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Captain Know-It-All stories

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In order not to compleatly derail the Special Snowflake stories - how about a now topic?

We had a neighbor once (many many years ago) who was a know it all about plants and shrubs.....

of course he called the many Mulberry trees in the nighborhood "Box Elderberrys"

and no one could convince him otherwise.

Lady Macbeth:
My uncle is one of these. No matter what you are discussing, he knows more about it than you do. But he no longer engages my husband and I in conversation.  This is why...

A couple years ago, we were at a family event. Husband is a biochemist. Uncle learned this and went into a long tirade about how all the good American scientists were defecting to China or Southeast Asian countries, because there were too many limits on research in the U.S...

And then Husband very earnestly explained at length and in great detail why that was incorrect, using many examples of people he knew personally, particularly things his Chinese scientist friends had told him about the state of science in their country (which, to be fair, is not general knowledge). My mother was laughing behind her hand at finally seeing Uncle put in his place, after years of him bulldozing conversations. My technique was always to tune him out; Husband is an excellent debater and has a wide range of knowledge to back up his opinions. He doesn't do it in a nasty way; he just wants to correct false information (if he doesn't know much about a subject he will say so).

As he puts it, he didn't spend more than a decade in school to have someone with no clue tell him about his job.

I have one from a long time ago....I was dating a guy who used to make fun of my shoe collection...which really wasn't all that extensive, but I guess to someone who had maybe 2 pairs, it was a lot. 

This was during the 1980's, during which time Imelda Marcos came under fire for HER shoe collection, and all the money she and her husband spent on themselves, as President and First lady of the Philippines.  My ex BF used to joke and tell me I was just like her, but he INSISTED her name was Amelia, not Imelda, and nothing I could say would convince him otherwise.  Too bad it was pre-Internet, or I would have just googled it to prove him wrong!

The two teachers that insisted that AD stands for After Death. So Finally I asked them what we call the aprox 32 years between the birth of Christ and the Crucifixion of Christ. I wouldn't have gotten into the argument except they were TEACHING this nonsense to kids.

I have had similar arguments about whether Thomas Jefferson wrote the Constitution for the same reason. Thank God for smart phones. I pull up a LOC article about the topic now and hand it to them. 

Thanksgiving one of my Cousins was claiming that Opie called Andy Paul no Pa on the Andy Griffith show. After 5 or so rounds of this I finally said someone look up tv.com's trivia page on the show. That settled that argument.

Usually I just walk away shaking my head.

My uncle, who while my grandfather (his father) was dying, insisted, loudly and repeatedly, to my poor grandmother that grandfather's living will was not valid and that the medical people would just do whatever they wanted.  He just would. not. shut. up. about it, and was adamant that he knew what he was talking about. I snatched the living will off the refrigerator and went off to read it, then came back and told him that (1) it was perfectly valid, and (2) even if it wasn't, grandmother's wishes would prevail. (I'm a paralegal, uncle is an electronics tech.)  He didn't have too much to say after that, but really! Who brings their mother to tears like that at her husband's deathbed?


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