Author Topic: Captain Know-It-All stories  (Read 151910 times)

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Diane AKA Traska

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #765 on: February 20, 2013, 01:41:15 PM »
My mom's father (Pa-Pa to me) was like this - almost no topic was safe to discuss with him. Gas prices? Gotta find the cheapest, because the gas is 'fresher'. Food? All you can eat is the only kind of restaurant for him - if they make the plates, they cheat you and make their own lunch from what you should have been given. Weather? In his day....

I loved him, but NEVER talked about anything with him.

I think that is the saddest part of my relationship with DH. I can't ever talk about anything with him because he is a CKIA. Anything I might say, even just a passing statement of opinion is immediately refuted. I can't ever be right about anything and if I do persist to prove I'm right, he just drops the subject and refuses to continue the discussion.

I used to think it was because I graduated college and he graduated high school. But my goodness, we are in our 40's now and I'm not even using my degree! I like what another poster said and I agree - my DH is a "bag of eye-roll".  ::)

Oooh, the drop-the-conversation-because-you're-losing gambit.  I HATE that.  I'll admit when I'm wrong, I expect the same courtesy!

I hereby dub that variety of CKIA the "CYKN"... Captain You-Know-Nothing!
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rose red

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #766 on: February 20, 2013, 02:02:12 PM »
Ever been in the presence of two know-it-alls who find every opportunity to prove the other wrong?  I have two relatives like this.  When invited to a family thing, I always hope at least one won't be there. 

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #767 on: February 20, 2013, 02:27:00 PM »
I remember two people in college who always, always butted heads whenever they got together and both were CKIA's.

CKIA 1) A Wiccan, she knew EVERYTHING there was to know about being pagan, Wiccan, and Christian.

CKIA 2) A Jewish man who had converted to Christianity.  He knew all there was to know about Judaism AND Christianity.

His girlfriend was also the roommate of CKIA 1  And she was also Wiccan.  I'm still friends with this woman and whenever the two CKIA's would get into it, she and I would just kind of back off and hope they'd forget we weren't there.  Because, invariably, if they did notice our presence, they'd notice me and start in on me, because at the time I was a Catholic. Very liberal one, but still, and their accusations about the church weren't even modern ones (this was in the late 90's) but rather things that haven't been around since before I was born, even centuries old grievances that led to the divide of the churches, but they'd speak about them as though they were still going on.

I was treated to lectures about how priests are paid dear amounts to pardon mortal sins, they had witch hunts, Lent is wrong because people should not be expected to completely fast for 40 days, etc. etc..  I would point out that while some things did happen, that was several, several centuries ago.  And as for the fasting during Lent, now people are only expected to avoid red meat and poultry on Ash Wednesday and Fridays during Lent. 

Nope, I was wrong.  ::)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

hobish

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #768 on: February 20, 2013, 02:32:40 PM »
A clear case study in rectal cranial inversion disorder, yes.

 >:D

Hahaha. That made me laugh. My old sup and I, when I did appraisal underwriting, used to joke that we were going to send addendums for, "Appraiser to perform rectal cranial inversion and resubmit report."
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2littlemonkeys

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #769 on: February 20, 2013, 02:34:27 PM »
I sometimes encounter a different version of the Captain Know It All and that's someone who serves up a fact about something and gets offended when you already know about it.  I have a relative who does this a lot.   "Say, did you know that the Earth revolves around the sun?!"  And when I say that I did know that, they get pouty about it, like how DARE I know that?????.  It is so bizarre. 

Maybe that should go in the brain hurt thread...

Shalamar

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #770 on: February 20, 2013, 02:52:39 PM »
That's a coincidence, Piratelvr1121  - I have a CKIA friend who's also a Wiccan.  This story has nothing to do with her beliefs about Wiccanism (is that a word?), though.

A while back, a group of us were watching Snakes on a Plane.  Now, if you've seen it, you'll know that it's a dumb, fun movie that no-one takes all that seriously - except for CKIA.  She kept interrupting to say things like "That's wrong.  That kind of snake doesn't do that.  That's wrong too.  That kind of snake isn't poisonous to humans", over and over, until I was ready to scream "WHO CARES?!?"

I had a bit of a laugh at her expense, though.  There's a scene in the movie in which someone's been bitten, and they're going to die unless someone can suck out the poison.  CKIA said "Ha!  They're just going to suck out the poison without preparing themselves first.  If they don't line their mouths with something like olive oil, they'll absorb the poison themselves."   Just then, the character on the screen said "Can I have a bottle of olive oil, please?"

LadyClaire

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #771 on: February 20, 2013, 03:56:04 PM »
DH is a programmer, and loves that he's one of two people in the company who "only" have a bachelor's degree.  The other person is the owner  :P  Everyone else has at least one master's or PhD, and most have several.

I have a BS Math/Comp.Sci. and never went on to a graduate degree (I'm a great programmer but a lousy student.) Most of my colleagues are shocked to find that I don't have a PhD. I lost out once on a job because I didn't have a PhD. They asked me very pointedly why I didn't. I wouldn't have taken the job had they given an offer since they were clearly focused on a symbol and not what I could do for them. Their loss.

Academic skill, and the ability to navigate graduate school are not good prerequisites for developing good software. I've waded through too much bad code written by grad students and recent PhD grads to have any illusions there.
I agree, and I also think that goes for people who never went to college. I knew a woman who only had a HS diploma. yet she started in advertising, and when I met her, worked her way up to a senior VP. she eventually went on to head up either marketing or PR for a large, multinational retailer. So clearly a degree isn't always necessary.

