Captain Know-It-All stories

[Diane AKA Traska]

My uncle is such a CKIA... he told me once that "After age 15, the human body doesn't need protien, fats or sugars."

I'm ashamed to admit I didn't go "Wait whaaat?" for a few years.

That one's actually completely true.

If you're DEAD.

[ladyknight1]

I love my parents, but they are unwilling to make changes that would benefit them.

My mother gives doctors a God-like reverence. Their favorite family doctor retired 8 years ago. Every piece of advice that doctor ever told them is now held as gospel truth. That doctor recommended Advil for pain and inflammation over a decade ago. So, my parents will only take Advil for anything. No prescription pain medication is allowed, no other OTC medication. That is their choice, but when they complain to me that Advil isn't helping with the pain then refuse to take anything else, I want to shake them!

My mother grew up on a farm, and feels it is cruel to have animals in the city, because they can't wander. 

[Anyanka]

For me, it's the tone. That condescending, now-little-girl-let-me-do-the-thinking tone. My hackles rise.

I love you, dad. Really, I do. I just want to smack you occasionally.

quote tree snipped.

My mother does that tone too.The last time she was here, she used that tone to tell me that once I was married and a parent I'd realise how hard it is when one for your children keep correcting you. I was trying to show her about conscription in WWI in a book published by the Imperial War Museum while she was adamant that there was no conscription and IWM didn't know what they were publishing.

I had been married for over 10 years and our oldest was 12. The 3 children speak French much better than us so I'm used to being corrected by some-one who knows what they talking about. When DM tried her French, 1940's European pronuncation, while we were out only the older generation(ie her age) understood and then she was annoyed that "those people' were dilibrately misunderstanding her to make a point.

[suzieQ]

I love my parents, but they are unwilling to make changes that would benefit them.

My mother gives doctors a God-like reverence. Their favorite family doctor retired 8 years ago. Every piece of advice that doctor ever told them is now held as gospel truth. That doctor recommended Advil for pain and inflammation over a decade ago. So, my parents will only take Advil for anything. No prescription pain medication is allowed, no other OTC medication. That is their choice, but when they complain to me that Advil isn't helping with the pain then refuse to take anything else, I want to shake them!

My mother grew up on a farm, and feels it is cruel to have animals in the city, because they can't wander. 

Ahhh! The doctor is God complex! My MIL had it and DH does to an extent. MIL had a doctor that was waaay past his prime. He sent her for a prostate exam!!!!! I saw the paperwork myself. She went, of course, because doctors are GOD! I imagine the nurses at the hospital got a really good laugh out of that one.

[mbbored]

I live 3000 miles from my mother, in an area that's consistently 10 to 20 degrees warmer. I talk to her once a week on the phone and every time she asks me how's the weather. Every time I say "It's been chilly this week," she snaps back "No, it's not! It's 50 there and 50 isn't chilly!" If I say in the summer it hasn't been as hot lately, she almost sneers "It's 90 there, how can that not be hot?"

Why do you always ask me what the weather is if you already know? And it's not at all possible that what's normal for your climate is NOT normal for mine?"

[Tea Drinker]

I live 3000 miles from my mother, in an area that's consistently 10 to 20 degrees warmer. I talk to her once a week on the phone and every time she asks me how's the weather. Every time I say "It's been chilly this week," she snaps back "No, it's not! It's 50 there and 50 isn't chilly!" If I say in the summer it hasn't been as hot lately, she almost sneers "It's 90 there, how can that not be hot?"

Why do you always ask me what the weather is if you already know? And it's not at all possible that what's normal for your climate is NOT normal for mine?"

Maybe you should try answering with "Can't complain. How about you?" Because it's true, you can't complain: she won't let you. She won't even let you say that you like the weather.

[snowflake]

My uncle is such a CKIA... he told me once that "After age 15, the human body doesn't need protien, fats or sugars."

I'm ashamed to admit I didn't go "Wait whaaat?" for a few years.

I had a sibling who went vegetarian at 18 and tried to tell us all that it was a myth that human beings need protein.  I tried to tell her that she meant, "meat" because you can get protein from on-meat sources and she insisted it was protein.  She said that humans were born with all the protein they needed.  Because a 9-lb baby has as much protein as a 150-lb woman?  Why yes!   If she gets extra protein, that's what makes her overweight!

The sad thing was, she had just finished Honors biology and got a fabulously good grade.  I very much enjoyed getting an education and would never knock it.  But sometimes my family isn't exactly a ringing endorsement for education as an investment.

[siamesecat2965]

My uncle is such a CKIA... he told me once that "After age 15, the human body doesn't need protien, fats or sugars."

I'm ashamed to admit I didn't go "Wait whaaat?" for a few years.

