Author Topic: Captain Know-It-All stories  (Read 156942 times)

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HushHush

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #135 on: November 30, 2010, 07:21:54 PM »
Heinlein sounds familiar.  I know he read it out of a book and was starting to get really into it and the theory.

One Goat to Rule Them All

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #136 on: November 30, 2010, 07:27:38 PM »
Philip K wingadingdingy wrote a short story called "Adjustment Team", which is basically a story about how Dogs construct and control our reality. It's bizarre!

Ok, that's just funny! His name is not "Philip K wingadingdingy". It's Philip K. D*ck.

Paper Roses

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #137 on: November 30, 2010, 07:30:22 PM »
I know some people don't believe Horrible Historic Event didn't happen and it just makes my mind explode trying to understand the logic of why anyone would make it up.

A family friend has very interesting theories about the exsistence of anything outside of whatever space he's occupying.  Like, he doesn't think anything exsists outside his front door until he opens the door and the space is filled with his own expectations his mind fills in.  Facinating guy to talk to but that was a bizarre topic of conversation.

As a teenager on a sugar high I developed a theory that I was actually a fictional charcter who existed only in the mind of my creator and anyone reading her/his book. Because, you know, if I was fictional, how would I KNOW?

I don't know how old I was when I first came up with it, but I used to wonder if everyone saw and experienced things completely differently than I - I don't mean just their own subjective opinions, I mean COMPLETELY differently.  Like, maybe to someone else, I wasn't the same person I am to me - to me I'm Paper Roses, but maybe to someone else I'm Zha Zha Gabor, or Liberace, or someone else.  Because, as Corbin says, how would anyone know?  

It's kind of like in high school biology class - we were talking about the lenses in the eye, and how they are similar to camera lenses in that each one turns what you see upside down - and so we have to have an even number of lenses so that we can see things right side up.  Someone asked if it's possible for someone to be born with an uneven number, which would make everything they see upside down.  The teacher answered, "I guess it's possible, but we'd have no way of knowing, because they wouldn't know they were seeing upside down."

Some things can drive you nuts if you think about them long enough.
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baglady

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #138 on: November 30, 2010, 07:38:57 PM »
Quote
As a teenager on a sugar high I developed a theory that I was actually a fictional charcter who existed only in the mind of my creator and anyone reading her/his book. Because, you know, if I was fictional, how would I KNOW?

Hmmm... you sure it was just sugar you were high on?  ;D

Quote
Aren't there a few Stephen King stories based on that theory, about the world being a set? "The Langoliers" kind of fits that, and there was a show--maybe the '80s version of the Twilight Zone?--that did an episode like that. (I don't think the Twilight Zone was based on a Stephen King story, but I'm not sure.

There was at least one episode of the 1980s "Twilight Zone" revival that was based on a Stephen King story. But the "We're just characters in someone else's universe/pawns in someone else's game" was a popular "TZ" trope when King was just a tyke. I'm guessing King got his inspiration from "TZ" more than the other way around.

(Also, Kurt Vonnegut's "Sirens of Titan" had a similar theme. It came out in 1959, same year "Twilight Zone" debuted.)
« Last Edit: November 30, 2010, 07:44:31 PM by baglady »
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amyg

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #139 on: November 30, 2010, 07:43:15 PM »


I don't know how old I was when I first came up with it, but I used to wonder if everyone saw and experienced things completely differently than I - I don't mean just their own subjective opinions, I mean COMPLETELY differently.  Like, maybe to someone else, I wasn't the same person I am to me - to me I'm Paper Roses, but maybe to someone else I'm Zha Zha Gabor, or Liberace, or someone else.  Because, as Corbin says, how would anyone know?  

It's kind of like in high school biology class - we were talking about the lenses in the eye, and how they are similar to camera lenses in that each one turns what you see upside down - and so we have to have an even number of lenses so that we can see things right side up.  Someone asked if it's possible for someone to be born with an uneven number, which would make everything they see upside down.  The teacher answered, "I guess it's possible, but we'd have no way of knowing, because they wouldn't know they were seeing upside down."

Some things can drive you nuts if you think about them long enough.

Yeah, that's a big thing in cognitive science; we have to assume that everyone has the same perceptual universe, more or less, or the whole thing is just futile. The essential perceptual quality of something is known as qualia; we assume that everyone's qualia of red is the same (well, except for colorblind people); but for all we know, when you look at something red, the qualia you experience is the same as what I experience when I see something blue, and vice versa. But we'll never know.

DangerMouth

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #140 on: November 30, 2010, 07:44:43 PM »
I know some people don't believe Horrible Historic Event didn't happen and it just makes my mind explode trying to understand the logic of why anyone would make it up.

A family friend has very interesting theories about the exsistence of anything outside of whatever space he's occupying.  Like, he doesn't think anything exsists outside his front door until he opens the door and the space is filled with his own expectations his mind fills in.  Facinating guy to talk to but that was a bizarre topic of conversation.

As a teenager on a sugar high I developed a theory that I was actually a fictional charcter who existed only in the mind of my creator and anyone reading her/his book. Because, you know, if I was fictional, how would I KNOW?

