Author Topic: You don't live your life like mine! Here, have an assumption...  (Read 13159 times)

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Nellop

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Re: You don't live your life like mine! Here, have an assumption...
« Reply #30 on: November 16, 2010, 06:17:51 PM »
Ah yes - the friend.

She is going to be (very politely) told where to go...

I tell funny stories and draw terrible drawings:

http://exacerbationofthesituation.blogspot.com

Ms_Shell

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Re: You don't live your life like mine! Here, have an assumption...
« Reply #31 on: November 16, 2010, 08:38:29 PM »
I understand; it's always easier helping out someone else than taking care of yourself, isn't it?  :)
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Asharah

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Re: You don't live your life like mine! Here, have an assumption...
« Reply #32 on: November 16, 2010, 10:36:19 PM »
The woman is a lunatic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :o
Asharah

Cyradis

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Re: You don't live your life like mine! Here, have an assumption...
« Reply #33 on: November 17, 2010, 10:32:31 AM »
The woman is a lunatic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :o

I'm wondering if someone has bet her a million dollars she can't get fired.  ::)

squashedfrog

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Re: You don't live your life like mine! Here, have an assumption...
« Reply #34 on: November 17, 2010, 10:50:02 AM »
((((Serious hugs))))

This woman is nothing short of a bully.  I really hope it works out.  Urgghh though, what a complete moo-bag.

Nellop

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Re: You don't live your life like mine! Here, have an assumption...
« Reply #35 on: November 17, 2010, 04:18:35 PM »
Long Story Short - She's totally gone from the company.

Long Story Long...

The company I'm with is very small, and the boss is always there, so we had the meeting first thing this morning. I was in first with the big boss man, and nice CW#2 came in as well to say what had been said to her.
Turns out that she's overheard this woman talking to me before, and attested to the fact that I never disclosed any personal information about myself to Evil!CW, but that she was fairly unrelentless until distracted by something else. He asked CW#2 why she hadn't said anything beforehand, and she said that until yesterday I had never stood up for myself and told Evil!CW to stop, so she'd assumed that it wasn't bothering me. He then asked me why I hadn't told anyone beforehand if I'd been bothered, and I explained that I hadn't wanted to make a fuss, as it was my first fulltime job since university, and didn't know what to do - and that I was worried that it would be my word as a temp, against hers as a fulltime employer.

Then Evil!CW came in and just basically started accusing me of having a vendetta against her and hating her. The boss couldn't get a word in edgeways - it was like a cross between The Apprentice and Jeremy Kyle. Eventually they managed to get out of her that yes, she was talking about my private life, but that it had been a joke, I had always been fine about it and she thought I'd found it funny... she went on and on with the excuses and basically ended up implying that it was me that started the conversations and that she just went along with it. CW#2 reminded the boss that she had heard conversations and that I had not participated. The boss went over the company policy and told Evil!CW that she was on some kind of warning.. I forget the name for what it was, and I didn't really understand the details - like I've said before I don't understand all this office stuff! He asked me if I was happy with the outcome, promised me that he would move me to another department and he would contact my agency himself, to explain what had happened, and he would forward the 'minutes??' to the agency, and let them know how the situation had been dealt with.

Anyway, Evil!CW starts shouting 'I didn't realise that you valued your employers so little, I can't believe that this is a problem etc etc, it was just a joke, I've done nothing wrong. How can you do this to me yadda yadda yadda, I'd rather leave than have to work with people who treat me so unfairly and so on and so forth for quite some time.
Boss said 'If that's how you feel, fine, I expect your resignation on my desk by the end of the day.'

We went back to our desks while the boss sorted something else out to do with it - went over my head. Evil!CW stomped to her desk, started hammering at the keyboard. Printed something out and gave it to me, asking me to 'pass this on to your new best friend. Maybe you can start shagging him when you find out that I was right all along, that your fiances lying cheating scumbag and your marriage fails. No wonder he's off with other women when you're so fat.' And she stomps out of the office, never to be seen again.
I look at the paper she's given me, it says in big letters 'Dear 'Boss', £$%^ OFF. Signed (her signature) Evil!CW.'

All I could do was laugh at this point - she's clearly unstable. I'm so glad it all got sorted out, and I actually couldn't care what she said when she left - nothing she said had any weight behind it. The lovely CW#2 asked me if I wanted to go back and report what she said to me, but I figured that whats done is done, she's gone anyway.

If you're wondering, I didn't pass on her letter to the boss, but my CW#2 did. Apparently he sighed and passed it to his PA to file.

So... problem solved!


Thank you to everyone here who was so nice while this was happening - I'm so glad I said something to her that day, and that there was someone there who was able to push me to take it further.

Now I suppose I need to talk to our mutual friend - no doubt Evil!CW already had... Any advice on that one!?

(Edited to correct spelling!)
« Last Edit: November 17, 2010, 04:20:35 PM by Nellop »
I tell funny stories and draw terrible drawings:

http://exacerbationofthesituation.blogspot.com

Shoo

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Re: You don't live your life like mine! Here, have an assumption...
« Reply #36 on: November 17, 2010, 04:26:21 PM »
Wow.  What a day, huh?  :)

I don't think you should contact your mutual friend.  The reason being that she isn't much of a friend at all, and you really don't need to explain anything to her.  

If she has any sense at all, any sense of right and wrong, she will come groveling to you begging forgiveness for having put you in such a horrible spot by gossiping about you to that horrible woman.

But I wouldn't hold my breath.

I'm glad it's worked out so well for you and this nightmare is over!