I had a sibling who went vegetarian at 18 and tried to tell us all that it was a myth that human beings need protein.  I tried to tell her that she meant, "meat" because you can get protein from on-meat sources and she insisted it was protein.  She said that humans were born with all the protein they needed.  Because a 9-lb baby has as much protein as a 150-lb woman?  Why yes!   If she gets extra protein, that's what makes her overweight!

The sad thing was, she had just finished Honors biology and got a fabulously good grade.  I very much enjoyed getting an education and would never knock it.  But sometimes my family isn't exactly a ringing endorsement for education as an investment.

This is like my friend who is convinced there is bran in fruits and vegetables. Not fiber, but bran, a grain. I politely tried to tell her she was mistaken, that htere are different types of fiber, but she would have none of it.  Ok fine.  I did giggle though since she apparetnly has some health and food issues. and had posted something on some support group website relating to her issues, but was asked to clarify that this is what she does, not what everyone should do who has the same issues. She was a bit put out, but I told her hey, some people will believe anything, so its best just to say this is what you do, and leave it at that

[Shalamar]

This reminds me of when my older daughter, who was 17 at the time, decided to become a vegan.  She's a very smart kid and did her homework on what constitutes a healthy eating plan for a vegan, so I wasn't worried about her.  Boy oh boy, though, does she run into some know-it-alls.  If I had a dollar for every time she'd heard something like "Are you eating enough protein?  You know you need protein, right, even if you're not eating meat?", I'd be rich. 

Funnily enough, someone in our family ended up with an iron deficiency - but it wasn't her, it was me.  Turns out that now that I don't eat as much red meat, I haven't compensated properly by eating other stuff that contains iron.

[ladyknight1]

Shalamar, I am glad your daughter did her research. I work at a university and our health center has a seminar on being vegan or vegetarian without junk food. It is baffling to me how much junk food the average young adult eats, especially if they cut an entire portion of available foods out of their diet. They learn to create complete proteins and a well balanced diet.

During stressful times, we end up medically evacuating 10-15 students a term because they had a breakfast consisting entirely of energy drinks on no food and no sleep. 

[mbbored]

My friend apparently is the world's greatest fitness expert. Granted, he is an ultramarathoner, so his way is clearly the only way.

When I said, "I'm signing up for zumba classes because I'm trying to shake up my workout routine!" He says "You just need to run farther and faster." I say "Eh, I'm feeling a little burned out and trying to find something that excites me." Him: "That's why you need to run farther and faster! Only lame fat people do group exercise."

I bean dipped my way out of the conversation as an array of other friends declared they must be fat lame people, since they did group exercise.

[Slartibartfast]

My friend apparently is the world's greatest fitness expert. Granted, he is an ultramarathoner, so his way is clearly the only way.

When I said, "I'm signing up for zumba classes because I'm trying to shake up my workout routine!" He says "You just need to run farther and faster." I say "Eh, I'm feeling a little burned out and trying to find something that excites me." Him: "That's why you need to run farther and faster! Only lame fat people do group exercise."

I bean dipped my way out of the conversation as an array of other friends declared they must be fat lame people, since they did group exercise.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but marathons tend to involve, you know, groups, right?  Exercising together?

[oceanus]

My dad once was discussing a local (semi)celebrity and said the man was a Christian.  I asked "How do you lnow?"  Dad said "We can all recognize and spot each other".   Okaaaaay.   

[Slartibartfast]

My dad once was discussing a local (semi)celebrity and said the man was a Christian.  I asked "How do you lnow/"  Dad said "We can all recognize and spot each other".   Okaaaaay.   

Ooh, wonderful!  Now we have an easy answer to that whole "Are Catholics Christian?" thing from the brain hurt thread    (Like a truffle-sniffing pig, but for Christianity?)

[Iris]

My friend apparently is the world's greatest fitness expert. Granted, he is an ultramarathoner, so his way is clearly the only way.

When I said, "I'm signing up for zumba classes because I'm trying to shake up my workout routine!" He says "You just need to run farther and faster." I say "Eh, I'm feeling a little burned out and trying to find something that excites me." Him: "That's why you need to run farther and faster! Only lame fat people do group exercise."

I bean dipped my way out of the conversation as an array of other friends declared they must be fat lame people, since they did group exercise.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but marathons tend to involve, you know, groups, right?  Exercising together?

Nooooo... It's several separate lone wolf types who enjoy the solitude and drive of the open road and self challenge who just HAPPEN to be in the same place at the same time. And the fact that they get really really excited about their placing in NO WAY compromises their integrity as totally self driven athletes.  Yeah, right.

To be fair I know many marathoners who are not pretentious about it in the slightest. It's just that those that are tend to be really, really pretentious about it.