I don't know how old I was when I first came up with it, but I used to wonder if everyone saw and experienced things completely differently than I - I don't mean just their own subjective opinions, I mean COMPLETELY differently.  Like, maybe to someone else, I wasn't the same person I am to me - to me I'm Paper Roses, but maybe to someone else I'm Zha Zha Gabor, or Liberace, or someone else.  Because, as Corbin says, how would anyone know?  

It's kind of like in high school biology class - we were talking about the lenses in the eye, and how they are similar to camera lenses in that each one turns what you see upside down - and so we have to have an even number of lenses so that we can see things right side up.  Someone asked if it's possible for someone to be born with an uneven number, which would make everything they see upside down.  The teacher answered, "I guess it's possible, but we'd have no way of knowing, because they wouldn't know they were seeing upside down."

Some things can drive you nuts if you think about them long enough.

Like colorblindness. They way that can even get communicated blows me away. I mean, eventually they figured it out, but ???

I have a blind (from birth) friend, and when asked about her 'color' associations, she sounds like a synaesthete. She'll say 'white is the smell of fresh paint' because her first memory of 'white' is passing a freshly painted wall and asking her mom what color it was. Stuff like that.

Melxb

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #141 on: November 30, 2010, 07:57:14 PM »
My mom doesn't think that anyone landed on the moon.  She's really steadfast in her beliefs:

1)  No one landed on the moon.  They were orchestrated by the government as cold war propaganda.

3)  President L.B. Johnson conspired to assassinated President Kennedy.  She bases this on a photograph of LBJ, with Jackie Kennedy standing besides him in her blood stained pink suit, smirking. 

It's not that she's a know-it-all.  My mother is one of the most levelheaded people I've ever known.  The woman has more common sense in her little finger than most people will ever have.  She's just....very skeptical and critical of "government goings-on" as she calls them.  I love her.  ;D

Maybe we should start another thread on conspiracy theories?

StarFaerie

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #142 on: November 30, 2010, 08:54:21 PM »

It's kind of like in high school biology class - we were talking about the lenses in the eye, and how they are similar to camera lenses in that each one turns what you see upside down - and so we have to have an even number of lenses so that we can see things right side up.  Someone asked if it's possible for someone to be born with an uneven number, which would make everything they see upside down.  The teacher answered, "I guess it's possible, but we'd have no way of knowing, because they wouldn't know they were seeing upside down."

Some things can drive you nuts if you think about them long enough.

I think I may have misunderstood this. Even number of lenses? I thought humans only had one lens in each eye and that the image on the retina is upside down. But happy to be corrected if I am wrong again.

SheltieMom

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #143 on: November 30, 2010, 09:08:15 PM »
Someone started a conspiracy theory thread, so I'll get us back on track. ;)

In the late 70's, I was a first year teacher in a junior high school, where most of the students were taller than me, and didn't want to take me seriously. I taught 8th grade math. When we reached the unit on prime numbers, I explained what prime numbers are, and had them memorize the prime numbers less than 100. The students informed me that my list was wrong! They insisted that 0 and 1 are prime numbers, and 2 was not. It didn't matter how many books I showed them, they simply did not believe me. When I asked them why, they said, "because Other Teacher said so." Other Teacher was a science teacher, not math. I suppose there might have been something in his curriculum about prime and composite numbers, but I don't think so.
Other Teacher was an older man who dressed like an old time gangster, in a pinstriped suit, with a cigar in his hand and a Bible in his pocket at all times. I don't think he smoked the cigar in class, but I never saw him without it. He also jumped all over another teacher who asked him what version of the Bible would be best for her to read. He whipped out his Bible, opened it to the title page, and literally screamed at her that the King James version was the only AUTHORIZED version. Then he stormed out of the teachers' lounge. I quietly told her that the KJV was authorized by King James, and I wasn't sure she needed to worry about him.

To tell you the truth, I think we all, including the principals, were a little afraid of Other Teacher. I sure wasn't about to cross him. I guess all the students he taught may still believe that 0 & 1 are prime, and 2 isn't, in spite of my best efforts.
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Morticia

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #144 on: November 30, 2010, 09:47:45 PM »


I don't know how old I was when I first came up with it, but I used to wonder if everyone saw and experienced things completely differently than I - I don't mean just their own subjective opinions, I mean COMPLETELY differently.  Like, maybe to someone else, I wasn't the same person I am to me - to me I'm Paper Roses, but maybe to someone else I'm Zha Zha Gabor, or Liberace, or someone else.  Because, as Corbin says, how would anyone know?  

It's kind of like in high school biology class - we were talking about the lenses in the eye, and how they are similar to camera lenses in that each one turns what you see upside down - and so we have to have an even number of lenses so that we can see things right side up.  Someone asked if it's possible for someone to be born with an uneven number, which would make everything they see upside down.  The teacher answered, "I guess it's possible, but we'd have no way of knowing, because they wouldn't know they were seeing upside down."

Some things can drive you nuts if you think about them long enough.

