Author Topic: Captain Know-It-All stories  (Read 146243 times)

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Kaymyth

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #1050 on: August 22, 2014, 06:05:24 PM »
If it bites you and you get sick, it's venomous.
If you bite it and you get sick, it's poisonous.

(If it bites you and someone else gets sick, that's correlation, not causation... And if it bites you and nobody gets sick, that's kinky.  ;) ;D)

And if it bites you and it gets sick, you're poisonous. ;D



Hazmat

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #1051 on: August 22, 2014, 06:18:54 PM »
Those of you who think you know everything are extremely annoying to those of us who do.   >:D
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VorFemme

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #1052 on: August 22, 2014, 06:21:01 PM »
If it bites you and you get sick, it's venomous.
If you bite it and you get sick, it's poisonous.

(If it bites you and someone else gets sick, that's correlation, not causation... And if it bites you and nobody gets sick, that's kinky.  ;) ;D)

And if it bites you and it gets sick, you're poisonous. ;D

I've seen that braided into a plot device, as it were, in two science fiction books that I read relatively recently (not necessarily recently published) - Nicholas Van Rijn (character) in Poul Andersons' universe - um, "War of the Wing Men" and David Weber's Prince Roger series - March Upcountry, March to the Sea, March to the Stars, and We Few - I think it was in #2 March to the Sea...but I could have been #1 or #3 instead.

It's odd what makes Snarky & Evil giggle - as long as it's not heresy - like chocolate being the poison!
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Sirius

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #1053 on: August 22, 2014, 06:31:40 PM »
I do have a tendency to be a CKIA but I'm trying to fight it. However the museum stories reminded me of an experience long ago.

I am a huge Laura Ingalls Wilder fan -- I've met Garth Williams, the illustrator, who autographed one of my LIW books. I've also been to all the Little Houses, except for Almanzo's (Farmer Boy). Once at one of the homes, the tour was led by a teen girl (obviously a local girl on a summer job) (I was a mom with little ones at that point).  Often she would point to a photo or an object and say, "and this is where Laura..." or "this is what Laura used to...." when it was obviously where/what Ma or another family member did. Small things but stuff that anyone who has really devoured the books would know instantly.

I don't believe I said anything (it was long ago) as she was so young (maybe 13/14), but I remember being frustrated at knowing more than the tour guide.

I have to really watch it when I go to an astronomical observatory or a space exhibit at a museum.  I've been into astronomy since I was 10 years old (and back then Jupiter only had 12 moons) and I have to really stifle the urge to to take over any tours.  I went on an observatory tour waaaaaaay back when Jupiter's rings had just been discovered, and apparently the tour guide hadn't heard about it because I was told that Saturn was the only ringed planet.  Planetarium shows aren't too bad; most of the time the information is up to the minute, but if you're going to conduct tours somewhere you really should stay up to date on what it's all about. 

IslandMama

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #1054 on: August 22, 2014, 07:05:47 PM »
They also didn't mention dropbears *at all* in the section on Australia.  Seriously?   ;)

Well, they're the kind of thing that isn't easily explained but you totally understand it when you experience it.  So as a country we put it to a vote and requested that all publishers worldwide remove any mention of dropbears unless the books were intended for Australians.  Got to leave some surprises for the tourists, you know?

Mel the Redcap

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #1055 on: August 22, 2014, 07:23:23 PM »
If it bites you and you get sick, it's venomous.
If you bite it and you get sick, it's poisonous.

(If it bites you and someone else gets sick, that's correlation, not causation... And if it bites you and nobody gets sick, that's kinky.  ;) ;D)

May I steal that?

I can't claim credit for coming up with it myself, so go ahead!
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Redsoil

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #1056 on: August 23, 2014, 07:26:58 AM »
We like to keep the drop-bears a secret, so the tourists get that "thrill" of the unknown.
Look out... 
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Jocelyn

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #1057 on: August 24, 2014, 01:03:14 PM »
It doesn't involve a captain of any sort, but I am reminded of the following story by all the accounts of poisonous vs venomous:
A friend of mine was in the Army, and was somewhere in Asia in a remote location, when he was stung by a scorpion. His men quickly radioed in to the nearest hospital, and the doctor inquired whether it were a black or a red scorpion. So there he is, lying there, waiting while his men are literally beating the bushes, trying to find the scorpion.
Then, he hears a voice from the radio: Is Major Ross still alive?
Someone replies affirmatively, and the doctor says, 'Then I know what kind of scorpion it was.'
Gee, thanks, doc.

Although I suppose it wouldn't have been useful for him to say, 'Well, with one color, you'll be dead in 5 minutes, with the other, you're going to survive.'

z_squared82

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #1058 on: August 25, 2014, 01:21:08 PM »
I donít know which one of us was the Captain Know It All in this circumstance, but Iím sharing anyway.

I live in Mid-Size Metropolitan Area. I live on one side of town, my then-boyfriend lived on the other. Took about 30 minutes to get from his place to mine. We were set to go camping, and we were meeting at his friendís house which was another 30 minutes past my place. He says he wants to take X Road. He knows there is an exit off of it from Highway 1. I say, yes, but thatís the wrong direction to get the that exit and then youíre going probably 20 miles on surface streets. I take him the other directions on Highway 1. Where we run into traffic where it connects to Loop Highway 2. He knew it was going to be crowded which is why he wanted to avoid Loop Highway 2 by taking X Road all the way out. Point in his favor. Oh, I say, itís no problem, because I then remembered a back road. So we go the opposite direction on Loop Highway 2 to State Route A. The whole time, he thinks Iím wrong. The whole time, he thinks Iím getting us lost and wasting his time. The whole time he says, ďWell it better take us back onto X Road or I wonít know how to get there!Ē

State Route A took us right to X Road, just past all the traffic. So guess who was right? And guess who never acknowledged that his girlfriend knew what she was doing?

