Captain Know-It-All stories

[LadyClaire]

Pepto actually makes me vomit more. When my stomach is upset I cannot stand to drink down that thick, chalky, horrid tasting stuff.

[jmarvellous]

Pepto actually makes me vomit more. When my stomach is upset I cannot stand to drink down that thick, chalky, horrid tasting stuff.

No kidding. I found this out the hard way when I was on a weekend trip to the middle of nowhere, got very sick from my food (more likely there was hidden meat in it and my sensitive vegetarian belly couldn't handle it). The only medicine at the only gas station was proto. I took so much my tongue turned black (common side effect of too much Pepto, I found out a year later), and it did absolutely nothing helpful.

(BF at the time was the know-it-all, "This is the ONLY thing that works for upset stomachs!"

[Slartibartfast]

Pepto is basically chalk - it soaks up the stomach acid and coats everything in there, so the stomach lining isn't as irritated and the muscles have to work harder to make you throw up.  If you are really seriously sick you'll vomit anyway, but it won't hurt your throat as much.

[Virg]

hjaye wrote:

"However, in regard to modern day revolvers, even though they do not have a safety like you will find on an automatic which will prevent you from pulling the trigger, modern revolvers are equipped with a piece of metal called a transfer bar.  When you squeeze the trigger all the way back, this bar will push the hammer forward so that the firing pin will make contact with the primer in the cartridge.  If the hammer were in the cocked position and somehow fall forward, without your finger on the trigger, the bar will not engage and the firing pin will not strike the primer and the gun will not discharge.  Older revolvers do not have this (I'm not sure when they were first introduced) the firing pin rested directly on the primer and a hard strike on the hammer could cause a gun to fire accidentally."

I know this was quite some time ago, but it doesn't stand to the initial CKIA statement in CakeBeret's story.  The CKIA's statement was, "A revolver cannot be discharged unless the hammer is first pulled."  Even in the case of a properly maintained new revolver with a transfer bar, a full pull on the trigger with an uncocked hammer will cause the revolver to fire, so his rude statement was also factually incorrect.  The fact that newer revolvers won't accidentally discharge like older ones is a sideline to that.

lmyrs wrote:

"If I had someone screaming "Wrong Answer" at me, I'd be sorely tempted to scream back, "Cite Your Source!!" That's just obnoxious."

A better answer to such a statement that's so easily disproven is "Wanna bet?"  You might as well make some cash while you're making CKIA eat crow.

Virg

[Virg]

To each his/her own is my watchword in medication.  Personally, Pepto-Bismol has always worked extremely well for me in dealing with nausea, and not much else ever has.  In this case, I can't label Piratelvr1121's DH as a CKIA (and saying that the tea is better than what he decided for himself skirts on CKIA behavior itself), because presumably he does know his own body and what works for her or the kids or honestly anyone else might not work as well for him, and he didn't say that Pepto-Bismol worked better in all cases, just for him.

Virg

[RingTailedLemur]

To each his/her own is my watchword in medication.  Personally, Pepto-Bismol has always worked extremely well for me in dealing with nausea, and not much else ever has.  In this case, I can't label Piratelvr1121's DH as a CKIA (and saying that the tea is better than what he decided for himself skirts on CKIA behavior itself), because presumably he does know his own body and what works for her or the kids or honestly anyone else might not work as well for him, and he didn't say that Pepto-Bismol worked better in all cases, just for him.

Virg

But she didnt have any Pepto, and he wouldn't even try the tea.

[Auntie Mame]

My best friend's ex husband (sooooooo happy is an ex) was the know it all to end all know it alls.  He was the foremost expert on everything, and I mean everything!

He would rudely interrupt conversations in that obnoxious braying donkey voice of his to tell you that YOU were wrong about whatever topic you were discussing and HE was right, then he would correct you.

Well, one day, I put him in his place and he never did that to me again.  I was at a party at best friend and obnoxious braying donkey's house.  I had recently returned from living overseas for a few years and was quietly chatting in the corner with a few friends who wanted to hear stories about my time in "overseas country".  I'm relating some cultural differences and telling stories when braying donkey yelling (I'm serious, he started yelling so loud all the conversations stopped and everyone turned with jaws dropped) about how I was wrong about "overseas country" it wasn't like that at all, then proceeds to "correct" me.

I let him bray for awhile then calmly asked him "So when you lived in overseas country, what was your experience like?".  "Uh, I've never been to overseas country".  I stared at him for about three beats as he squirmed (everyone at the party was also staring at him staring at him, because he had been yelling at me) then said "Oh.  I see." turned back to the snickering people I had been originally conversing with and said "As I was saying..."

Braying donkey never, ever "corrected" me again.

[Piratelvr1121]

To each his/her own is my watchword in medication.  Personally, Pepto-Bismol has always worked extremely well for me in dealing with nausea, and not much else ever has.  In this case, I can't label Piratelvr1121's DH as a CKIA (and saying that the tea is better than what he decided for himself skirts on CKIA behavior itself), because presumably he does know his own body and what works for her or the kids or honestly anyone else might not work as well for him, and he didn't say that Pepto-Bismol worked better in all cases, just for him.

Virg

But she didnt have any Pepto, and he wouldn't even try the tea.

