down. I now carry my i.d. everywhere!

If it helps, we, apparently, will be very grateful in years to come. :D

NotCinderell

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Re: You look too young to be married! How should I respond??
« Reply #22 on: January 28, 2011, 06:15:18 AM »
"You look too young to be married!"

"Thank you, but I assure you I'm not." 
Say it with a smile.

immadz

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Re: You look too young to be married! How should I respond??
« Reply #23 on: February 01, 2011, 10:26:44 PM »
I don't think they are judging you unless they say it in a snotty tone. When people tell me they just got married, I estimate 25 years of age. Not 18 because really the average marriage age for women in my social circle is 25-27. So if someone who looks 18 says just married I think, " Wow she looks so young." and if I don't control myself it will pop right out. As someone who has always been mistaken for older, I vote clumsy compliment. However it can be very tiring and PPs have come up with excellent suggestions to make it stop.


GoTwins

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Re: You look too young to be married! How should I respond??
« Reply #24 on: February 03, 2011, 02:54:40 PM »
"Looks can be deceiving."  Perhaps top it off with a Spock eyebrow, if you're feeling particularly sassy that day.

Um, yes. I usually do feel sassy. And I love Spock. So this is a great plan for me!

I vote for this too. I love it!  ;D
My mother is also a very tiny person and looks much younger than her age. She married at 21 and had me at 22. She said everywhere she went she could see older women blatantly looking to see if there was a wedding ring on her finger assuming she was an unwed teenage mother.

Sirius

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Re: You look too young to be married! How should I respond??
« Reply #25 on: February 08, 2011, 01:49:26 PM »
Since I was almost 40 when I got married, people would ask me, "How many marriages does this make for you?" and they seemed surprised that it was my first marriage.  Then they'd ask how many marriages Mr. Sirius had had, which is really no one else's business, but I got a (perhaps not admirable) thrill out of seeing their surprise when I'd tell them that it was the first marriage for both of us. 

Nurvingiel

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Re: You look too young to be married! How should I respond??
« Reply #26 on: February 08, 2011, 11:52:00 PM »
I vote a simple "I'm not." Said in a somewhat flat tone.

They shouldn't get any positive reinforcement for sticking their nose into your business.
If I had some ham, I could have ham and eggs, if I had some eggs.

Dindrane

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Re: You look too young to be married! How should I respond??
« Reply #27 on: February 09, 2011, 12:26:11 AM »
"And yet, here I am.  [subject change]"

It's an awfully versatile way to respond.  If you suspect it's just a massive brain-to-mouth-filter fail, you can say it in a friendly tone of voice with a smile.  If you suspect a more rude motivation, you can say it without smiling at all, perhaps with a well-placed eyebrow lift. :)

I agree with Cathy that giving them your age and the length of time you dated is unnecessary and counter-productive.  Anyone whose business it is probably already knows, and nobody else needs to know.  The best way to close down a line of conversation (and what the "interesting assumption" is really intended to do) is to just refuse to actually talk about it at all.  It's much easier to do if you then go on to talk about something entirely related before they have a chance to talk to you about it some more.