Author Topic: Captain Know-It-All stories  (Read 145075 times)

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GoldenGemini

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #225 on: December 02, 2010, 09:23:46 PM »
I see a variation of this all the time. Kids with very poor eye sight that don't realize it. My Dad didn't realize everyone's heart doesn't beat funny after running till he collapsed during PT and the Marine doctors hit the roof. He had a heart defect that was undiagnosed till that incident.

Totally agree. I have pretty sucky vision, apparently for most of my life.  I am also hearing-impaired.  The hearing issue they managed to spot fairly quickly, because of non-responsiveness.  The sight I didn't get fixed until I was 16.  I had no idea that you were supposed to be able to see leaves on trees, and read street signs before you were level with them.  No-one told me, and it's not really something you guess.


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hot_shaker

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #226 on: December 02, 2010, 09:26:08 PM »
I see a variation of this all the time. Kids with very poor eye sight that don't realize it. My Dad didn't realize everyone's heart doesn't beat funny after running till he collapsed during PT and the Marine doctors hit the roof. He had a heart defect that was undiagnosed till that incident.

Totally agree. I have pretty sucky vision, apparently for most of my life.  I am also hearing-impaired.  The hearing issue they managed to spot fairly quickly, because of non-responsiveness.  The sight I didn't get fixed until I was 16.  I had no idea that you were supposed to be able to see leaves on trees, and read street signs before you were level with them.  No-one told me, and it's not really something you guess.

Ha, I had the same experience when I got my first pair of glasses at 15!  Fortunately, I don't think my vision starting getting bad until I was in HS.

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Ms_Shell

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #227 on: December 02, 2010, 09:41:38 PM »
DH has a co-worker who insists the Earth is at the center of the solar system, and that the sun revolves around the Earth.  He also believes that it's someone's actual job to shovel fuel into the sun to keep it burning.  Oh, also that the universe can't possibly last for any more than 500 years, since the sun is going to burn out soon. 

DH is an avid backyard astronomer and I wish co-worker were only trying to wind Dh up, but no, he's perfectly serious and of (mostly) sound mind.
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Gabrielle

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #228 on: December 02, 2010, 09:49:56 PM »
I once had an argument about blood types with a co-worker.

I have a negative blood type. DH has a positive blood type. Should we have children, that means I must get one of those rhogam shots to prevent my blood from forming antibodies against an rh+ fetus. I even had pamphlets from my ladybits doctor explaining this in great detail.

My co-worker tried to argue with me that you only needed that shot if the father is of a negative blood type, not the mother. She kept saying "you only need to get that shot if the father has a negative blood type! the mother's blood type doesn't matter at all since a woman's body automatically knows not to harm the baby!" She would not listen to me, even after I handed her the pamphlets from my doctor explaining the blood type factor and who needs to get the shot. She said "No, see, that's wrong..I'll google it and prove it to you!"

so she gets online, googles it..gets very quiet...and says "oh. wikipedia says that you do get the shot if you're the mother and have a negative blood type..so you were right, I guess."

She wouldn't believe medical literature directly from my doctor's office, but wikipedia proves everything.  ::)

Slightly OT... but I thought this was pretty cool.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1259627/Man-golden-arm-James-Harrison-saves-2million-babies-half-century-donating-rare-blood.html

This one guy is the reason that so many mothers can have healthy kids :)

Dazi

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #229 on: December 02, 2010, 09:51:56 PM »
Then there was the time that she insisted that "mountain lions" and "cougars" were two species separate and apart. When I pointed out that they're just two different names for the same animal (having grown up in an area where those critters are still a definite part of the ecosystem, I know a bit about them. Mostly how to avoid them, because they are scary ;) ), she informed me that SHE studied BIOLOGY therefore she KNEW WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT. Righty-o, then.

That's not even going into how she used to glare at me and make PA comments whenever I ate meat in her presence. Because she was a vegetarian, therefore she should not be exposed to me eating my pork chop at our shared dining room table.

I am SO thankful for the roommate I have now, who is awesome.

