I have a toxic aunt. I do not exaggerate when I say that she is whiny, negative, indecisive, dishonest, and gossippy. Oh, and I forgot to mention, insanely jealous of anyone who has (or who she perceives to have) more than her in any way. Somehow, over the years, she has managed to convince a few people in my social circle that she's as sweet as pie. In addition to that, she goes to my church, where it is very important to maintain harmony and not have bickering between members. On top of that, I have no desire to fight with her. I just need to learn how to tolerate her which is becoming harder and harder.
To further complicate the problem, I also have a toxic mother-in-law. Her toxicity is more PA and directed at my husband, but it's there nonetheless. My MIL is employed to provide day care for my ailing grandmother and spends a lot of time with my toxic aunt. As a result, my MIL often repeats completely untrue stories to me about various members of my family, and she cannot be convinced that Toxic Aunt is not above lying to sway people to "her side". Also, MIL is very easily offended and if I were to insist that the stories she's telling me are lies, she would be outraged which would cause untold damage to her already frail relationship with my husband. So usually, I mildly protest and then try to change the subject once I see there won't be any convincing her of the truth.
But here's the bottom line: the holidays are coming, and I'm really sick of all of this. I don't even want to be in the same room as my toxic aunt, and I'm getting to the point where I don't even feel guilty for limiting my conversation with her and avoiding her. Thanksgiving this year will be held at the home of a family member who is dear to me and has been very financially blessed lately, so I'm sure I will be dodging all kinds of little PA comments about how "such a huge home would be hard to heat in the winter" and "this kitchen makes mine look like a closet", and so on. The thing is, I don't want to dodge anymore. Everyone in the family has been accomodating this grating behavior for years for fear of causing a family rift. But I think she needs to be called out, as she is honestly the main reason I don't even care to gather with that side of my family anymore.
So...help me not to blow up at her!! I don't really feel it's my place to correct her lifetime of wretched behavior, but I really need some approved clever comebacks to shut her down and enjoy my holidays.