Author Topic: Captain Know-It-All stories  (Read 152938 times)

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artk2002

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #930 on: April 07, 2013, 07:22:50 PM »
Doctors with god complexes are the worst.  Since I've just moved back to this area, I had to deal with a new ortho when oldest was hospitalized a few weeks ago. I originally went to one hospital because I thought the ortho they'd seen when they were little had retired (he hadn't, but isn't seeing new patients.) Anyway, this new guy was awful.  It was his way or the highway.  At some point the discussion turned to my youngest son and he made some statements as though his word was law without even knowing the whole story.  I looked at him nearly slack-jawed, told him that I no longer felt he could competently care for my children and walked out of the appointment.

We were just condescended to by my son's pediatric GI doctor. He managed to insult: 1) His colleague, the allergist; 2) His nurses and staff; 3) Mrs.k2002, an RN, basically saying the he and only he knew anything about this particular issue. He then went on to tell us that we were very unusual in the amount of dairy that we have in our diet. He wanted my son to go dairy free and we explained that, unless there was an extremely strong reason to do so, we weren't going to comply. Although dairy is often implicated in the issue we are dealing with, it's not definitive and there weren't enough indicators (to us) to justify a change like that. The doctor (actually an osteopath, not an MD) told us that he and the people he knows didn't eat that much dairy and had no problem giving it up. The fact that he's a member of an ethnic group that is 90-100% lactose intolerant wouldn't have anything to with that one. [/sarcasm]

We're looking for a second opinion. He's far too invested in Z's problem being this particular syndrome.

Among the other things he did was to be very reluctant to tell us the quantitative value for a particular marker, claiming that it wasn't a definitive value. Except that every research paper abstract I read (and I spent a lot of time on PubMed) mentioned this particular threshold in the diagnosis. The pathologists report said "a few" and "some," and that, apparently, was good enough for him. Not good enough for me, I'm afraid.
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MommyPenguin

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #931 on: April 07, 2013, 07:29:07 PM »
I went to see a doctor about a foot problem I had when I was in college.  For most of my life, I'd noticed that that particular foot was more sensitive.  For instance, if I accidentally stepped on the hose, or a stick, or something, so that it pressed on the bottom of the arch, it caused extreme pain... but only on that foot.  At one point it was bothering me enough that my dad took me to a doctor.  I was maybe 19-20, so not all that experienced at making myself heard and understood independently.  The doctor didn't even look at my foot, told me that I needed better arch support, told me to do some exercises (that hurt and felt *wrong* somehow), and that was it.  Arch support caused extreme pain on that foot and had been something we'd already tried (I have very high arches).  I remember feeling so condescended to that I cried after that appointment.  I was really just too inexperienced and didn't really know how to make myself understood, but the doctor also just seemed to think she knew what the problem was without even really examining me.  When we went to another doctor, he discovered a tumor in my foot.  I always sort of wanted to go back to that first doctor and say, "Ha!  See, there really was something wrong!"

Kariachi

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #932 on: April 07, 2013, 11:46:18 PM »
On the topic of doctors...

I was born healthy and on time, this is important. There were no problems, or at least none that anyone bothered to tell my parents about.

The doctor insisted that I had to eat a certain amount before I could go home, I can't remember how much off the top of my head. Certain amount, had to. And it had to be this special iron-supplemented formula 'cause I'm a girl and apparently the iron deficiencies start at birth.  ::)

Three days of getting my fluids through an iv later, after hearing about how something must be wrong with me because I wasn't eating,  my dad finally just grabbed a bottle of normal formula off a shelf.

Three bottles and about few hours later he was showing me off at the bar.  ;D
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doodlemor

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #933 on: April 08, 2013, 12:03:19 AM »
Doctors with god complexes are the worst.  Since I've just moved back to this area, I had to deal with a new ortho when oldest was hospitalized a few weeks ago. I originally went to one hospital because I thought the ortho they'd seen when they were little had retired (he hadn't, but isn't seeing new patients.) Anyway, this new guy was awful.  It was his way or the highway.  At some point the discussion turned to my youngest son and he made some statements as though his word was law without even knowing the whole story.  I looked at him nearly slack-jawed, told him that I no longer felt he could competently care for my children and walked out of the appointment.

