Wearing Fur

[MineralDiva]

Personally, I don't think politics really enters into it.  At least not for me.  I saw a mink coat for the same amount of money with which I could have bought a wool coat.  I chose the mink...and have enjoyed it ever since.

That's pretty much the end of the hunt, as far as I'm concerned.  (Bad pun and all.) If someone else would have chosen the wool coat anyway...well, more power to'em.  I made my choice as easily and freely as they could have made theirs.

I don't begrudge them their wool coat.  Nor do I attempt to get into their heads to figure out what reasoning (political or otherwise, passive or aggressive) may have possessed them to buy that, over something else.  When push comes to shove, I don't particularly care about the background of their choice.  I should be afforded the same consideration. 

They don't have to wear what I do.  Nor do I have to wear what they'd choose for themselves.  When all is said and done, my choices are up to me and vice versa.  So when it comes to my fur coat(s)...really, what's it to'em?

[MineralDiva]

It's kind of like the "shop Walmart/don't shop Walmart" debate.  People on both sides have their reasons, and are equally free to exercise the choices they make.  For someone who disagrees with whatever choice someone else makes, to make such a disgusting and public display of it...is rude.

[MrsF]

It's an interesting debate because people generally have very strong views about wearing fur. What I always find odd (I know people on both sides of the debate) is that the man the OP talked about probably wouldn't have made any comment if her friend was wearing a leather coat. The usual response is that cows are farmed and the meat is used, therefore making it more 'acceptable' but so are mink. It is really about the type of treatment of animals which are used for various products, whether it be fur, meat, milk, wool, eggs. (stepping off the soapbox before I go too far).

Regardless, the man was rude and out of line for harassing someone in public. I likely would have called the cops sooner.

[MelJill]

Unfortunately, I suspect that sexism played a large role in this man's behavior.  Despite the fact that he accused the OP's friend of being a murderer, he probably assumed that she was a safe target because of her sex and that she would not try to harm him.  Had the OP and/or her friend been men, he might not have been so "brave."

And that's the truth--if such a thing had happened to me, I would've suggested that he take a hike to [insert name of local biker's hang-out] and tell those lovely gentlemen his opinion about the leather they wear.  (Yes, I know--the bikers in my acquaintance aren't likely to pound him into a greasy spot on the sidewalk, but they sure look like they could.)

The only thing I think the OP's friend did wrong was not whip out the cell phone earlier.  One freebie comment, told to knock it off, anything after that = harassment.

[blarg314]

On the flip side, I don't think it's rude to state a dissenting opinion if the topic comes up naturally.  If the discussion drifts towards the topic, and I state that I don't agree with wearing fur or leather unless the animal is eaten, then it's not a personal attack on a fur owning participant in the conversation, any more than someone stating that they are an ethical vegetarian is an attack on all meat eaters in the group.

If the statement descends to the insulting of the morals of all people holding an opposing opinion, then it gets into the realm of rude.

[DaeOne]

I'm not a fur wearer, I just can't past how most of it is procured. I have seen some of the most gorgeous furs though, and do like the way it feels!

But, I do not care if someone else wants to wear it or not. It's their right, their choice.

I wear leather shoes, to promote better foot health. If I wear pleather shoes, my feet deterioate rather quickly.

But, in response to the OP, I would have phoned the police sooner. I am of the firm opinion that most people who stalk you under guise of freedom of speech are a brick or two shy of a load.

[gjcva1]

On the flip side, I don't think it's rude to state a dissenting opinion if the topic comes up naturally.  If the discussion drifts towards the topic, and I state that I don't agree with wearing fur or leather unless the animal is eaten, then it's not a personal attack on a fur owning participant in the conversation, any more than someone stating that they are an ethical vegetarian is an attack on all meat eaters in the group.

If the statement descends to the insulting of the morals of all people holding an opposing opinion, then it gets into the realm of rude.

blarg, if it's a conversation between two friends (or acquaintences) i'm with you.  when it's a confrontation on the street with one stranger against another?  nope.  i'm calling the cops.

