Author Topic: 'If you don't wear your wedding ring you are a woman of questionable character.'  (Read 27250 times)

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MrsJWine

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Simkin likes to take his ring off before bed, then joke about "cheating on his wife"...does that mean I married a man floozie?

No, see, men can only be led astray by evil women.  They can't do anything bad on their without extreme temptation from seductresses with magical powers of ringlessness.

Magical powers? We get magical powers?!? Cool!

Then again, I seem to 'attract and seduce' some real dips... maybe I should wear extra rings.

I haven't worn my wedding ring in four days (irritated skin).  Now, I haven't left the house, but I don't think that matters, evil mind-rays and all that.


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Utah

Hushabye

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Simkin likes to take his ring off before bed, then joke about "cheating on his wife"...does that mean I married a man floozie?

No, see, men can only be led astray by evil women.  They can't do anything bad on their without extreme temptation from seductresses with magical powers of ringlessness.

Magical powers? We get magical powers?!? Cool!

Then again, I seem to 'attract and seduce' some real dips... maybe I should wear extra rings.

I haven't worn my wedding ring in four days (irritated skin).  Now, I haven't left the house, but I don't think that matters, evil mind-rays and all that.

It's like a female cat in heat inside a house with tomcats on the prowl outside: even if the windows are closed and there aren't those evil pheromones floating around, they know she's there.  Human males are rendered the same way by human females without wedding/engagement rings.  I'm truly surprised you haven't spotted all the ones that are surely lurking in the hedges outside your house, MrsJWine.

Lynnv

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Simkin likes to take his ring off before bed, then joke about "cheating on his wife"...does that mean I married a man floozie?

No, see, men can only be led astray by evil women.  They can't do anything bad on their without extreme temptation from seductresses with magical powers of ringlessness.

Magical powers? We get magical powers?!? Cool!

Then again, I seem to 'attract and seduce' some real dips... maybe I should wear extra rings.

I haven't worn my wedding ring in four days (irritated skin).  Now, I haven't left the house, but I don't think that matters, evil mind-rays and all that.

It's like a female cat in heat inside a house with tomcats on the prowl outside: even if the windows are closed and there aren't those evil pheromones floating around, they know she's there.  Human males are rendered the same way by human females without wedding/engagement rings.  I'm truly surprised you haven't spotted all the ones that are surely lurking in the hedges outside your house, MrsJWine.

Do you have to invite them in like vampires if they have been attracted by your evil ringless mind-rays?  Or do you have to board up your windows before you remove your ring?  Because I need to clean my ring this week and I would hate to have to be worried about the hordes of men attempting to peer in at my ringless fingers.   ;)
Lynn

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PaintingPastelPrincess

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Simkin likes to take his ring off before bed, then joke about "cheating on his wife"...does that mean I married a man floozie?

No, see, men can only be led astray by evil women.  They can't do anything bad on their without extreme temptation from seductresses with magical powers of ringlessness.

Magical powers? We get magical powers?!? Cool!

Then again, I seem to 'attract and seduce' some real dips... maybe I should wear extra rings.

I haven't worn my wedding ring in four days (irritated skin).  Now, I haven't left the house, but I don't think that matters, evil mind-rays and all that.

It's like a female cat in heat inside a house with tomcats on the prowl outside: even if the windows are closed and there aren't those evil pheromones floating around, they know she's there.  Human males are rendered the same way by human females without wedding/engagement rings.  I'm truly surprised you haven't spotted all the ones that are surely lurking in the hedges outside your house, MrsJWine.

Do you have to invite them in like vampires if they have been attracted by your evil ringless mind-rays?  Or do you have to board up your windows before you remove your ring?  Because I need to clean my ring this week and I would hate to have to be worried about the hordes of men attempting to peer in at my ringless fingers.   ;)

Peering at your fingers is probably okay, but make sure to hide your ankles!

MrsJWine

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It's like a female cat in heat inside a house with tomcats on the prowl outside: even if the windows are closed and there aren't those evil pheromones floating around, they know she's there.  Human males are rendered the same way by human females without wedding/engagement rings.  I'm truly surprised you haven't spotted all the ones that are surely lurking in the hedges outside your house, MrsJWine.

Do you have to invite them in like vampires if they have been attracted by your evil ringless mind-rays?  Or do you have to board up your windows before you remove your ring?  Because I need to clean my ring this week and I would hate to have to be worried about the hordes of men attempting to peer in at my ringless fingers.   ;)

I think if you wear really heavy gloves, it might be okay.  Actually, mittens.  Best go with mittens.


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Utah

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It's like a female cat in heat inside a house with tomcats on the prowl outside: even if the windows are closed and there aren't those evil pheromones floating around, they know she's there.  Human males are rendered the same way by human females without wedding/engagement rings.  I'm truly surprised you haven't spotted all the ones that are surely lurking in the hedges outside your house, MrsJWine.

