Captain Know-It-All stories

[girlysprite]

My dad once was discussing a local (semi)celebrity and said the man was a Christian.  I asked "How do you lnow/"  Dad said "We can all recognize and spot each other".   Okaaaaay.   

Ooh, wonderful!  Now we have an easy answer to that whole "Are Catholics Christian?" thing from the brain hurt thread    (Like a truffle-sniffing pig, but for Christianity?)

It's like the gaydar, except it works on Christians

[Bethczar]

My dad once was discussing a local (semi)celebrity and said the man was a Christian.  I asked "How do you lnow/"  Dad said "We can all recognize and spot each other".   Okaaaaay.   

Ooh, wonderful!  Now we have an easy answer to that whole "Are Catholics Christian?" thing from the brain hurt thread    (Like a truffle-sniffing pig, but for Christianity?)

It's like the gaydar, except it works on Christians

Praydar?

[Diane AKA Traska]

My dad once was discussing a local (semi)celebrity and said the man was a Christian.  I asked "How do you lnow/"  Dad said "We can all recognize and spot each other".   Okaaaaay.   

Ooh, wonderful!  Now we have an easy answer to that whole "Are Catholics Christian?" thing from the brain hurt thread    (Like a truffle-sniffing pig, but for Christianity?)

It's like the gaydar, except it works on Christians

Praydar?

Here, have an internet.  Made it fresh this morning.

[Kaypeep]

My dad once was discussing a local (semi)celebrity and said the man was a Christian.  I asked "How do you lnow/"  Dad said "We can all recognize and spot each other".   Okaaaaay.   

Ooh, wonderful!  Now we have an easy answer to that whole "Are Catholics Christian?" thing from the brain hurt thread    (Like a truffle-sniffing pig, but for Christianity?)

It's like the gaydar, except it works on Christians

Praydar?

Here, have an internet.  Made it fresh this morning.

I'm turning off the computer now.  Nothing more to see here.  Probably won't come back over the weekend either. 
 

[Elfmama]

DH grew up in a cult, and has always claimed he can spot people from that specific cult from miles away. 10 years ago I told him he was full of excrement, as people of any ethnicity/walk of life etc can and do join. Thing is he has not been wrong one single time in the whole ten years since that claim. He says it's posture among other things that tip him off. I just don't get it.

I assume is something similar to martial artists and the way they hold themselves. Military, ex or current, have a similar bearing when they move or stand. Some serious historical re-enactors have that same bearing.

Yes.  We were stationed in Europe during a time when tensions were rather high about world events.  US military members were told to not make themselves conspicuous. We always wondered how to do that, as you could tell other Americans as far away as you could see them, just from the way they carried themselves.

[Piratelvr1121]

A woman I used to be friendly with insisted that the Catholic church had JFK assassinated, along with the other Kennedys that have died young.  I said "Oh I doubt that" (mind you I wasn't defending the Vatican, I just doubted the probability)  Now mind you this was last year.  I knew this woman was 49 so she was born in 63.  I was born in late 78. 

She says to me "OH you're too young to remember it!"  Yeah, I know I was born several years later but she would have been 6 months old when he was shot. I don't know anyone with memories from before they were a year old. 

[RingTailedLemur]

DH grew up in a cult, and has always claimed he can spot people from that specific cult from miles away. 10 years ago I told him he was full of excrement, as people of any ethnicity/walk of life etc can and do join. Thing is he has not been wrong one single time in the whole ten years since that claim. He says it's posture among other things that tip him off. I just don't get it.

I assume is something similar to martial artists and the way they hold themselves. Military, ex or current, have a similar bearing when they move or stand. Some serious historical re-enactors have that same bearing.

Dancers, too.

[Layla Miller]

A woman I used to be friendly with insisted that the Catholic church had JFK assassinated, along with the other Kennedys that have died young.  I said "Oh I doubt that" (mind you I wasn't defending the Vatican, I just doubted the probability)  Now mind you this was last year.  I knew this woman was 49 so she was born in 63.  I was born in late 78. 

She says to me "OH you're too young to remember it!"  Yeah, I know I was born several years later but she would have been 6 months old when he was shot. I don't know anyone with memories from before they were a year old.

That reminds me of CKIA's online cousin, the "Everyone born after X year is ignorant of history" meme that goes around every so often.  Yes, I was born after the Vietnam War ended.  That doesn't mean I've never heard of it.  By that logic, no one in the world knows anything about the American Revolution, Socrates, or the Renaissance. 

[FauxFoodist]

I sometimes encounter a different version of the Captain Know It All and that's someone who serves up a fact about something and gets offended when you already know about it.  I have a relative who does this a lot.   "Say, did you know that the Earth revolves around the sun?!"  And when I say that I did know that, they get pouty about it, like how DARE I know that??.  It is so bizarre. 

Maybe that should go in the brain hurt thread...

I'd love it if DH would just pout when he pulls that one. Nope. I say "yes, I do know that" and he ignores me and proceeds to expound on the subject until I'm ready to puncture my eardrums just to make him stop!

SS Relative (SSR) is one of these, also.  Months ago, I made an innocuous statement for my FB status, "Enjoying beverage w/blankety-blank made by my wonderful DF."  SSR then took it upon herself to respond, "Do you know that blankety-blank isn't vegan?  It's made with blah-blah that comes from animals!"    was my immediate thought since I'm not vegan, never have been and never professed to be.  However, this was not the first idiotic post SSR has made, including to *my* FB page so I simply responded with something like, "Hmm, I'm not vegan.  However, I've known blah-blah is an animal byproduct and have known this for about 30 years; haven't you?"

