Author Topic: Captain Know-It-All stories  (Read 141744 times)

4 Members and 5 Guests are viewing this topic.

Virg

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5879
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #750 on: February 19, 2013, 10:27:53 AM »
Shalamar wrote:

"Without hesitation, she snapped "It's not six months, it's TWENTY-SIX WEEKS."  I said "My mistake" and walked away - then I halted in my tracks and said "Hey, waitaminute ...""

Oh, the missed opportunity.  There will likely never again in your life be a more perfect time to respond, "Six of one..."

Virg

EmmaJ.

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1408
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #751 on: February 19, 2013, 10:46:33 AM »
Shalamar wrote:

"Without hesitation, she snapped "It's not six months, it's TWENTY-SIX WEEKS."  I said "My mistake" and walked away - then I halted in my tracks and said "Hey, waitaminute ...""

Oh, the missed opportunity.  There will likely never again in your life be a more perfect time to respond, "Six of one..."

Virg

 ;D

snowflake

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1812
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #752 on: February 19, 2013, 11:58:53 AM »
In my family, if you aren't CKIA, there is something wrong with your self-esteem.  Seriously. Have you ever seen the diagram of a PhD? http://matt.might.net/articles/phd-school-in-pictures/  My parents both have PhDs and as far as they are concerned, a PhD is not specialized.  It is a license that says that you are always right even if you haven't so much as read an article on the subject.  I don't mean they're idiots.  They're both very intelligent.  But they just love to hear themselves speak on subjects about which they are not educated at all.

Occasionally I will actually hear them refer to "so called experts." or say things like, "Well I think I have a natural instinct for knowledge that is worth much more than studying."

I have no idea why anyone EVER awarded them a degree.  Unless it was to get them the heck out of the program.

The thing that drives me nuts the most is that they (and my siblings) will pontificate on a controversial subject and say, "Well lets get to basics, I think we can all agree that...<Insert a supposition that would support their opinion.>...and from that we see that there is no alternative but to agree with me." 

Well, no. Not everyone agrees.  That would be the point of controversy!

My mother claims she invented Head Start.  I'm embarrassed to say I actually believed her until I got a Master's in social work.  Well OK, so I did doubt but I didn't want to believe that she was crazy enough to make such an odd claim for many years.  The odd thing is that she believes it's this massive profit-generating machine and that she has been cheated out of the royalties.  I keep wanted to correct her and tell her that she needs to claim that she invented Baby Einstein instead.


Black Delphinium

  • The Black Flower
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7460
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #753 on: February 19, 2013, 12:01:47 PM »
That makes me so glad my DH is not like that.
When angels go bad, they go worse than anyone. Remember, Lucifer was an angel. ~The Marquis De Carabas

Lynn2000

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5067
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #754 on: February 19, 2013, 12:12:02 PM »
snowflake, I think my Captain Know-It-All former co-worker, Mike, would fall in the same category as your parents! He was pretty insufferable when he was studying for his PhD, I can only imagine it's gotten worse with the unwashed masses now that he's actually a doctor (fortunately not around us anymore!). Though of course when everyone is a doctor, just having a PhD does not impress people.

The thing was, he was pretty smart, and actually correct about certain things that were within his interest. If it was outside his interest, say a genre of literature he didn't care for, obviously it was unimportant.  ::) Naturally, his political leanings were the only sensible opinion anyone could have. He was continually startled by what other people didn't know, but felt it was his moral duty to inform them--once a random stranger on the street was treated to a lecture about nuclear physics (NOT our area of expertise) because he made an off-hand comment to Mike involving a common misconception about nuclear energy. Mike was shocked the man didn't know the details and expected the rest of us to commend him for enlightening the guy.

He was from New England and believed that everything good or important had been invented in New England; if we had it here in flyover country, it was because it had come from New England, and if we didn't, well, that just showed how far behind we were.  ::) He was a bag of eye-roll, actually.
~Lynn2000

Shalamar

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1151
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #755 on: February 19, 2013, 01:01:25 PM »
Quote
Though of course when everyone is a doctor, just having a PhD does not impress people.