Yeah, that's a big thing in cognitive science; we have to assume that everyone has the same perceptual universe, more or less, or the whole thing is just futile. The essential perceptual quality of something is known as qualia; we assume that everyone's qualia of red is the same (well, except for colorblind people); but for all we know, when you look at something red, the qualia you experience is the same as what I experience when I see something blue, and vice versa. But we'll never know.

I've always wondered this myself. About 26 years ago, I tried to explain this to my personal Captain KIA. He could not grasp the notion. But, then, he also didn't get time as the 4th dimension. I dumped him after he expounded, at length, on my shortcomings (I was stunned speechless during his tirade, when it was over, I told him we should cut our losses since we didn't like each other very much).
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Paper Roses

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #145 on: November 30, 2010, 10:03:00 PM »

It's kind of like in high school biology class - we were talking about the lenses in the eye, and how they are similar to camera lenses in that each one turns what you see upside down - and so we have to have an even number of lenses so that we can see things right side up.  Someone asked if it's possible for someone to be born with an uneven number, which would make everything they see upside down.  The teacher answered, "I guess it's possible, but we'd have no way of knowing, because they wouldn't know they were seeing upside down."

Some things can drive you nuts if you think about them long enough.

I think I may have misunderstood this. Even number of lenses? I thought humans only had one lens in each eye and that the image on the retina is upside down. But happy to be corrected if I am wrong again.

Maybe that's it - the question was what if someone is born without the lens, or maybe with an extra one.  I don't recall exactly.  The point was that there very well could be people walking around seeing everything upside down, but no one would ever know, because to them, upside down would be "normal." 
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JadeGirl

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #146 on: November 30, 2010, 10:29:52 PM »
Unfortunately I seem to attract the KIAs in my SO's family.  Apparently some of these people only think I'm acceptable to the family because my education and career offset the fact that I'm of a different race  ::)

I've been told that everything I learned is "just common sense" and I didn't need to get a "fancy degree", just life experience.  

Did you know that:

- plastic-handled metal cutlery harbours germs that cause babies to die
- the only safe way to eat steak is if it is black on the outside and the texture of shoe leather
- niece was born with spine and heart defects because SIL exercised during her pregnancy (with Dr's permission, might I add, but then again, they don't know anything, right?)
- niece has juvenile diabetes because SIL didn't breast feed (not exactly her choice, see item above)
- washing your hair during "that time of the month" will make your lungs rot and you will die
- viruses and bacteria are the same, and Drs who won't give you (government-subsidised) antibiotics for a cold are part of a government conspiracy against older people

I try to keep a straight face, and SO and I usually have a good laugh when we get home.

CakeBeret

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #147 on: November 30, 2010, 10:40:39 PM »
"From a procrastination standpoint, today has been wildly successful."

DangerMouth

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #148 on: November 30, 2010, 10:44:41 PM »

It's kind of like in high school biology class - we were talking about the lenses in the eye, and how they are similar to camera lenses in that each one turns what you see upside down - and so we have to have an even number of lenses so that we can see things right side up.  Someone asked if it's possible for someone to be born with an uneven number, which would make everything they see upside down.  The teacher answered, "I guess it's possible, but we'd have no way of knowing, because they wouldn't know they were seeing upside down."

Some things can drive you nuts if you think about them long enough.

I think I may have misunderstood this. Even number of lenses? I thought humans only had one lens in each eye and that the image on the retina is upside down. But happy to be corrected if I am wrong again.

Maybe that's it - the question was what if someone is born without the lens, or maybe with an extra one.  I don't recall exactly.  The point was that there very well could be people walking around seeing everything upside down, but no one would ever know, because to them, upside down would be "normal." 

Yeah, but wouldn't you/they figure it out if you said 'point to the sky' and they pointed at the ground?

Like with colorblindness, show a person flashcards with colors on it and eventually, you will be able to 'map' their color perceptions, even if you can't see it and they can't descibe it.

(I played this game with my colorblind brother ages ago. I'd show him my green shirt and ask him what color it was, etc.)

What we'll never know is if my yellow is your purple, as long as it's absolutely consistant across all colors.

One of my favorite lectures in college was Edwin Land (of Polaroid Land Camera fame) talking about color and pecerption. He projected a prismatic spectrum onto a whiteboard with a bunch of transparent overlays on top and asked people to come up and draw the outline of what they could see, and then put them all together. There was a huge variation in how far people could see into one end of the spectrum or the other. Really remarkable.

flowersintheattic

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Re: Captian Know-It-All stories
« Reply #149 on: November 30, 2010, 10:59:31 PM »
My FH's friend drives me crazy with this sort of stuff! We have different political beliefs, and he'll literally corner me and proceed to berate me on my beliefs, telling me exactly why I'm wrong and he's right. Except he usually isn't. He has the habit of only believing and reading things that confirm his own beliefs, so he frequently misses when things get proven wrong or debunked.

I've tested him, and he'll change his argument if I change mine. Meaning if I start out saying X is correct and Y is wrong, and then another day say Y is correct and X is wrong (I've done this to play devil's advocate in discussions with others in his presence, and also a few times specifically to see how he'll react), he'll automatically go opposite. It makes me wonder how much he's really listening to me and how much he's disagreeing with me because he knows we disagree fundamentally.
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