Anyway, she never responded to that but, apparently, she counted it as one of my many "offenses" against her and when she tried to force me to address said offenses (sorry, but unless she were willing to have a two-way convo where I'd get to speak my piece, also, about the offenses she committed, it wasn't going to happen), she did me the great relief of not only dropping out of my wedding (she was supposed to be a bridesmaid) but also not attending (both of which is actually what I wanted -- her dropping out and not attending -- after experiencing her increasingly obnoxious behavior, not limited to e-mailing then-DF to make him make ME deal with her issues with me and publicly posting on our FB wedding page how terrible our wedding menu is -- yup, that's a person that really needed to be a part of our wedding day!).  Apparently, she still posts CKIA stuff on her FB page.  I think the rest of us just go "okay, whatever" and move on (well, those who still see her posts; I blocked her updates from my newsfeed a long time ago since they were just too nutty and numerous).

[Jones]

DH grew up in a cult, and has always claimed he can spot people from that specific cult from miles away. 10 years ago I told him he was full of excrement, as people of any ethnicity/walk of life etc can and do join. Thing is he has not been wrong one single time in the whole ten years since that claim. He says it's posture among other things that tip him off. I just don't get it.

I assume is something similar to martial artists and the way they hold themselves. Military, ex or current, have a similar bearing when they move or stand. Some serious historical re-enactors have that same bearing.

Dancers, too.

Heh, that reminds me of Sal from "Bunheads."

[Piratelvr1121]

DH grew up in a cult, and has always claimed he can spot people from that specific cult from miles away. 10 years ago I told him he was full of excrement, as people of any ethnicity/walk of life etc can and do join. Thing is he has not been wrong one single time in the whole ten years since that claim. He says it's posture among other things that tip him off. I just don't get it.

I assume is something similar to martial artists and the way they hold themselves. Military, ex or current, have a similar bearing when they move or stand. Some serious historical re-enactors have that same bearing.

Dancers, too.

Heh, that reminds me of Sal from "Bunheads."

LOL!! Oh man, the scene where he's going on and on about Michelle's dancer tush!

[snowflake]

A woman I used to be friendly with insisted that the Catholic church had JFK assassinated, along with the other Kennedys that have died young.  I said "Oh I doubt that" (mind you I wasn't defending the Vatican, I just doubted the probability)  Now mind you this was last year.  I knew this woman was 49 so she was born in 63.  I was born in late 78. 

She says to me "OH you're too young to remember it!"  Yeah, I know I was born several years later but she would have been 6 months old when he was shot. I don't know anyone with memories from before they were a year old.

That reminds me of CKIA's online cousin, the "Everyone born after X year is ignorant of history" meme that goes around every so often.  Yes, I was born after the Vietnam War ended.  That doesn't mean I've never heard of it.  By that logic, no one in the world knows anything about the American Revolution, Socrates, or the Renaissance. 

I've heard that before.  Someone laughed that I couldn't possibly know about JFK being shot because I only remembered Reagan.  Well lets see, if I had never picked up a history book I still would have noticed every single adult saying, "It's just like JFK!" that afternoon when I heard the news.

[Piratelvr1121]

Or when people discuss where they were when JFK was shot.  Or insist you are too young to know of a certain singer/band.   Okay so I was born after the Beatles disbanded, after Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix unfortunately left this world, but my parents had records, alright? 

Heck, I listened to "Pearl" a lot more than they did and knew the words to "Mercedes Benz" by the time I was 9!

[cabbagegirl28]

DH grew up in a cult, and has always claimed he can spot people from that specific cult from miles away. 10 years ago I told him he was full of excrement, as people of any ethnicity/walk of life etc can and do join. Thing is he has not been wrong one single time in the whole ten years since that claim. He says it's posture among other things that tip him off. I just don't get it.

I assume is something similar to martial artists and the way they hold themselves. Military, ex or current, have a similar bearing when they move or stand. Some serious historical re-enactors have that same bearing.

A friend of mine claims he can recognize "the schizophrenic shuffle" - apparently there's a characteristic bearing and movement at a particular level. I give him a pass on CKIA status because he doesn't claim to recognize everyone with schizophrenia, every time - just those who are at a certain stage.

There are some meds for the condition which can cause schizophrenics to have a shuffle if it is not caught in time. I'll stop there, because any more info is too close to medical advice, for my taste.

[Slartibartfast]

Or when people discuss where they were when JFK was shot.  Or insist you are too young to know of a certain singer/band.   Okay so I was born after the Beatles disbanded, after Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix unfortunately left this world, but my parents had records, alright? 

Heck, I listened to "Pearl" a lot more than they did and knew the words to "Mercedes Benz" by the time I was 9!

For future reference, though, the correct response to "Have you heard of X?" [where X is a famous singer/band the speaker is remembering fondly] is NOT "Ooh, we learned about him/her/them in our music history class!"

Yeah, just saying    (For what it's worth, I was the youngest one in the car by about twenty years and everyone else thought it was funny except for the woman who had been talking.  Definitely a brain-not-engaged moment!)