[pinacoladasundae]

Hello all. In response to the question, I was taught to never give your opinion unless asked, and if you (general you) are asked, your response should be both tactful and polite. Even if I happen to disagree with the choices another human being makes, I feel I must temporarily put myself in his/her situation for a moment before I simply open my mouth. We should respect other people’s choices, and practice empathy. .

[gjcva1]

Hello all. In response to the question, I was taught to never give your opinion unless asked, and if you (general you) are asked, your response should be both tactful and polite. Even if I happen to disagree with the choices another human being makes, I feel I must temporarily put myself in his/her situation for a moment before I simply open my mouth. We should respect other people’s choices, and practice empathy. .

very nicely said!

[ImperfctMe]

Well, if I may ask a tangential question, do you think it is ever appropriate to comment upon or otherwise express your opinions about someone's choice of reading material? The situation that prompts my question is that I depend on public transportation to get around and I tend to read on the bus, subway, train, etc. I'm a historian and a grad student, with a specialty in German history, and I read a lot of history books and historically based novels which not infrequently have to do with the Third Reich and have swastikas on the cover. It should be fairly clear from the titles that the books are scholarly in nature. I sometimes get people who comment on what I am reading or just give me dirty looks. I'm not trying to make a statement with my choice of reading but I suppose I can imagine that it could be perceived that way. Should I put the history books away in public? I do try to be sensitive and to keep books that could be miscontrued someplace private.

Might I suggest you get a few of these in different sizes? Then you can read whatever you like (even say, Harry Potter) in total privacy on public transport.
http://store.bookaroocovers.com/bookcov.html

[kingsrings]

I'm a Wal-Mart shopper who can't stand it when people have to pipe up with their protestations over shopping there. I guess they think they're doing some kind of great public service by telling everyone not to shop there. And no, I won't see that stupid anti-WM documentary that was released last year. In fact, for the next person who tells me to not shop at WM, I will make sure to spend double on my purchases there.

[NOVA Lady]

I'm a Wal-Mart shopper who can't stand it when people have to pipe up with their protestations over shopping there. I guess they think they're doing some kind of great public service by telling everyone not to shop there. And no, I won't see that stupid anti-WM documentary that was released last year. In fact, for the next person who tells me to not shop at WM, I will make sure to spend double on my purchases there.

Ahh the protestors who insist everyone else does things their way. I hate that. I personally don't shop at walmart if I can help it, but what do I care where you do your shopping. It falls under the none of my darned business category!


I think the world would be a much more peaceful place if people would remove their noses from the private decisions (shopping choices, clothing, reading choices, and so on) of other people!

[kingsrings]

The problem is is that their side of the coin encourages them to broadcast to the world their boycotts and stuff so that everyone will know 'the truth' and add more fuel to the fire.

[lolane]

The problem in general with protestors of any kind is that extremist will always get the most attention. Mist femininst don't hate men or burn bras, but those type get more attention than the plain old everyday feminist. Most people who dislike Wal-Mart simply choose not to shop there, but protestors harassing people outside the store make better news. If everyone respected other peoples opinions and then minded their own business (and remembered that extremist are generally not representative of the whole group) then we'd be better off.

[ImperfctMe]

I think you have to stop and evaluate just what you are trying to achieve when you harass a stranger for their choices in life, whether it be a bible group protesting homosexuals outside a nightclub or an animal activist chasing you down a street. You are not going to influence many people to consider your opinion by being aggressive and nasty, IMHO. You are merely attempting to attract attention to yourself and show off to the community at large, classic narcissism. These protestors find the attention more appealling than anything else.

I find that by being respectful of other's choices while gently putting forward my opinions tends to let people evaluate them with an open mind. I have already converted a few strangers in the grocery store towards using cloth sacks and reducing the number of plastic produce bags they use just by being friendly and pleasant. Far more effective than obnoxiously mocking someone, I think.