So I might have been the Captain Know It All, but what title can we bestow on someone who gets upset when someone other than themselves is right? General Sourpuss? Lieutenant Doubter? Or is that just another branch of CKIA?

workingmum

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #1059 on: August 27, 2014, 08:11:04 AM »
If it bites you and you get sick, it's venomous.
If you bite it and you get sick, it's poisonous.

(If it bites you and someone else gets sick, that's correlation, not causation... And if it bites you and nobody gets sick, that's kinky.  ;) ;D)

Thats gold!
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workingmum

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #1060 on: August 27, 2014, 08:21:02 AM »
My current office manager (OM)!

She is about 15 years older than me and has been working for the company for 5 years. I've been there for 10 months. I have a very specialised set of skills that is very hard to find and the reason why the owner of the company hired me. I asked why we were doing things one way when it was much more efficient/cost effective to do them another way. OM declared that the way I suggested was illegal. I "cited my sources" (love that phrase by the way!), and OM continued to disagree, as she knows absolutely everything about everything that has to do with everything (forgetting that this particular area is what I have been specialising in for the last 8 years).

When it was proven I was right (by the Owner), a temper tantrum of epic proportions ensued (complete with tears and snuffling about how she is not appreciated) and she has barely spoken to me since.

"I sold my soul for freedom - it's lonely but it's sweet" -Melissa Etheridge

ladyknight1

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #1061 on: August 27, 2014, 11:31:30 AM »
I'm sure you are very sad about the silent treatment.

Lynn2000

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #1062 on: August 27, 2014, 11:42:17 AM »
The "why do you do it this way" story reminds me of my work. I've worked here for over 10 years and the reasons we do things a certain way are because 1) it works; 2) this is science, so standardization is important; 3) the boss has a phobia about change.

Of those reasons, #3 is actually the most important in practical terms. #2 is what I usually start out telling people because it sounds more sane. #1 is not always true, or it works well enough though not with top efficiency, or not as well as it would with a newer method. But honestly, #3 is what will prevent anything from changing, so the sooner people get used to that, the better.
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poundcake

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #1063 on: August 27, 2014, 04:16:56 PM »
I do have a tendency to be a CKIA but I'm trying to fight it. However the museum stories reminded me of an experience long ago.

I am a huge Laura Ingalls Wilder fan -- I've met Garth Williams, the illustrator, who autographed one of my LIW books. I've also been to all the Little Houses, except for Almanzo's (Farmer Boy). Once at one of the homes, the tour was led by a teen girl (obviously a local girl on a summer job) (I was a mom with little ones at that point).  Often she would point to a photo or an object and say, "and this is where Laura..." or "this is what Laura used to...." when it was obviously where/what Ma or another family member did. Small things but stuff that anyone who has really devoured the books would know instantly.

I don't believe I said anything (it was long ago) as she was so young (maybe 13/14), but I remember being frustrated at knowing more than the tour guide.

I'll forgive someone, being young. I had to close my mouth and smile at the tour guide at Rocky Ridge who, after I asked a specific question for which I needed an answer for my academic research, insisted that Rose just did some "light editing" but mostly gave "encouragement." Son, I've been to the archives, I've read the letters, I've seen the different drafts. It was a collaboration. Of course, the other dozen tourists were starting to look a little concerned, mumbling "What do you mean, Laura didn't write the books herself?!"

I'm a total CKIA about a few things. One of the tour guides at Orchard House may have actually started asking me questions about the Alcott family and Lou's publishing history.  >:D

Elfmama

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #1064 on: August 27, 2014, 05:30:19 PM »
I do have a tendency to be a CKIA but I'm trying to fight it. However the museum stories reminded me of an experience long ago.

I am a huge Laura Ingalls Wilder fan -- I've met Garth Williams, the illustrator, who autographed one of my LIW books. I've also been to all the Little Houses, except for Almanzo's (Farmer Boy). Once at one of the homes, the tour was led by a teen girl (obviously a local girl on a summer job) (I was a mom with little ones at that point).  Often she would point to a photo or an object and say, "and this is where Laura..." or "this is what Laura used to...." when it was obviously where/what Ma or another family member did. Small things but stuff that anyone who has really devoured the books would know instantly.

I don't believe I said anything (it was long ago) as she was so young (maybe 13/14), but I remember being frustrated at knowing more than the tour guide.

I'll forgive someone, being young. I had to close my mouth and smile at the tour guide at Rocky Ridge who, after I asked a specific question for which I needed an answer for my academic research, insisted that Rose just did some "light editing" but mostly gave "encouragement." Son, I've been to the archives, I've read the letters, I've seen the different drafts. It was a collaboration. Of course, the other dozen tourists were starting to look a little concerned, mumbling "What do you mean, Laura didn't write the books herself?!"

I'm a total CKIA about a few things. One of the tour guides at Orchard House may have actually started asking me questions about the Alcott family and Lou's publishing history.  >:D
Oh, yes.  Look at The First Four Years, and compare it to the others in the series.  It looks like a rough draft, and I always wondered if it was never published in Laura's lifetime because the memories of that bad time in her life were just too stressful for her to expand and polish it.  But if it was an example of Laura's work alone, then it makes sense.  Rose never did any of her "light editing."
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