Wearing Fur

[kingsrings]

I don't think it is ever appropriate to comment on someone's choice to wear fur or not.  Thrusting one's politics in the face of someone else, whether done quietly or loudly, is not polite.  It certainly won't change anyone's mind about anything.

Agree. I get very irritated and turned off by someone shoving their politics in my face, no matter how politely it is done. Don't tell me where to shop, what to wear, who to vote for, etc. Have some respect and tolerance for other's political/religious views.

[kingsrings]

Back home in Colorado, you pretty much never saw it, and if you did, it was only on the very elderly.

It depends on what part of Colorado. In Vail, there are numerous furriers and lots of fur wearers (rich town). My stepmom and I had a blast going into those stores and trying on the furs, pretending that we could afford their $5,0000+ price tags.

[Linley]

Well, if I may ask a tangential question, do you think it is ever appropriate to comment upon or otherwise express your opinions about someone's choice of reading material? The situation that prompts my question is that I depend on public transportation to get around and I tend to read on the bus, subway, train, etc. I'm a historian and a grad student, with a specialty in German history, and I read a lot of history books and historically based novels which not infrequently have to do with the Third Reich and have swastikas on the cover. It should be fairly clear from the titles that the books are scholarly in nature. I sometimes get people who comment on what I am reading or just give me dirty looks. I'm not trying to make a statement with my choice of reading but I suppose I can imagine that it could be perceived that way. Should I put the history books away in public? I do try to be sensitive and to keep books that could be miscontrued someplace private.

[NOVA Lady]

No way Linp! Read whatever you want in public!

I am a law student and the books I have to read are pretty obvious law books and inevitably if I am studying in a coffee shop or somewhere out in public people will feel the need to interupt me and ask me about the books or say disparaging remarks about my chosen profession.

I think sometimes people just like to hear the sound of their own words. I don't think its OK to make comments on what someone is ready.

However, this makes me wonder if its OK to ask someone about the book and how they like it if they want to get into a conversation about the author, similar interest, etc.  I guess it would depend on the situation. But in any case I think interupting would be wrong. I have asked someone about a book (is that the new one by xxx author? How are you liking that one? things like that because I might want to buy it myself) but its usually been someone I knew already and not a stranger.

[ZipTheWonder]

He's lucky she whipped out a cell phone and not a gun.

I once took one of those insurance company self assessment tests (for fun) and "arguing with strangers"  was considered a high risk behavior.

That's a good point.  How does one know that the person he is confronting about a particular behavior isn't a whole lot more political (or as you allude to...a whole lot more willing to get violent) than the person doing the confronting?  If you confront someone with your opinion, you should fully expect to hear theirs rightbackatcha.  If you don't, you're a common-grade schoolyard bully. 

[itiswhatitisn't]

We were out yesterday and I saw a lot of people in fur coats.  And the funny thing was that what ran through my mind was that it wasn't cold enough yet for coats like that.  It was in the fifties and while I was wishing I had my wool coat, my corduroy one was working just fine.  Didn't stop to think about the moral implications.  Then again we have college students who protest everything so give it time and someone will start to harrass the people in fur.  But I must say, those ladies looked warm.

As for buying one, I wouldn't.  but my mom has my grandmother's and when the time comes I'll keep it because it is sentimental.

[Linley]

Thanks Marina.

I normally wouldn't worry about what others think, it is simply that my books turn on a touchy subject and one I am uncomfortable discussing with strangers in public. I don't want to make others uncomfortable.

[Hawkwatcher]

Hi all I hope everyone had a great Holiday!

But is there an OK way to comment on something (fur coat, letter handbag, whatever)?

I thought it was never OK but I wonder if there is an acceptable way to do it.

I think that it is okay to make a brief comment about something if asked for an opinion.  For example, if someone asks you "what do you think of my new fur coat" it is okay to answer "I am not the most objective person to ask about fur coats because of my personal feelings about wearing fur.  Now, how about those Broncos?"  If the owner of the fur coat wants to know more information about why you oppose fur coats, he or she can ask.  If he or she does not want to know, he or she has the option of discussing the Broncos.