Nellop

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Re: You don't live your life like mine! Here, have an assumption...
« Reply #37 on: November 17, 2010, 04:42:16 PM »

I don't think you should contact your mutual friend.  The reason being that she isn't much of a friend at all, and you really don't need to explain anything to her.  


Best advice I think I can get at this point :D
I don't have the energy to deal with her, after everything that's happened today.
It's the best outcome I could have hoped for - I just can't believe that there are people like that out there!
I'm hoping that I never have to deal with anyone like this woman again. I don't know whether it was the fact that we knew the same person that made her feel that it was ok to talk to me as she did, or the fact that she had ten years on me and she decided it was ok to talk down to me...

Oh well, it's all in the past now! :D
I tell funny stories and draw terrible drawings:

http://exacerbationofthesituation.blogspot.com

bookworm317

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Re: You don't live your life like mine! Here, have an assumption...
« Reply #38 on: November 17, 2010, 04:42:34 PM »
Part of me wants to know WHY she thinks "all men cheat". None of the men I know(or have known--some of them have died.) would EVER cheat on their wives(or their fiancees, or their girlfriends)!

Darcy

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Re: You don't live your life like mine! Here, have an assumption...
« Reply #39 on: November 17, 2010, 04:48:00 PM »
That was quite an epic ending.  I'm glad it's over for you. ;D

KaosP

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Re: You don't live your life like mine! Here, have an assumption...
« Reply #40 on: November 17, 2010, 05:41:36 PM »
*snip* No wonder he's off with other women when you're so fat.' *snip*

I've been reading this story and have been quite incredulous about this woman's behaviour...but where the heck did that come from?? What is she, 12 years old to resort to that kind of insult??

Or perhaps a projection?

Anyway, glad things turned out for you. What a horrible situation in which to find yourself.

Nellop

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Re: You don't live your life like mine! Here, have an assumption...
« Reply #41 on: November 17, 2010, 06:13:13 PM »
*snip* No wonder he's off with other women when you're so fat.' *snip*

I've been reading this story and have been quite incredulous about this woman's behaviour...but where the heck did that come from?? What is she, 12 years old to resort to that kind of insult??

Or perhaps a projection?

Anyway, glad things turned out for you. What a horrible situation in which to find yourself.

Thing is - I'm not fat. I think she actually was just grasping at straws as to what she could throw at me to hurt me. Turns out that only works when it's true...
I tell funny stories and draw terrible drawings:

http://exacerbationofthesituation.blogspot.com

Ms_Shell

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Re: You don't live your life like mine! Here, have an assumption...
« Reply #42 on: November 17, 2010, 07:22:11 PM »
he would contact my agency himself, to explain what had happened, and he would forward the 'minutes??' to the agency, and let them know how the situation had been dealt with.

It sounds like you aren't sure what "minutes" are - FYI, that's the notes pople take during a meeting so that the company has a record of what happened and what the outcome was.  If I made an incorrect assumption, I apologize - and I'm glad it worked out for you!
"I've never been a millionaire, but I just know I'd be darling at it." - Dorothy Parker

hobish

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Re: You don't live your life like mine! Here, have an assumption...
« Reply #43 on: November 17, 2010, 07:42:37 PM »
OP, I waited until I was married to 'bump uglies' too - you're not alone in that.  ;) I got assumptions served left and right for marrying at 21 - I was too young or other *&^$#!... ???
(Never saw the problem of nabbing Mr. Right when I met him and still together for 13+ years.  8) But for some 'worldly' people...*sigh* )

I agree with PP's what she's doing is sexual harassment and even bullying to a certain degree. Good grief, she made her decisions and lives with the consequences - she doesn't have any right attempting to force you to do the same. Part of me wonders if she's trying to soothe over some guilt by not being the only one that did that?  :-\
Just got to stand firm with her and tell her with no uncertain terms the topic's closed like Toots have told others in similar circumstances.



That's a rather interesting assumption in and of itself. I will never understand why those that donít always seem to think those that do are either guilty or jealous, and have no issue saying so. Were the shoe on the other foot people would be protesting left and right. It's not cool.

Nellop - that is awesome. Honestly, i was afraid to chime in because from what i hear most companies would sooner get rid of a temp as deal with the situation with the actual employee. In your place I probably would have tried to keep my head down and find another position just for that reason. I am so glad to be wrong! Thatís good stuff!
It's alright, man. I'm only bleeding, man. Stay hungry, stay free, and do the best you can.
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Raintree

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Re: You don't live your life like mine! Here, have an assumption...
« Reply #44 on: November 17, 2010, 08:46:49 PM »
Quote
Anyway, Evil!CW starts shouting 'I didn't realise that you valued your employers so little, I can't believe that this is a problem etc etc, it was just a joke, I've done nothing wrong. How can you do this to me yadda yadda yadda, I'd rather leave than have to work with people who treat me so unfairly and so on and so forth for quite some time.
Boss said 'If that's how you feel, fine, I expect your resignation on my desk by the end of the day.'

Hooray for Boss!!! Great answer!!

I am so glad it was dealt with appropriately. That is harrassment and the company would most definitely be on the hook for it if they did nothing about it and you decided to take legal action. What a horrible woman!! Who does that?

Quote
I will never understand why those that donít always seem to think those that do are either guilty or jealous, and have no issue saying so.

I didn't wait for marriage, and I feel neither guilty, nor regretful, nor jealous. Whatever other people decide to do is up to them. She sounds bitter/jealous about something though....she probably had some guy cheat on her, or she couldn't find anyone to marry her due to her nasty personality.

As for the mutual "friend" I would refrain from sharing anything with her from now on. In fact, I prefer not to discuss scrabble with anyone who isn't involved in the game with me.