We were just condescended to by my son's pediatric GI doctor. He managed to insult: 1) His colleague, the allergist; 2) His nurses and staff; 3) Mrs.k2002, an RN, basically saying the he and only he knew anything about this particular issue. He then went on to tell us that we were very unusual in the amount of dairy that we have in our diet. He wanted my son to go dairy free and we explained that, unless there was an extremely strong reason to do so, we weren't going to comply. Although dairy is often implicated in the issue we are dealing with, it's not definitive and there weren't enough indicators (to us) to justify a change like that. The doctor (actually an osteopath, not an MD) told us that he and the people he knows didn't eat that much dairy and had no problem giving it up. The fact that he's a member of an ethnic group that is 90-100% lactose intolerant wouldn't have anything to with that one. [/sarcasm]

We're looking for a second opinion. He's far too invested in Z's problem being this particular syndrome.

Among the other things he did was to be very reluctant to tell us the quantitative value for a particular marker, claiming that it wasn't a definitive value. Except that every research paper abstract I read (and I spent a lot of time on PubMed) mentioned this particular threshold in the diagnosis. The pathologists report said "a few" and "some," and that, apparently, was good enough for him. Not good enough for me, I'm afraid.

Slight threadjack here - One of my friends has a son who was tolerant to milk at some times of the year, and other times couldn't drink it.  They tracked this down to what the cows were eating during various seasons.  Once they knew when to avoid milk, all was fine.

Sometimes finding the source of a problem takes a lot of detective work.  Best of luck with your son, art.

medowynd

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #934 on: April 08, 2013, 01:01:13 AM »
When I had my first daughter, I studied the Bradley method for natural birth, this was the late '70's.  As I was reading his book, I discovered that the good doctor recommended a hysterectomy for a woman after she was through having children, because who needs that useless organ.  I horrified my midwife when I told her I would have a hysterectomy, after the good doctor was neutered, because he was through having children.  I assume later revisions of the book have eliminated this particular recommendation. 

His birth method was very effective.

Carotte

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #935 on: April 08, 2013, 06:52:07 AM »
I had a case of Doctor know it all and never shopping here again too.
I had to see an ear and throat doctor for some problem, and already knew what I had (that turned true, not always the case of course, but syndromes where 100% spot on).
The first doctor A at the hospital (normal consult, we live just in front of it) dismissed me, downplayed my syndromes and his nurse kept banging metal instruments behind me, while I was explaining that noises hurt me and all. He never pronounced the name of the condition or told me what the course of action was.
Second doctor B listened for 5 minutes, told me what I had and explained what I could do.

When my mom was ready to look into her hearing problems (she had done a good case of the ostrich for a few years) I sent her to doctor B who operated her at the hospital price instead of the clinic price he could have used.
I'm not sure doctor A his who she was supposed to see and who was a great doctor/surgeon but had a reputation of not being a good human being but I'm glad she and I went with B, great doc all around.

Kimblee

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #936 on: April 08, 2013, 01:26:09 PM »
So apparently a first baby cannot come early.
Ever.
Ever in the history of babies arriving.

Yes, Captain Know-It-All just informed me that there is no way on this Earth that my baby could possibly arrive early (in spite of the family history of babies appearing early and the irregular but getting stronger contractions I've had over the last few days) because first babies are *always* late.

The fact that I'm a first baby and was almost a month premature?

"Your mother must have got her dates mixed up."

I suppose he should have told my eldest son who came several (33) weeks early.  My next son came 5 (35) weeks early and my youngest made it full term (37 weeks) by 2 days. If it follows this pattern my next one will come at 39 weeks :)

A friend of mine's oldest brother was a very early first baby.

7 1/2 month baby... weighing in at almost 12 pounds. The fact that he was born 8 months to the day after his devout Muslim parents anniversary is.... coincidental. ;) The fact that they had planned a spring wedding and instead had a winter wedding... VERY coincidental.