Pretty much this. If he had tried the tea first, said it didn't work for him and could he please have P-B now, I'd be fine with that.  Puzzled, but fine.  But it was the attitude of "I KNOW it won't work for me!" without trying it that was what annoyed me. 

But it also explains where our middle child gets it. He, too, was sure this tea wouldn't work for him and didn't want to try it. I had given him a cup of another type of tea from the same company and he still got sick, so on Friday, when he was sick, I went out and bought another canister of this flavor and made him drink a cup.   He obeyed and then afterwards admitted that yes, it does help a lot.

I did get the pepto after all (we had the tablets but he wanted the liquid) and it did help him, but again, that he wouldn't even try the tea and knew it wouldn't work on him was the CKIA part of it.

[siamesecat2965]

To each his/her own is my watchword in medication.  Personally, Pepto-Bismol has always worked extremely well for me in dealing with nausea, and not much else ever has.  In this case, I can't label Piratelvr1121's DH as a CKIA (and saying that the tea is better than what he decided for himself skirts on CKIA behavior itself), because presumably he does know his own body and what works for her or the kids or honestly anyone else might not work as well for him, and he didn't say that Pepto-Bismol worked better in all cases, just for him.

Virg

But she didnt have any Pepto, and he wouldn't even try the tea.

Pretty much this. If he had tried the tea first, said it didn't work for him and could he please have P-B now, I'd be fine with that.  Puzzled, but fine.  But it was the attitude of "I KNOW it won't work for me!" without trying it that was what annoyed me. 

But it also explains where our middle child gets it. He, too, was sure this tea wouldn't work for him and didn't want to try it. I had given him a cup of another type of tea from the same company and he still got sick, so on Friday, when he was sick, I went out and bought another canister of this flavor and made him drink a cup.   He obeyed and then afterwards admitted that yes, it does help a lot.

I did get the pepto after all (we had the tablets but he wanted the liquid) and it did help him, but again, that he wouldn't even try the tea and knew it wouldn't work on him was the CKIA part of it.

I did this with my mom once, when I was about 13. I had a fever, and had to be somewhere the next day. She made me a toddy, tea with whiskey and lemon which was disgusting, and I SWORE up and down would make me worse. she made me finish it, and sure enough, the next day i was fine. however, after an incident a couple years ago, I'm not so sure it was that, or me. I had a fever which came and went in 24 hours, to which mom said "you used to get fevers as a kid at the drop of a hat, then they'd be gone in less than a day"

[Piratelvr1121]

Oooh I love hot toddies!!

[Virg]

Piratelvr1121 wrote:

"I did get the pepto after all (we had the tablets but he wanted the liquid) and it did help him, but again, that he wouldn't even try the tea and knew it wouldn't work on him was the CKIA part of it."

I still don't agree with calling him a CKIA.  Firstly, the Pepto-Bismol did help him.  Second, his stated concern was that the tea would make him violently ill where the Pepto-Bismol wouldn't (again, proven out by the fact that it did help him) so his resistance to something that might make him worse over something he knew would make him better isn't unreasonable.  Third, your assumption that it would help him is exactly the same as his assumption that it wouldn't, and in the end he didn't say it wouldn't work, just that it wouldn't work for him.  Since he was only refusing the tea for himself and not decrying it in general, he's allowed to make that kind of call about his own body without being a know-it-all.  Haven't there been quite a few mentions on this forum about how some doctor or relative deigned to know more about someone's body than they themselves do, and how irritating it was to the people involved?

Virg

[Cami]

I have to work with a CKIA. Unfortunately, as is often the case with captains, he's also a "right fighter". You can NOT bean dip this guy -- he simply will not allow the subject to be changed. He MUST be right and you must acknowledge his superior knowledge. You cannot even leave -- he will follow you around. He once waited for me outside the bathroom door to continue the fight.  99% of the time, he's proven to be wrong in public and his boss demands a public apology. Which he gives, with reddened face and averted glance. What amazes me is that he then does it again and again and again.

I've come to wonder if this behavior is, in some way, OCD because you'd think after a while even the biggest dullard would learn from negative reinforcement to shut up or know when to let it go.

[bansidhe]

This is a very mild CKIA incident that we still tease my mother about now and again.

My mother was born and raised in Texas and all of my extended family lives there, though my immediate family is in Arizona. When my younger sister and I were in our early teens, mother, sister, and I went to Texas for a summer vacation. At one point all of us were driving with my aunt through a series of small towns in central Texas and my mother went into CKIA Certified Texas Expert lecture mode, regaling us with the history of the area and obscure facts about the little towns. Being teenagers, we were bored stupid.

As we drove through the umpteenth little town she said, "This area is known for its honey production and you can frequently see beehives. In fact, look: there are beehives right over there!" She pointed out some roundish-looking objects in the distance and returned to the endless lecture about honey production. As we drew closer to the beehives, it became apparent that they were, in fact, gravestones in a cemetery. That put a stop to the lecturing. 

For years afterward whenever we passed a cemetery one of us would gleefully shout, "Look! Beehives!"

[heartmug]

LOL!  Great story.

[Frostblooded]

Um, they're both liquids, dear.  This one tastes better than pepto bismol and is a lot more effective, in my experience.  He reminds me of the guy in the 1-800 contacts commercial who claims he has "special eyes." Apparently DH's stomach is different than anyone else's.

MAH BRAHND.

Snigger. Doesn't he know that is satire?