Do you have to invite them in like vampires if they have been attracted by your evil ringless mind-rays?  Or do you have to board up your windows before you remove your ring?  Because I need to clean my ring this week and I would hate to have to be worried about the hordes of men attempting to peer in at my ringless fingers.   ;)

I think if you wear really heavy gloves, it might be okay.  Actually, mittens.  Best go with mittens.

Or a Michael Jackson glove.  That might sufficiently confuse them long enough to get the ring cleaned and back on your finger without rousting the entire male population of your neighborhood.

Lynnv

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It's like a female cat in heat inside a house with tomcats on the prowl outside: even if the windows are closed and there aren't those evil pheromones floating around, they know she's there.  Human males are rendered the same way by human females without wedding/engagement rings.  I'm truly surprised you haven't spotted all the ones that are surely lurking in the hedges outside your house, MrsJWine.

Do you have to invite them in like vampires if they have been attracted by your evil ringless mind-rays?  Or do you have to board up your windows before you remove your ring?  Because I need to clean my ring this week and I would hate to have to be worried about the hordes of men attempting to peer in at my ringless fingers.   ;)

I think if you wear really heavy gloves, it might be okay.  Actually, mittens.  Best go with mittens.

I have motorcycle gloves.  No mittens, but I do have lots and lots of motorcycle gloves.  Maybe I will double up. 
Lynn

"Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat."  Robert A. Heinlein

phoenix

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Wow, apparantly I'm more depraved than any of you.  With me, it would have gone like this:

HER: Remember what i'm telling you. Next time I want to see you wear your ring. Only floozies don't wear their rings.
DarkPhoenix: What makes you think I won't be a floozy next time you see me?

DarkPhoenix is bad when she's mad...but warm cocoa puts her right to sleep.

JacklynHyde

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This has turned into the most amusing thread I've read in ages!

randomtangent

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wait a second here, i get Single Woman Floozy Powers and NO ONE TOLD ME?!?!  i've been doing it all wrong!  or maybe because i am single AND i wear a ring on the finger, they don't work.  that might be a better explanation. 

i have actually been chided by older women for wearing a ring on that finger when i am not engaged or married.  i received a ring from my nana that she got from my grampa when they were married (they are divorced and have been for 'centuries' as she puts it).  the only finger it fit on was my ring finger and now even though that one is no longer wearable, i feel weird without it on so i still wear one.  'but how are all those nice boys supposed to know i am not married and still eligible if i tease them by wearing it?'  who said i was looking to get married?

Azrail, i think you handled yourself with a lot of grace.  certainly better than i would have  >:D  but then again according to same chiding older woman, that's another reason i haven't found a 'nice boy' yet. 

Ms_Cellany

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Wonder what she'd think of my engineer friend 'Annie?'  Annie's engaged to be married, but she doesn't wear her engagement ring...  because she is a field service engineer who works on repairing lasers

(Combine "laser" with "prismatically cut gemstone" in your mind for a minute. Yeah, it's even worse than power tools.)



Yikes!
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Lynnv

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Wonder what she'd think of my engineer friend 'Annie?'  Annie's engaged to be married, but she doesn't wear her engagement ring...  because she is a field service engineer who works on repairing lasers

(Combine "laser" with "prismatically cut gemstone" in your mind for a minute. Yeah, it's even worse than power tools.)



Yikes!

And yowza!  But at least she has a laser to protect herself from the hordes of men attracted by her ringless floozie-ness.  :>
Lynn

"Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat."  Robert A. Heinlein

BeagleMommy

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Okay, floozieness is my new favorite word!  I have to find a way to work it into everyday conversation!  >:D

Nellop

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A few nights ago I was woken up when my bin fell over with a loud bang. At the time I thought it was blown over by the wind.
I realise now that it must have been knocked down due to the sheer numbers of men in my garden, looking for a way to try and catch a glimpse of my finger -sans ring. They must have been attracted by the sudden addition of the 'floozie pheromone' to my natural aroma.

How foolish I have been - who will save me from my own floozieness, and the sudden onslaught of men that my ringless fingers now attract?
I tell funny stories and draw terrible drawings:

http://exacerbationofthesituation.blogspot.com

Lynnv

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A few nights ago I was woken up when my bin fell over with a loud bang. At the time I thought it was blown over by the wind.
I realise now that it must have been knocked down due to the sheer numbers of men in my garden, looking for a way to try and catch a glimpse of my finger -sans ring. They must have been attracted by the sudden addition of the 'floozie pheromone' to my natural aroma.

How foolish I have been - who will save me from my own floozieness, and the sudden onslaught of men that my ringless fingers now attract?

I wonder if a ring tattoo would substitute for an actual metal in preventing the release of the floozie pheromone.  And if it would, would one drawn on with an ink pen work just as well.  I would think that both would cover up the "ringless floozie pheromone" gland and prevent future bouts of floozieness, but as far as I know no actual scientific testing has been done on this theory.  Maybe we could get a grant.   :P
Lynn

"Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat."  Robert A. Heinlein