I would never say anything unkind about his parents. They are lovely people(and told me this story themselves, while laughing) and in their defense (not that they need any defense.) they had been engaged for almost two years in advance of their wedding.
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exitzero

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #937 on: April 08, 2013, 01:33:13 PM »
So apparently a first baby cannot come early.
Ever.
Ever in the history of babies arriving.

Yes, Captain Know-It-All just informed me that there is no way on this Earth that my baby could possibly arrive early (in spite of the family history of babies appearing early and the irregular but getting stronger contractions I've had over the last few days) because first babies are *always* late.

The fact that I'm a first baby and was almost a month premature?

"Your mother must have got her dates mixed up."

I suppose he should have told my eldest son who came several (33) weeks early.  My next son came 5 (35) weeks early and my youngest made it full term (37 weeks) by 2 days. If it follows this pattern my next one will come at 39 weeks :)

A friend of mine's oldest brother was a very early first baby.

7 1/2 month baby... weighing in at almost 12 pounds. The fact that he was born 8 months to the day after his devout Muslim parents anniversary is.... coincidental. ;) The fact that they had planned a spring wedding and instead had a winter wedding... VERY coincidental.

I would never say anything unkind about his parents. They are lovely people(and told me this story themselves, while laughing) and in their defense (not that they need any defense.) they had been engaged for almost two years in advance of their wedding.

I was reading Penny Marshall's autobiography and she says when she brought her daughter back to New York from California to visit, her mother tried to get the daughter to not talk so much, because she told everyone that the baby was 6 months younger than she actually was, so no one would know that she was born less than 9 months after Penny was married.

Kimblee

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #938 on: April 08, 2013, 01:38:45 PM »
When my  mom was pregnant with me in 1962, she lived on a diet of coffee and cigarettes; she'd have tuna fish for breakfast, one hard boiled egg for lunch.  Her doctor wouldn't 'let' her gain more than I think 14 pounds, because 'he didn't want her coming back after the baby was born complaining about how much weight she gained'.  The best part?  My mother was an RN, and at this point had been managing the recovery room for several years.  But in those days, what Doctor says is gospel.
My mother was an RN and she followed some realllllly stupid "rules" her doctor laid out. Many years later, she looked back and said, 'CRIVINS! was I thinking? I guess we were so brainwashed in nursing school about doctor=god, that we stopped thinking for ourselves." Amongst his priceless comments:

1. There is no such thing as morning sickness. Any woman who doesn't feel good during her pregnancy is just dramatic and/or a wimp and/or hates her unborn child.
2. Older children hate babies and should be kept away from them at all times. If an older child is left alone with a baby, they may smother it. Hence, when my sister was born, I was only allowed near her once the first year of her life-- at Xmas to take a picture. I have a clear memory of being allowed to stand near her in her bassinet and then being told to get out of the room.

Rule 2 is just weird... every kid I've known with a little sibling seems pretty ecstatic over it. At least until lil' sibling learns to bite/steal toys/walk.
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Hillia

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #939 on: April 08, 2013, 03:07:14 PM »
When my  mom was pregnant with me in 1962, she lived on a diet of coffee and cigarettes; she'd have tuna fish for breakfast, one hard boiled egg for lunch.  Her doctor wouldn't 'let' her gain more than I think 14 pounds, because 'he didn't want her coming back after the baby was born complaining about how much weight she gained'.  The best part?  My mother was an RN, and at this point had been managing the recovery room for several years.  But in those days, what Doctor says is gospel.
My mother was an RN and she followed some realllllly stupid "rules" her doctor laid out. Many years later, she looked back and said, 'CRIVINS! was I thinking? I guess we were so brainwashed in nursing school about doctor=god, that we stopped thinking for ourselves." Amongst his priceless comments:

1. There is no such thing as morning sickness. Any woman who doesn't feel good during her pregnancy is just dramatic and/or a wimp and/or hates her unborn child.
2. Older children hate babies and should be kept away from them at all times. If an older child is left alone with a baby, they may smother it. Hence, when my sister was born, I was only allowed near her once the first year of her life-- at Xmas to take a picture. I have a clear memory of being allowed to stand near her in her bassinet and then being told to get out of the room.

Rule 2 is just weird... every kid I've known with a little sibling seems pretty ecstatic over it. At least until lil' sibling learns to bite/steal toys/walk.