This reminds me of the great Puma debate.  I was told by a friend's wife, "Honey, Puma's are shoes and sometimes clothes, not cats".  She refused to believe me even after I pulled out one of her encyclopedias to show her that pumas, panthers, cougars and mountain lions are the same species.

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Paper Roses

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #230 on: December 02, 2010, 10:44:39 PM »
I had a co-worker start laughing at me when I said something about key limes for key lime pie. 

She then said, "Oh, no.  It's called that because it's originally from the Florida Keys, but there's no such thing as key limes." 

Even when a friend brought me back a container of real key lime juice from Florida, she refused to believe that key limes existed and were different from "regular" limes. 
No, you can't, because you wishpishabonnyfish.

wolfie

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #231 on: December 02, 2010, 11:02:43 PM »
I see a variation of this all the time. Kids with very poor eye sight that don't realize it. My Dad didn't realize everyone's heart doesn't beat funny after running till he collapsed during PT and the Marine doctors hit the roof. He had a heart defect that was undiagnosed till that incident.

Totally agree. I have pretty sucky vision, apparently for most of my life.  I am also hearing-impaired.  The hearing issue they managed to spot fairly quickly, because of non-responsiveness.  The sight I didn't get fixed until I was 16.  I had no idea that you were supposed to be able to see leaves on trees, and read street signs before you were level with them.  No-one told me, and it's not really something you guess.

Didn't they do vision exams any time during your checkups or in school? I remember having them in grade school.

Giggity

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #232 on: December 02, 2010, 11:14:01 PM »
Bathroom stalls.  Also designed by men.  Worst architecture design *ever*.

Sure, I can get in past the door (which, 85% of the time, opens inward) and stand on the toilet seat so I can close the door again, no problem.  While dodging the tissue dispenser and the trash box.  

(facepalm)

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fey01

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #233 on: December 02, 2010, 11:20:49 PM »
DH has a co-worker who insists the Earth is at the center of the solar system, and that the sun revolves around the Earth.  He also believes that it's someone's actual job to shovel fuel into the sun to keep it burning.  Oh, also that the universe can't possibly last for any more than 500 years, since the sun is going to burn out soon. 

DH is an avid backyard astronomer and I wish co-worker were only trying to wind Dh up, but no, he's perfectly serious and of (mostly) sound mind.

It's not just him.  Check out geocentrism.com

I have already decided that I will need to be very aware of my
son's science education once the Texas SBOE gets done with
the Science curriculum.  I'll be filling in the gaps at home.

fey

jmarvellous

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #234 on: December 02, 2010, 11:25:04 PM »
I see a variation of this all the time. Kids with very poor eye sight that don't realize it. My Dad didn't realize everyone's heart doesn't beat funny after running till he collapsed during PT and the Marine doctors hit the roof. He had a heart defect that was undiagnosed till that incident.

Totally agree. I have pretty sucky vision, apparently for most of my life.  I am also hearing-impaired.  The hearing issue they managed to spot fairly quickly, because of non-responsiveness.  The sight I didn't get fixed until I was 16.  I had no idea that you were supposed to be able to see leaves on trees, and read street signs before you were level with them.  No-one told me, and it's not really something you guess.

Didn't they do vision exams any time during your checkups or in school? I remember having them in grade school.

I have a severe and incredibly rare birth defect in one eye and learned to memorize the vision chart as best I could when I was really young so they wouldn't bug me in school about the one eye (which had been studied by university doctors and many others, but wasn't something school nurses understood, through no fault of their training). I realized in fourth grade when I couldn't cheat by memorizing it using my right eye ahead of time that I needed glasses for that eye.

People more ingenious than me could find ways to cheat the system most of the time, I'd guess!

WolfWay

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #235 on: December 02, 2010, 11:32:36 PM »
I always found it quite amusing that I was gifted student & knew everything according to my my mother only IN school, the second I set foot out of the school grounds I didn't know one.single.thing.

You too, huh? My parents were always trotting out the tale of [Friend's] relative, who had all sorts of degrees but "literally couldn't cross the street by himself."  ::) I've talked to a lot of other people who were smart kids, and I now suspect Friend's relative at least managed to locate a cloning laboratory, the better to send copies of himself around the country to be used as a cautionary tale for bookish children!

