Author Topic: Captain Know-It-All stories  (Read 120509 times)

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Little Jo

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #180 on: December 01, 2010, 06:49:51 PM »

A friend of my brother is the biggest Know it all I know.  It is really funny because no matter what we are talking about he will argue. My Sis in law says he could argue with his toenails!
The one I remember is we were talking about the Norman invasion of Ireland. I have studied the Normans extensively. So he starts into the norman invasion saying that it was 1066!
I say "No they did not come over here until 1169!"
Then he turns and launches in to how I am a nit wit and don't know anything. I wait until he runs out of steam and say "It doesn't change the fact that it was May Day 1169!"
Then he says that William I came over. No it was Henry II and it was to ensure that the Normans were to remain loyal to him.
Well he got it so wrong that Evil Jo broke out of her cage and I know I should have kept my beak buttoned but I did not have E hell then and I was getting fed up.
Him: I find Strongbow facinating
Me What's so facinating about him all he did was bring the potatoes to Ireland

Kaymyth

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #181 on: December 01, 2010, 06:57:30 PM »
I had a few friends in college who were of Rainbow faith, and one especially declared herself the authority on all matters pertaining to being a Rainbow.  Only thing was that everyone else I knew who was of the same faith told me the girl had no idea what she was talking about.

I was (and still am) a lapsed Green, who was raised as a pretty liberal Green at that, and was interested about learning about all different faiths and she was willing to teach...only thing is much of her knowledge about Greens was mistaken and severely outdated.  As in citing examples from things the Green churches did back around the time Martin Luther posted his thesis.   She wasn't the only one though, as another friend's bf also considered himself an authority on the Green church...only much of his information was also outdated.   And when I argued with either of them, they told me I was just sheltered and naive. (I was about 2-3 years younger than most of my friends)

The only thing that annoyed me was that I'm of Irish heritage, and proud of it, and whenever I'd wear the green on St. Patty's Day, she'd give me heck about it because "St. Patrick didn't really drive snakes from Ireland, he drove the Rainbows!  So it's Rainbow Persecution Day and as my friend you SHOULD be wearing BLACK to mourn all the persecuted Rainbows!!!!"   ::)   I told her I wouldn't be wearing black, since it's more about celebrating Irish heritage, at least here in the states, and I'm proud of my Irish ancestry.  

Not to mention getting all those dingdangity rainbows out of Ireland ;D

OK, I probably wouldn't say that, it just fries my bacon when people expect me to share their moral outrage over something that happened a very long time ago. I often want to take the contrary view, just because.

Well, I'm sure the leprechauns appreciated it.  It cut down hugely on their pots of gold losses.  :D



Kaymyth

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #182 on: December 01, 2010, 07:02:09 PM »
As for colorblindness, the spectra for all three versions have been worked out.  I'm not sure if it's from study of the cone interactions, empirical studies of colorblind individuals, or a combination of both, but there are very clearly defined color perceptions associated with colorblindness.

I actually did some research on colorblindness a while back, as there's a 25% chance that I'm a carrier.  I learned that there are in fact two different kinds of red-green colorblindness, depending on whether the individual is missing the green or red cones, and that both are gender-linked.  Blue-yellow is rarer and not gender-linked.
There is also acquired color-blindness resulting from head injury.  SIL had a severe head injury as a young child, and has been gradually losing his ability to see colors ever since.  Yellow went first, blue last, so that he is now monochromatic color-blind.  His eyes can still see them, but his brain can't process them.  It still trips me up on occasion; once I asked him what the different colors on a video game meant.  "The dark ones are X, the light ones are Y, and the bright ones are Z."  Corresponding to black, white, and red. 

It's sad, because he can't play games like Uno. :( 

Hm, I wonder if this is like what happened to a friend of mine... he told me he had faded to colorblind but "sometimes purple still pops up."

(Cue me trying to puzzle out how to explain boss fights in World of Warcraft without using color (Putricide for those in the know), but we got it sorted).