Ooh, that reminds me of a CKIA I worked with about ten years ago.  I'm in IT, and generally speaking, most of the people I work with have a Bachelors of Computer Science.  Some don't have a degree at all, some have more than one, but that's the usual situation.  CKIA had a B.Comp Sci and ostentatiously hung his diploma in his cubicle on his first day.  Well, okay, maybe he was just really proud of his accomplishment.  Except that about a week later he sent out an e-mail that said something like "(Blah) happened, and this inconvenienced me.  Do not do this again." 

Bear in mind that the guy had been with the company for only a week at that point.   :o  Evidently he'd never heard that new hires should be seen and not heard for the first couple of months!

rose red

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7550
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #756 on: February 19, 2013, 02:43:07 PM »
I guess we all have one of those.  There was a new hire who was the manager of his old company, but is now just a regular employee.  He kept trying to boss his supervisor around because he know the right way to do things, don't cha know?  Except he frequently got things wrong.  And take hours to fill out paperwork that takes old timers 10-15 minutes.  But he's smarter and better than the rest of us, don't cha know?  So we should treat him as such  ::).

Slartibartfast

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11664
    • Nerdy Necklaces - my Etsy shop!
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #757 on: February 19, 2013, 04:53:08 PM »
DH is a programmer, and loves that he's one of two people in the company who "only" have a bachelor's degree.  The other person is the owner  :P  Everyone else has at least one master's or PhD, and most have several.

artk2002

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12828
    • The Delian's Commonwealth
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #758 on: February 19, 2013, 05:25:04 PM »
DH is a programmer, and loves that he's one of two people in the company who "only" have a bachelor's degree.  The other person is the owner  :P  Everyone else has at least one master's or PhD, and most have several.

I have a BS Math/Comp.Sci. and never went on to a graduate degree (I'm a great programmer but a lousy student.) Most of my colleagues are shocked to find that I don't have a PhD. I lost out once on a job because I didn't have a PhD. They asked me very pointedly why I didn't. I wouldn't have taken the job had they given an offer since they were clearly focused on a symbol and not what I could do for them. Their loss.

Academic skill, and the ability to navigate graduate school are not good prerequisites for developing good software. I've waded through too much bad code written by grad students and recent PhD grads to have any illusions there.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

siamesecat2965

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8662
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #759 on: February 19, 2013, 05:27:51 PM »
DH is a programmer, and loves that he's one of two people in the company who "only" have a bachelor's degree.  The other person is the owner  :P  Everyone else has at least one master's or PhD, and most have several.

I have a BS Math/Comp.Sci. and never went on to a graduate degree (I'm a great programmer but a lousy student.) Most of my colleagues are shocked to find that I don't have a PhD. I lost out once on a job because I didn't have a PhD. They asked me very pointedly why I didn't. I wouldn't have taken the job had they given an offer since they were clearly focused on a symbol and not what I could do for them. Their loss.

Academic skill, and the ability to navigate graduate school are not good prerequisites for developing good software. I've waded through too much bad code written by grad students and recent PhD grads to have any illusions there.
I agree, and I also think that goes for people who never went to college. I knew a woman who only had a HS diploma. yet she started in advertising, and when I met her, worked her way up to a senior VP. she eventually went on to head up either marketing or PR for a large, multinational retailer. So clearly a degree isn't always necessary.

I knew someone else who's husband lost his job, and he did something IT-related. but because he had no degree, he had to go back to school to get one, as all recruiters told him he'd never get hired again without onel.