I'm acquainted with some of these as well.  VERY smart, some brilliant, but I alwasy say couldn't find their way out of a paper bag if their life depended on it. I like to think they are so smart because they spend all their time learning, and not enough on the day to day stuff.
Rather like Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory who insists he is "too evolved to drive".  ;D
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WolfWay

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #236 on: December 02, 2010, 11:37:26 PM »
My favorite know-it-all was my neighbor growing up. He insisted that "based on a true story" meant that the movie was nonfiction ... and that therefore Tom Hanks, star of "Apollo 13" had been in space, to cite one example.
Hee hee. The father of a friend of mine insists that Gary Sinise has no lower legs after watching Born on the 4th of July (for those who haven't seen the movie, Gary Sinise plays a character who loses both his lower legs. They accomplish some very impressive shots of him using blue screen techniques where he was wearing blue stockings on his lower legs so they could edit them out of shots to make it look like he genuinely had a double amputation).

He keeps watching CSI:New York and muttering about how it's amazing how that man gets around so well on prosthetics.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2010, 11:44:26 PM by WolfWench »
It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian Tiger - from a distance, preferably separated by bars . -- Pearls Before Swine (16-May-2009)

WolfWay

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #237 on: December 02, 2010, 11:43:43 PM »
Bathroom stalls.  Also designed by men.  Worst architecture design *ever*.

Sure, I can get in past the door (which, 85% of the time, opens inward) and stand on the toilet seat so I can close the door again, no problem.  While dodging the tissue dispenser and the trash box.  

(facepalm)

Emma

I've never found a bathroom door I couldn't close while I was in the stall.
Lucky you, I've found several this year alone. The most common flaw is that they leave too little space between the toilet bowl and the area where the door sweeps inwards, meaning that once you're inside the toilet, your legs prevent the door from swinging closed again. You either have to stand on the toilet to let the door close, or stand with your legs either side of the toilet.
It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian Tiger - from a distance, preferably separated by bars . -- Pearls Before Swine (16-May-2009)

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #238 on: December 02, 2010, 11:46:05 PM »
My favorite know-it-all was my neighbor growing up. He insisted that "based on a true story" meant that the movie was nonfiction ... and that therefore Tom Hanks, star of "Apollo 13" had been in space, to cite one example.
Hee hee. The father of a friend of mine insists that Gary Sinise has no lower legs after watching Born on the 4th of July (for those who haven't seen the movie, Gary Sinise plays a character who loses both his lower legs. They accomplish some very impressive shots of him using blue screen techniques where he was wearing blue stockings on his lower legs so they could edit them out of shots to make it look like he genuinely had a double amputation).

He keeps watching CSI:New York and muttering about how it's amazing how that man gets around so well on prosthetics.

Don't forget him as Lt. Dan!!
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

GoldenGemini

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #239 on: December 02, 2010, 11:52:03 PM »
I see a variation of this all the time. Kids with very poor eye sight that don't realize it. My Dad didn't realize everyone's heart doesn't beat funny after running till he collapsed during PT and the Marine doctors hit the roof. He had a heart defect that was undiagnosed till that incident.

Totally agree. I have pretty sucky vision, apparently for most of my life.  I am also hearing-impaired.  The hearing issue they managed to spot fairly quickly, because of non-responsiveness.  The sight I didn't get fixed until I was 16.  I had no idea that you were supposed to be able to see leaves on trees, and read street signs before you were level with them.  No-one told me, and it's not really something you guess.

Didn't they do vision exams any time during your checkups or in school? I remember having them in grade school.

We had one when I started school (age four) when apparently it wasn't as obvious.  The next one wasn't until about Year 8 (age 12), unless parents requested them and I kinda guessed most of it. I had been guessing words for long time by then, and the general shapes of things, and figured that is how it was done. I obviously didn't get to the bottom line, but that wasn't necessary.


Consistency
It's only a virtue if you're not a screwup   - Demotivators(R)