I didn't know about that one specifically, Elfmama.  Brain injuries can do weeeeeird things.

Xallanthia, I have an old college friend who's red-green colorblind, but of the "damaged cone" type.  During an RPG session, he once held up a shiny red 10-sided die and commented, "You know, if I turn this thing in the light just right, I can make it turn from green to red and back again...."



Venus193

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #183 on: December 01, 2010, 08:04:12 PM »

Well, I'm sure the leprechauns appreciated it.  It cut down hugely on their pots of gold losses.  :D

Only until they realized that pots of gold aren't worth much after taxes.   ;D

Luci45

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #184 on: December 01, 2010, 08:17:18 PM »
I am a real pain in the rear because whenever a KIA says something really wrong. I say something about 'I don't think that is quite right' and look it up on the computer or my innumerable resource books I have around. I win! My friends say, "Uh-oh. Here goes Lucy again." I don't even get offended, because I'm usually correct. I am really awful about forwarding Snopes info to people who send weird misinformation. I am respected sometimes, and sometimes I notice those folks don't send me crap anymore. WIN!

Once I heard something about cashews, I looked it up before I argued, the speaker was correct, so all I to say was, "Gosh, Jim! Thanks." That one stands out. There are of course many other instances like that, because,sadly, I don't know eveything.

Venus193

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #185 on: December 01, 2010, 08:28:21 PM »
Does this one qualify:

This afternoon I attended a workshop on LinkedIn where I was the youngest person in the room (except for the instructor).  One of the women -- no matter who tried to help her -- kept saying that a certain friend of hers found this difficult and confusing "and if she doesn't get it nobody will.  Absolutely nobody."

I was a hair away from telling her that this was the most presumptuous thing I've heard in a decade, but realized that would not have helped anything.

Luci45

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #186 on: December 01, 2010, 08:57:39 PM »
Does this one qualify:

This afternoon I attended a workshop on LinkedIn where I was the youngest person in the room (except for the instructor).  One of the women -- no matter who tried to help her -- kept saying that a certain friend of hers found this difficult and confusing "and if she doesn't get it nobody will.  Absolutely nobody."

I was a hair away from telling her that this was the most presumptuous thing I've heard in a decade, but realized that would not have helped anything.

Yup. The fellow classmate was presuming that if her brilliant friend couldn't get it, no one could. She was a CKIA about anyone a good student.

Good thing I didn't do that in school. "If that person can't do it, no one can."

(This ranks up there with the exact opposite, my most hated sentence: "If I can do it, anyone can.")

MizB

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #187 on: December 02, 2010, 01:55:03 AM »
I know some people don't believe Horrible Historic Event didn't happen and it just makes my mind explode trying to understand the logic of why anyone would make it up.

A family friend has very interesting theories about the exsistence of anything outside of whatever space he's occupying.  Like, he doesn't think anything exsists outside his front door until he opens the door and the space is filled with his own expectations his mind fills in.  Facinating guy to talk to but that was a bizarre topic of conversation.

As a teenager on a sugar high I developed a theory that I was actually a fictional charcter who existed only in the mind of my creator and anyone reading her/his book. Because, you know, if I was fictional, how would I KNOW?

I don't know how old I was when I first came up with it, but I used to wonder if everyone saw and experienced things completely differently than I - I don't mean just their own subjective opinions, I mean COMPLETELY differently.  Like, maybe to someone else, I wasn't the same person I am to me - to me I'm Paper Roses, but maybe to someone else I'm Zha Zha Gabor, or Liberace, or someone else.  Because, as Corbin says, how would anyone know?  

It's kind of like in high school biology class - we were talking about the lenses in the eye, and how they are similar to camera lenses in that each one turns what you see upside down - and so we have to have an even number of lenses so that we can see things right side up.  Someone asked if it's possible for someone to be born with an uneven number, which would make everything they see upside down.  The teacher answered, "I guess it's possible, but we'd have no way of knowing, because they wouldn't know they were seeing upside down."