 

[Hawkwatcher]

He's lucky she whipped out a cell phone and not a gun.

I once took one of those insurance company self assessment tests (for fun) and "arguing with strangers"  was considered a high risk behavior.

That's a good point.  How does one know that the person he is confronting about a particular behavior isn't a whole lot more political (or as you allude to...a whole lot more willing to get violent) than the person doing the confronting?  If you confront someone with your opinion, you should fully expect to hear theirs rightbackatcha.  If you don't, you're a common-grade schoolyard bully. 

Unfortunately, I suspect that sexism played a large role in this man's behavior.  Despite the fact that he accused the OP's friend of being a murderer, he probably assumed that she was a safe target because of her sex and that she would not try to harm him.  Had the OP and/or her friend been men, he might not have been so "brave."

[MineralDiva]

I have, wear and enjoy several fur coats. (All re-sale finds, by the way...not that it's really necessary to qualify.)  Though there may be the occasional, unsolicited opinion from others, no one has ever been quite so demonstrative about their objections, as the person your friend experienced.

It is highly inappropriate to behave the way this person did in accosting your friend.  In fact, any unsolicited comment at all, would have been inappropriate.  Even a solicited one should be given with some modicum of grace and tact.

As another poster said, the animal has been dead for however many years.  No amount of NOT wearing the coat is going to bring the creature back. 

To me, wearing the furs I have and enjoying them, is more of an honor to the creature that lost it's life, than throwing it in a pile of rags, because I may disagree that it had to die in the first place.  I didn't kill it all those years ago.  Nor did I have anything to do with those who took it's little life, in pursuit of their own comfort. 

But I am grateful for the sacrifice it made to ultimately bring me warmth and comfort.  So in honor of that, I wear the darned thing...and yes, am nice and toasty.

Other people need to mind their own business and sew their lips shut!

[MineralDiva]

After posting above, I remembered ONE occasion:

Mr. Diva's daughter (who was in high school at the time) was in some event we were going to attend together.  In speaking with her father, she told him she objected to the idea of my wearing fur for any reason.

To be nice, even though it was cold, I chose to wear a wool coat to the concert.  After all, I really didn't know the daughter well...or her mother (his ex) at the time.  So I thought I'd make a better impression on the daughter, if I honored her wishes about not wanting to see me in fur.  But even though I didn't wear it, I STILL heard from both the daughter AND her mother, about how horrible people are, who wear fur...ever. (As we were standing in line, waiting to get into the event!)

I didn't wear the fur, to accomodate their beliefs.  I still got grief for even owning one...even though it was at home and in my closet.  And there was no chance of escape...until we got into the venue, and went our separate ways.  His daughter backstage, and his ex-wife to the OTHER side of the auditorium from us.

It was then that I decided I wouldn't be so accomodating next time.  If I was gonna take crap anyway, I might as well be warm in the process!

[Chartreuse]

This is back to the old rule of "if you don't have anything nice to say about somebody's appearance, keep your mouth shut."  Even if you find it morally offensive to wear animal products, it's none of your business what others are doing.  Unless you want them to dress you, you can't attempt to dress them.  That being said, the guy who did the harrassing was completely out of line.

[Alida]

I get dirty looks at the natural foods store because I have a leather handbag and shoes.

But the same people are also buying organic chicken...

[lolane]

I think that people should just mind their own business. There are plenty of ways to make political statements without harassing people.

I think it's funny that some people find it perfectly acceptable to comment on someone wearing fur, but these same people rarely bat an eye at someone wearing leather shoes or carrying a leather handbag or wallet, or wearing a leather watchband... I guess it's because it would be too time consuming to harass all those people.

 

[Mrs. Eclipse]

In one sense, though, isn't someone who is wearing fur is actively thrusting their politics (i.e. belief that it is okay to wear fur) in everyone's face? 

No.  Definitely not actively.  Wearing a fur coat usually says, "Yes, I believe it is okay for me to wear this coat (for whatever given reason,)" but unless they're actually saying, "I think it's okay for me to wear this coat for whatever given reason," or acting upon it in another way, I feel that simply wearing the coat means they are passively displaying their politics, which is a little different

Thoughts?