When my brother (4 years younger) came home from the hospital, my mother had someone else, an aunt I think, carry him in to the house while she sat on the couch with me - she was worried I'd be jealous.  I don't think she worried that I'd try to hurt him, just trying to head off jealousy and regression.

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MommyPenguin

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #940 on: April 08, 2013, 03:09:29 PM »
I think that siblings can go through very different feelings at different times.  Can depend on the age differential, too.  I do know that my husband had a great-aunt with lifelong medical issues because her older brother jumped on her when she was a baby (out of exuberance, not a deliberate attempt to hurt).  She was in the hospital for months and almost died.  I felt so bad for the older brother when I heard that story... imagine living your life knowing that you, at age 2 or whatever, were responsible for serious physical problems that your little sister had to deal with all her life.

Ms_Cellany

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #941 on: April 08, 2013, 03:12:58 PM »
On a lighter note, my father was the oldest of three sibs. He tells this story:

The baby, "Jenny," was upstairs sleeping when all of a sudden my grandmother hears her screaming and crying. She runs upstairs. En route, she encounters middle kid, "Carson," who says, "I didn't pull her hair! I didn't poke her in the eye!"
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Margo

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #942 on: April 08, 2013, 04:31:34 PM »
I had a Captain Know It All Doctor, too.

When I was 11 I broke my leg. I spent several weeks in hospital, then they let me out with a (hip to toe) lightweight cast. Said cast was made mostly of some form of fibreglass, which, it turns out, I am highly sensitive to. (that's not the know it all part. We didn't know, there's no way the hospital could have known)

However, when my parents took me back to say "there's something seriously wrong, you need to take the cast off and find out what it is" the consultant was beyond patronising. He ignored the fact that my GP had referred me back as he was concerned, and my parents explanation that I was a very stoical child and if said it hurt, I did not mean it itched. In the end, my mother told him she was not leaving until he took the cast off.

He actually said to my mother (and I Quote)  "You and your daughter are making a fuss about nothing. I will take it off, as you insist, but you needed think we will re-plaster the leg afterwards, when you see it's fine. " >:(

He never apologised afterwards, when (very slowly, (and painfully for me)) they removed the cast and found that yes, actually, it was a very long way from fine.

Years later I saw a letter he'd sent to my GP which actually *said* he'd thought that we were making a fuss about nothing, and was surprised to find that there was a 'serious reaction'. Never bothered to admit that to me or my poor mother. It's more than 20 years ago, now, and *still* annoys me when I think about it :-)


Hillia

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #943 on: April 08, 2013, 05:12:45 PM »
Combination of cheapskate and CKIA.

My ILs are very, very, very cheap.  Except for FIL's guns and hobbies - there, no expense too great.  Anyway...

When DH was about 16 (so 15 or so years ago), he needed his wisdom teeth extracted.  They found a dentist who would do all 4 bony impactions for $300.  That was the total charge, not the copay or patient portion after insurance.  DH got a Valium tablet and some Novocain and the dentist went to town.

A week later, DH was in excruciating pain; he was going through a bottle of aspirin a day.  His mother kept calling the dentist, who kept telling her there was 'no way' he was in that much pain from an extraction.  She finally took him back in, over the dentist's objections, and it turned out he had some horrible infection at all 4 extraction sites.  He had fragments of bone showing up for years afterwards, working their way out of his gums.

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Twik

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #944 on: April 08, 2013, 05:16:46 PM »
Rule 2 is just weird... every kid I've known with a little sibling seems pretty ecstatic over it. At least until lil' sibling learns to bite/steal toys/walk.

It's amusing (and a little bit scary) to read old magazines where they have advice from the experts of early 20th century, regarding psychology, health and child care. Some of the suggestions seem almost deliberately perverse to our eyes. And yet, people followed them, because they were considered scientifically proven. Surely, the experts knew what they were talking about, right?

It makes me wonder what we do these days that, years later, people will be saying, "Ewww, I can't believe they told parents to do THAT, and the parents believed them!"
« Last Edit: April 08, 2013, 05:24:31 PM by Twik »
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