I knew someone else who's husband lost his job, and he did something IT-related. but because he had no degree, he had to go back to school to get one, as all recruiters told him he'd never get hired again without onel.

Which is funny..my sister and her husband are both in IT. My sister is in an especially high level position and both of them make excellent money. Neither has a degree. My sister went to medical school for one semester and dropped out. Her husband never went to college.

magicdomino

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #772 on: February 20, 2013, 04:04:09 PM »

A while back, a group of us were watching Snakes on a Plane.  Now, if you've seen it, you'll know that it's a dumb, fun movie that no-one takes all that seriously - except for CKIA.  She kept interrupting to say things like "That's wrong.  That kind of snake doesn't do that.  That's wrong too.  That kind of snake isn't poisonous to humans", over and over, until I was ready to scream "WHO CARES?!?"


Someone who expects logic from Snakes on a Plane?  A movie that had plot holes big enough to drive my pick-up truck through, starting with the whole idea of using a bunch of snakes to bring down a passenger jet when a black market missle launcher would have been much cheaper and faster?  That belongs in the Brain Hurt thread.   :o

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #773 on: February 20, 2013, 04:26:26 PM »
That's like the guy who got all up in arms because, in the third pirate movie, Jack and Davy Jones are fighting on the yardarm of a ship during a maelstrom and thunderstorm, and call it "against the laws of physics"

It's an adventure/fantasy, for crying out loud. It's Disney.  There are mermaids, guys with squids for faces and crab claws instead of hands on ships that absorb crewmembers and go below the surface of the water in a time before submarines.  Mythological creatures and people who come back from the dead.  And he expects them to obey laws of physics?
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Elfmama

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #774 on: February 20, 2013, 04:34:19 PM »
My mom's father (Pa-Pa to me) was like this - almost no topic was safe to discuss with him. Gas prices? Gotta find the cheapest, because the gas is 'fresher'. Food? All you can eat is the only kind of restaurant for him - if they make the plates, they cheat you and make their own lunch from what you should have been given. Weather? In his day....

I loved him, but NEVER talked about anything with him.

I think that is the saddest part of my relationship with DH. I can't ever talk about anything with him because he is a CKIA. Anything I might say, even just a passing statement of opinion is immediately refuted. I can't ever be right about anything and if I do persist to prove I'm right, he just drops the subject and refuses to continue the discussion.
Mine gets mad.  "Why do you always have to prove that you're right?"  Because you never believe me, DuH.
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faithlessone

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #775 on: February 20, 2013, 05:35:32 PM »
I sometimes encounter a different version of the Captain Know It All and that's someone who serves up a fact about something and gets offended when you already know about it.  I have a relative who does this a lot.   "Say, did you know that the Earth revolves around the sun?!"  And when I say that I did know that, they get pouty about it, like how DARE I know that?????.  It is so bizarre. 

Maybe that should go in the brain hurt thread...

There was a girl like that on my course at university. The worst thing was that she'd get like that about our own course material. I'm talking about basic things, stuff that was practically general knowledge, and that anyone who liked our subject enough to consider getting a degree in it would obviously know. She would also repeat things verbatim from earlier classes (to her fellow students), and be outraged that we weren't impressed that she had remembered.

I always figured that she'd been top-top of her class at school, and hated the fact that she was now surrounded by peers (and superiors) instead of underlings.

However, I didn't socialise with her outside of class (thankfully), so I don't know whether she was like that about every subject, or just ours. From the stories I've heard on here, I would imagine she was probably a bit of a universal CKIA. :)

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #776 on: February 20, 2013, 06:02:56 PM »
Isn't it interesting how CKIAs are so adept at causing brain hurts - either a stress headache just from having to deal with them, or because the so-called "knowledge" they are spouting is blatantly ridiculous!

In reference to the movie-realism CKIAs mentioned upthread:

While watching the film Gladiator, my CKIA brother (who is really Caption Clueless!) pointed to a scene where Russell Crowe cuts another fighters head off in the area and said scornfully "That's not real!"  ??? ??? ??? ??? My other brother and I could only stare at him. I mean, I know stunt people get paid to take risks but... ::) Seriously? Was my brother actually complaining that they didn't really cut off a live person's head?? It wasn't a bad special effect. So did he think we were stupid enough to think it was real?... We could only shake our heads sadly and go back to watching the movie before the migraine set it.

PS: I was actually under the impression that sucking the venom out of a snakebite didn't work, so I never heard about the "preferred" oil method. Anyone know a lot about snakes and/or first aid and want to clarifying this in a non-CKIA way? ;)
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Slartibartfast

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #777 on: February 20, 2013, 06:05:52 PM »
I can confidently say that a mouthful of oil before sucking on a corn snake bite will result in neither person getting poisoned.  Then again, there's no poison involved to begin with, so . . .

(And yes, I'm one of those people who watched "Snakes on a Plane" and tried to identify all the non-venomous snakes they used.  It was a lot.)

Iris

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #778 on: February 21, 2013, 12:19:15 AM »
Sucking the venom out hasn't been the advised method here (Australia) for a very long time. And we know our snakes, trust me.

A pressure bandage and immobilisation followed by medical treatment asap is the accepted method for most bites now.
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Elfmama

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Re: Captain Know-It-All stories
« Reply #779 on: February 21, 2013, 12:24:21 AM »
It is here in the US, too.  However, "sucking the poison out" is one of those memes that refuses to die.
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It's true. Money can't buy happiness.  You have to turn it
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