Etiquette School is in session! > "Why would I want to do that?"

Re: I'm not your on-call taxi-driver - update page 2, reply #26

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boxy:
BG:  A few years ago we met Oz and Sharrie (names changed) and began a friendship.  Over time we realized it was very one-sided and gradually distanced ourselves from them.  A major problem was that Oz had phantom health issues and one or two times a month we’d get a dramatic phone call from Sharrie saying she was rushing Oz to the ER, always with the request one of us meet her there.  We took these requests seriously and went.  One time we left a business meeting to rush to the hospital, one time we left a dinner with friends (she later complained no one else came with us even though they didn’t know her and vice versa), one time I spent an entire day driving her to the ER in a different city where her husband had been admitted during a work trip, and on and on.  Oz was always released with a clean bill of health.       End B/G

A year passed without seeing Oz and Sharrie and one night DH just happened to ride home from work on the same bus as Oz.  They talked amicably and agreed we should meet for dinner - which we did and actually had an enjoyable evening.  However, two days later Sharrie called saying urgently, “I’m taking Oz to the ER!!!!  Can you come?”  

My DH said, "let’s go."  We drove the 30 miles to the hospital but Sharrie was no where to be found.  She wasn't answering calls or text messages but a wonderful receptionist tracked her down.  Sharrie thanked us for coming and explained her son was bored and she needed us to take him home.  There we were, the World’s Stupidest People, catering to her 15 year old son because he was bored.  I felt so used.

I want to say something about this to Sharrie, but I want to do it tactfully.  What do you E-Heller's think of this?  “Sharrie, we want to be there for you when you need us but not as taxi drivers for your bored 15 year old.  It’s not acceptable.  I noticed that he had some entertainment like an iPod or a DS so it’s not like he was just sitting doing nothing.  I feel like you abused our willingness to support you guys during this crisis and I'm really hurt."  Then I'd shut up and let her talk.  

something.new.every.day:
At this point, I'd probably just stop answering their calls or making any plans with them.  They sound mentally disturbed. 

If you feel better saying something, go ahead, but be prepared for the fact that they won't "get it".  They'll probably try to make you feel like the bad guy for not being more understanding.  He was, after all, in the ER (not for any real emergency really, but they won't tell you that part).

ShadesOfGrey:
I vote next time she asks you to come, you simply say No. These guys are users.

QueenofAllThings:
Are either of you doctors or nurses? If not, why would you need to rush to the ER every time she calls? The ONLY reason for your presence would be to keep her company - and it sounds like all she wants is attention and drama.

I'd stop answeriing the phone every time she cries wolf. If it is truly serious, you'll know - she'll call back.

boxy:
*slaps forehead* I can't believe I didn't think of this.  The simplest answer is often the best answer, ignoring them at this stage is perfect.  Thanks E-Hellers.   

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