Elisabunny

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1320
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #760 on: February 19, 2013, 10:29:53 PM »
My mother claims she invented Head Start.  I'm embarrassed to say I actually believed her until I got a Master's in social work.  Well OK, so I did doubt but I didn't want to believe that she was crazy enough to make such an odd claim for many years.  The odd thing is that she believes it's this massive profit-generating machine and that she has been cheated out of the royalties.  I keep wanted to correct her and tell her that she needs to claim that she invented Baby Einstein instead.

"Mom, the current opinion seems to be that Head Start is a very expensive failure.  Can you tell what went wrong?" >:D
You must remember this: a ghoti is still a fish...

Library Dragon

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1403
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #761 on: February 20, 2013, 01:27:07 AM »
My step-father is a CKIA. More than 5 minutes in his presence is enough to cause me to loose all my cool.  Experience and training have no bearing on his knowing more than anyone in the universe.

Long Convoluted BG: We travelled across country for Thanksgiving.  My sister had prepared dinner in a friends home because her house was not large enough.  Sister's friend was out of town.  Except for my sister's family this was everyone's first time in this house. 

My DH has to step outside repeatedly due to cat allergy.  After a couple of hours he quietly tells me that he has to stay outside.  CKIA starts proclaiming that there is no cat in the house. He would know.  (CKIA is not allergic, we had several cats as pets in my youth.) My brother calmly says that he has heard the cat upstairs.  No, he is wrong, CKIA would absolutely know if there was a cat.  We were wrong and stupid.  DH's wheezing was all psychosomatic. 

I think the only reason I didn't hit him with the turkey carcass is I was trying to be nice in front of my grandmother.  I call over the ridicule of my ignorance and ask my sister if her friend has a cat.  Why, yes she does.  It's upstairs in one of the bedrooms because she knew my DH is allergic.

            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

RebeccainGA

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1207
  • formerly RebeccainAR
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #762 on: February 20, 2013, 11:08:16 AM »
My mom's father (Pa-Pa to me) was like this - almost no topic was safe to discuss with him. Gas prices? Gotta find the cheapest, because the gas is 'fresher'. Food? All you can eat is the only kind of restaurant for him - if they make the plates, they cheat you and make their own lunch from what you should have been given. Weather? In his day....

I loved him, but NEVER talked about anything with him.

suzieQ

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 606
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #763 on: February 20, 2013, 11:41:04 AM »
My mom's father (Pa-Pa to me) was like this - almost no topic was safe to discuss with him. Gas prices? Gotta find the cheapest, because the gas is 'fresher'. Food? All you can eat is the only kind of restaurant for him - if they make the plates, they cheat you and make their own lunch from what you should have been given. Weather? In his day....

I loved him, but NEVER talked about anything with him.

I think that is the saddest part of my relationship with DH. I can't ever talk about anything with him because he is a CKIA. Anything I might say, even just a passing statement of opinion is immediately refuted. I can't ever be right about anything and if I do persist to prove I'm right, he just drops the subject and refuses to continue the discussion.

I used to think it was because I graduated college and he graduated high school. But my goodness, we are in our 40's now and I'm not even using my degree! I like what another poster said and I agree - my DH is a "bag of eye-roll".  ::)
Check out my crocheted cross body bags for phones!

http://phlings.blogspot.com/

Zilla

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6506
    • Cooking
Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #764 on: February 20, 2013, 11:48:47 AM »
I have a friend like this, Betty likes to announce the obvious/or show off and smother it with sickly sweet kind southern honey. (we are in the deep south).  For an example, the other day we were talking about something that happened on the news with a listed offender and how if the registry does or does not work/help etc.  Betty said, "Y'all know that there is website where you can look up the offenders."  We told her, "Yes Betty that's why we are discussing the merits of the registry."  Betty said, "Oh well I just wanted to let y'all know just in case you didn't because the website is really useful to know about."  Um yeah thanks.  And this is on EVERY TOPIC we discuss.  Ugh.  We have tried ignoring her, directly telling her and indirectly telling her.  But to no avail.  She just likes to state the obvious and demonstrate her knowledge.  I was reminded of this when reading this thread!