Some things can drive you nuts if you think about them long enough.

OOOH I've wondered that too. Like if the color I see as pink someone else sees it as my green, but to them that color is pink.

Or what if human being looks 100% completely different to someone else than it does to me.

As far as created reality Truman Show sounds like the same thing only its other humans doing the creating.

And last one on the ot subject, I dated a guy who thought the whole world was just a figment of his imagination. Kind of insulting really. lol
‘All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing’  attributed to Edmund Burke 1729-1797

dman

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #188 on: December 02, 2010, 01:55:37 AM »
I always found it quite amusing that I was gifted student & knew everything according to my my mother only IN school, the second I set foot out of the school grounds I didn't know one.single.thing.

jenny_islander

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #189 on: December 02, 2010, 03:10:55 AM »
I once dated a guy who insisted that 'if you are on a diet, you are supposed to be hungry.'  Also, being on a diet meant you ONLY ate carrots and celery.  Being hungry and cranky and light-headed was a standard normal feeling, and just give it some time, and you'd adjust.  Dieting = pain and discomfort in his world.

He also turned into the Food Police if any female mentioned she was on a diet.  To the point where he would take food out of someone's hand.  Dieting meant you starved yourself.

So when was he appointed High Captain and Arbiter of Other People's Choices and Bodies?  If somebody grabbed food out of my hand on the grounds that I was dieting, I would probably end up in EHell.  What, are women all naive children who need to be actively managed for their own safety?

FlyingBaconMouse

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #190 on: December 02, 2010, 07:48:15 AM »
I always found it quite amusing that I was gifted student & knew everything according to my my mother only IN school, the second I set foot out of the school grounds I didn't know one.single.thing.

You too, huh? My parents were always trotting out the tale of [Friend's] relative, who had all sorts of degrees but "literally couldn't cross the street by himself."  ::) I've talked to a lot of other people who were smart kids, and I now suspect Friend's relative at least managed to locate a cloning laboratory, the better to send copies of himself around the country to be used as a cautionary tale for bookish children!
I don't kill threads, but I do seem to stun 'em pretty good. :-)

Giggity

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #191 on: December 02, 2010, 08:15:55 AM »
sorry o/t but I just had to comment on Fiver's tag line "If you knit a man a Doctor Who scarf, he'll wear it once or twice. If you teach a man to knit his own damned 12 foot scarf, he'll never take it off!"  I did knit my husband a Dr Who scarf and it's now sitting up the top of the wardrobe because he changed jobs and now drives to work. ::)

Ya see! You've got to make them knit it themselves! My DH wears his all the time. I think he'll stop in the summer, though. It's a hot 12 foot scarf!

That may be the only way Gentleman Friend's gets done. I haven't touched it in like two months.
Words mean things.

Giggity

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #192 on: December 02, 2010, 08:18:18 AM »
I pointed out that one cannot testify in court based on someone else's testimony, because that's called hearsay. He said, "Not if the person who told me was a creditable [sic] witness!  I should know, because I've taken pre-law, and you're just wrong!"

I finished college in 1993. I guess the class offering of "Pre-Law 101" was after that.
Words mean things.

ScubaGirl

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #193 on: December 02, 2010, 09:36:31 AM »
A few years ago an ex-coworker would have some of us other women coworkers to her house for dinner.  It was a very nice way to socialize and relax with each other (and this coworker loved to entertain).  Well, one woman brought her husband unexpectedly once.  He was a nice enough guy but no matter what the conversation, eventually it would turn into him giving us a mini-lecture on the topic.  I was so tempted to start up a topic involving something extremely female-centric and maybe even intimate just to see what he would do.  I didn't.  :) 

blewellyn

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #194 on: December 02, 2010, 09:41:11 AM »

Quote

I've never heard of stroking their cheeks making them trance. I know my rabbits enjoy that very much and will purr.

Rabbits purr?  Like cats?  I didn't know that.  Are there other animals besides cats that purr?

B